Where’s the ‘Run and Hide’ Button?

By | April 21, 2013

I’m watching Resident Evil: Retribution (That’s 5 for the uninitiated) and one of the Michelle Rodriguez characters is all sweet and innocent and doesn’t know how to hold a gun. So eventually bad ass Alice around again and teaches her to shoot a 30 second tutorial and gives her a child to protect.

HUWAT?! Do you give a shit of this child lives?

Not the point. The point is M.Rodz immediately  looks around and says, “Over there looks like a good place to hide.”

Right, home girl? There are zombies on motorcycles using rocket launchers and someone it thinking straight. This blaze of glory shit is not for everyone. Sometime Plan A needs to be protect ya neck.

This is also my major issue with video games when I have a team. Sure I’m playing as Whoever TheFuck, The Unfuckwithable, but if Jill Valentine is hunting me, the last thing I’ll be doing is waiting in the street to confront the bitch. That goes for double sure if I’ve got Leon S. Kennedy, Ada Wong, or Luther West fighting “alongside me.” Ya’ll handle that, I’ll loot these crates. Let’s play to our strengths.

Sometimes when I play Halo with friends, my goal is to not have the last death. Or the most deaths. Or the lowest Kill-Death ratio (I usually fail epically at this one). Or at least not all of those things in one game. My goal is to survive pretty well. Well enough that I don’t cost us the game. I don’t call it the “crouch button,” I call it the “hide button” because that’s what I use it for.

[I'm always tempted to do the same thing when I'm with NPCs but that never works. It's like they're not using real bullets... Which is why I equip turrets and spam grenades.]

And in real life I’ma crouch in a corner no matter how much faith Alice has in me. Why? Because as soon as shit got rough and M. Rodz tried to use that gun she got tossed to the side to death like a chump. Lesson learned.

One thought on “Where’s the ‘Run and Hide’ Button?

  1. Pingback: I don't want to be last... (Zombies, Run! 5k Training) | In Case of Survival.

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