Watch Out: Primal [2010]

Primal is a movie I found accidentally. I can’t tell you what to look for if you want to find the genre because I don’t really understand what twists and turns brought me to a life where I have now not only watched this movie but I also want you to watch this movie.

Whoever you are, you should watch Primal. Not because it’s a “good movie” but because you should see it. Like 2001: A  Space Odyssey … Yes, I’m saying I didn’t think that was a good movie but a movie worth seeing all the same. Make no mistake, these movies are not going to be in the same place in the theatrical history books.

Primal is a cautionary treasure trove to be studied and learned from. the acting is decent and the writing is really okay.

Let’s Highlight some of Primal’s more stand out lessons:

Bugs, man…

Animals and insects are our fist line of defense when it comes to understanding our environment. If the bugs are acting weird and acting out of turn by drawing blood and creeping out trespassers, it’s a sure sign that something is not right.

There are trained professionals to do the nonsense you’re guessing about

Just because Wil Traval looks like a superhero and swaggers around confidently doesn’t take away from the fact that his character, Dace, is an anthropology student…

Don’t take medical advice and direction from an anthropology student. He won’t even be qualified for most jobs after graduation because anthropology skills don’t really translate to needs of the actual non-fictional workforce.

Stop trying to reason with crazy

Dace, “She fucking killed Warren!”

Chad, “She’s sick.”

Dace, “She’s eating him…”

Chad, “She needs help.”

Dace, “She’s fucking eating him!”

Salt on Leaches

It is handy to know (or be reminded) that in the horrifying event yourself with leeches attached to your body, you can pour salt on them to get the off. So, remember to bring salt on all your lake-side camping trips.

Swimming in random bodies of water is hella dumb

Unless there’s a sign or other clear indication that a body of water is cool with you swimming in it, you have about a 50% chance of dying from jumping in. It could be filled with contaminants, leeches, portals to hell dimensions… literally, anything and you’re about to discover for the edification of onlookers.

Thank you for your service?

Your overly cautious friend is probably on to something

That one wet blanket friend who’s scared of everything can be super annoying but also a good barometer for danger. Instead of mocking and eye-rolling, consider what might be causing this fear. Is it childhood trauma, bad vibes, a vague understanding of the situation with a unique perspective, or a desperate need to be focused on?

What’s your emergency plan?

If you’re out in the middle of the woods and someone gets injured, your plan should be better than listening to the guy who sounds confident and looks like he could probably save someone.

Don’t touch ancient shit.

Maybe it’s part of the anthropology student learning process but ancient shit will almost always have strong opinions about being disturbed. As ancient shit can’t talk, it will often express these opinions in the form of curses, possessions, and general mayhem.

“Show me your friends and I’ll tell ou who you are,” as my mother use to say to me.

By the end of the movie, I was wondering how these people actually knew each other. One set was a couple but acting like they were in an arranged marriage and constantly shocked by on another’s behavior.

They don’t listen to one another, respect is at a minimum, they turn without hesitation in seconds, murder is almost always the first solution, and none of them seem to know or care why the others are on this trip.

And… tentacle monsters!

Apparently, they’re everywhere. Literally everywhere.

tavia.

My parents let me watch and read way too much science fiction and fantasy when I was a child. Now that I'm grown, I'm bored and I can't wait for SkyNet to awaken or the super-virus to cull the human population. I'll be safe because I've learned to reason with robots from Data and the Terminator franchise... and I eat gummy vitamins by the fist-full.

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