The Mythical Land of Safety and Security and Free Food

It’s in the North. Unless you’re from the North, then it’s in the East. Well if, like me, you’re in the Northeast, it’s in Canada or out West. Maybe down south in Florida.

Wherever it may be, it’s a vague and general direction far from where you currently are. There’s someone in your party who wants desperately to go there. It’s the brand new Promised Land where fast food and hot showers still exist, who wouldn’t want to go there? A Smarty Pants is who.

Just like weight loss pills that not only work but also won’t eventually blow your heart up or destroy your metabolism, it doesn’t exist. Never wholly at least.

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