The zombie apocalypse parenting class: Part 1

By | October 8, 2012

Welcome to the apocalypse. You’re a parent. Are you prepared?

Note: I was able to take this class for free because I’m reviewing the class for ICoS.

I’ve written about post-apocalyptic parenting in the past here on ICoS. Being a post-apocalyptic parent is something I think about, albeit a little less often than I think about post-apocalyptic evil space monkeys. (What can I say, I’m really into evil space monkeys. Especially if they’re pirates. But I’m not into them THAT way, so get your mind out of the gutter.)

Of course, most of what I’ve written about is hypothetical. After all, I really have no idea what the world will be like after an apocalypse, so I have even less of an idea of what parenting will be like after said apocalypse. It’s really anybody’s guess. (And I’d imagine some guesses are more interesting than others.)

That being said, there are some things we can prepare for as parents. And really, there are some things we already prepare for. Don’t believe me? Think about it: if you’ve ever traveled for any length of time with young children, you’ve packed, prepared, and thought about at least half a dozen contingencies (possibly related to a kid losing a security blanket, getting bored, or running out of diapers). That type of prepping is, at its root, the same thing as preparing for a disaster. Because I don’t know about you, but if my youngest lost her security blanket, I’d probably be hoping for the apocalypse to come around.

If, however, you don’t think you’re ready for a disaster – apocalyptic or otherwise – but want to be, there are actually classes you can take. (I know, right?) And here in Calgary, there’s a zombie apocalypse parenting class.

I KNOW. I never thought I’d see “zombie apocalypse,” “parenting,” and “class” together in any sort of phrase, but there you go. Not surprisingly, it’s a class that helps you prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Also disasters and big emergencies, but that’s not nearly as important as the zombie apocalypse, right? Exactly. Now I, as a responsible parent (or something like that), jumped at the chance to take this class, because dude, seriously. It’s a zombie apocalypse parenting class. How could I not take it?

It’s a good thing I did, too, because holy chalupas on a paper plate, I am SO NOT PREPARED.

Let’s take a look, shall we? In the opening questionnaire, the first question was, “name five things that you always keep in your diaper bag or car.” I answered based on what’s always rolling around in my van, because I no longer carry a diaper bag (oh thank the gods). So what do I have in my van at any given time? Bottled water, baby wipes (most likely dried out), a stroller, random jackets, and kids’ toys. (I didn’t mention the cheeseburger wrappers, escapee French fries, and the occasional (used) napkin.)

Granted, old French fries might make a good weapon – they’d be hard and crunchy enough to do some damage if I had a whipped it at someone’s head. Note to self: put slingshot in glove box.

And then there was the question about what skills we’d bring to a zombie survival team. Well, crap. Does Google-fu count? No? What about making fun of people? Also no? Well, that means I’m toast. Make sure someone prevents me from snacking on your brains, ok?

On a more serious note, we also discussed how people get their news. After all, in an emergency situation, it’ll be important that people find out what’s going on as soon as humanly possible. Figuring out Little Johnny’s soccer schedule when, say, a tsunami is bearing down on your location is probably not the safest or smartest thing for you to be doing. But if you don’t know what’s happening out there, you’re probably going to prioritize that schedule. Get what I’m saying here?

For fast-developing events, the best source of information is probably Twitter. Love it or hate it, Twitter has a lot of active users, and they share a lot of information. Yes, some of it’s useless, but some of it…isn’t. Of course, there’s also Facebook. Personally, I found out about last year’s Japanese tsunami via Facebook – my brother was updating his status as the earthquake was happening (he was in Tokyo at the time).

Really, social media can be a good source of up to the minute information, especially when it comes to emergencies or disasters. (It’s also a good source of what people had for lunch, but hey, you win some, you lose some.)

All in all, the class was fun, informative, and lighthearted. Well, as lighthearted as you can get when you’re talking about a scenario when the world has just gone to hell around you. But hey, you gotta laugh, otherwise you’ll cry.

I learned quite a bit from the class, and I highly recommend you take it (or one like it, if you’re not in Calgary). Or maybe at some point in the future, Lindsay will consider offering this via webinar for those who aren’t lucky enough to be in Calgary. (Hint, hint?)

I will talk about the class in greater depth in subsequent posts, but I wanted to get the general overview up for you to read. Lindsay and her co-teacher gave us a lot of information – all of it good information – and I wanted to share the basics of it with you. Of course, this doesn’t take away from the class (and I still think you should take it if you can), because I couldn’t get all the information written down. Also, nothing beats the person-to-person interaction that allows you to ask questions and all that fun stuff.

Basically, this means you have to stay tuned over the next couple weeks while I round off the post series!

Thank you again to Lindsay Ross and Babes in Arms in Calgary for allowing me to sit in on this class!

Website: www.babesinarms.ca
Twitter: @babesinarmsshop

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