Kill ‘em With Kindness

By | February 20, 2013

Sometimes my fellow, future post-apocalyptic queens and I like to daydream together about what our ideal post-apocalyptic world will be like. We plan to run the post-apocalyptic world not through strong-arming communities out of their supplies but through kindnessThis world often involves copious amounts of  moisturizer, rum, and POWER.

Some people will argue that kindness doesn’t go hand in hand with drunken, supple-skinned overlords. I beg to differ.

It’s not just you, I also doubt I could beat you in a fist fight or quick draw but I’m sure I could beat you in a game of which glass is filled with rum and which glass is filled with rum and poison!

Sharing is caring and I think you look tired and thirsty and I’m ever so grateful you helped me out of this pothole. I’m inclined to show you a bit of “kindness” in return (we talked about women in the post-apocalypse).

The rum isn’t only for entrapment purposes though, we believe in rewarding hard work be it by ourselves or by others. Loyalty is earned after all.


And the moisturizer? We just really hate dry skin.

Also we know that, if leveraged appropriately physical beauty can be one key to our ultimate goal of POWER!

While others are scraping together bits of trash and  scrap metal to tie to baseball bats, we’ll be keeping it fresh and clean so we can appear like an oasis in the desert. Sirens were on to something with the whole come a little closer gag.

I don’t just want to live or survive in a post apocalyptic world. I want to bask in it.

Being vain and drunk and worst of all believing in kindness to thy fellow man doesn’t exactly sound like a plan for success does it?

The Quick and Easy Plan to Kill ‘Em With Kindness:

1. Distract with my outer appearance. Look! Boobies and soft skin!

2. Everyone has a weakness for liquor at the end of the world. I invite you yo have a drink with me. I’ll likely be under the table after a shot or two…

Weird how I’ve got the giggles and you can barely walk.

3. I don’t want to hurt you, or listen to you, or even really upset you. I’m just going to quickly rob you or kill you or let you join us (options vary depending on party size and location).

 

3 thoughts on “Kill ‘em With Kindness

    1. tavia. Post author

      We have seen it. Jamie is currently checking out the calendar! I think I wouldn’t trust any of those women though. They seem like traps and intsta-death in booty shorts. Though those wowed by such displays might at least die happy.

      Reply

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