Survival Strategies to Stay Safe While Traveling Abroad | Infographic

This is a guest post by our ally Mike from Mike’s Gear Reviews

If you’re traveling abroad this summer what are your key priorities? Passport? Check. Suitcases crammed full of your finest shorts and vests? Check and check. How about safety equipment and items that could be the difference between survival or not? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Often it’s overlooked by many of us, but having essential safety equipment stowed away in your luggage is a vital component to having a stress free and safe vacation. Can you imagine being stuck in a remote location after a day of rock climbing, suffering a wound and not having a first aid kit to patch you up until help arrives? In some cases that could be the difference.
What about emergency services? Do you know the correct numbers to call in a foreign land? 999 isn’t universal. Quickly, it becomes apparent that personal safety is often neglected when it comes to preparing for a vacation, but fortunately, Mike’s Gear Reviews are on hand to give you the correct information you need to enjoy a safe and sound trip abroad. Read on and discover the essential bits of information for surviving in a foreign country!. Continue reading “Survival Strategies to Stay Safe While Traveling Abroad | Infographic”

5 Tips for (neurotic) Survival On a Boat

Last week I spent seven days on a boat and couldn’t stop thinking about the derelict barges in Orchid. Sure I was on a cruise to Bermuda and I drank a lot of Bud Lite Limes and mudslides and piña colada, but I was ever vigilant.
I’m not sure if I’d want to spend generations on a ship. No, I’m sure, I would not want it. See in Orchid there were Rape Gangs on the barges. And Cannibals. And the fun goes on. But the best part? You’re better off on the boat!
There were days where we couldn’t see land in any direction. What a frightening, tiny feeling.
Have you seen Prometheus? If no, do that and you’ll understand my unease.
Even though it was a vacation and a choice, I couldn’t help but see it as being stranded, trapped on a boat. I read the safety guides and noted the locations of life boats. And then I lost my glasses. Oh god, being on vacation and in a semi-scary location without the luxury of being able to see everything clearly is nerve wracking.

5 ways to make a week on a boat (cruise ship) easier on the mind:

1. A compass

A plain ole magnetic compass. the most disquieting thing about being on a cruise is that at some point you can’t see land in any direction, you have no cell signal, and you’re just trapped on a floating hotel with a bunch of drunks and geriatrics.
There’s something reassuring about the basics of a compass. It can be trusted. So, if at some point you get that tiny feeling and need to remind yourself which direction land is in, check your standard, no nonsense, no charging necessary compass and rest assured you’ll be back on dry land some day as long as you know where to find it.

2. Extended wear contact lenses

Not worrying about where your glasses are or if your expensive prescription sunglasses will fall off your face will save you a lot of time and woe. If you’re worried about needing to grab your stuff and go in a hurry or bob about in the water, you might want to invest in some contacts.
Keeping in mind that a bathroom on boat, even a cruise ship, is fairly small and hard to maneuver in, it makes sense to invest in some extended wear lenses for the week of the trip.
I’m not a eye doctor/care professional/ or anyone who knows the ins and out of eyeballs and vision. Check with your eye doctor and see if you can get some.
Even if you aren’t a contacts person I suggest it. I had a trial pair just for the day of my wedding and it was a great idea. I’m to chaotic to have them all the time but for one day (or one week) it worked for me.
Also, there are a lot of promotions intended for people who regularly wear contacts to wear try this brand or that and you could end up seeing clearly for free!

3. Knowing how to swim or how to admit you can’t

I’m not a strong swimmer. Actually, I’m really good at not drowning. Some might blame it on my blackness, others on my lack of coordination. Either way, I let people know. If you think I’m drowning, I very well might be, check in often. It’s okay to admit your weaknesses but more important to be able to compensate for them.
If there are life vests to be had, I find them and try them on or wear them if it’s suggested[1. Not at the beach like a tool bag].
I should just learn to swim but…

4. Bring some non-perishable food and your own water

Oh dear god the amount of food on a cruise is staggering. Upon my return I was excited to hear my stomach growling. The cruise line goes to great lengths to ensure the highest standards of food preparation on-board the ship, but what if…
Also, what if, what if the apocalypse hits or an EMP takes out your electronics when aliens send their first wave?
Whatever the case, you’ll want to be able to have a few options for food you know you can eat and you know won’t go bad and water you know is clean and free of alien microbes/parasites/hallucinogenics.

5. Pay attention to the safety guidelines

When the titanic hit that iceberg everyone ran for their lives. Well, on a ship, there’s only so far you can run until you have to try a new strategy. Fortunately for you, all the right moves have been outlined and diagrammed with pictures and the people working on the ship are required to be more that happy to explain them to you.
Unlike in the past, when poor people didn’t deserve to live, cruise ships today must have enough life-saving bells and bobs for every single person on-board and they’re required to make a honest and thoughtful effort to educate you on that life-saving what-have-you.
Some people will choose not to listen because they’d rather sun bathe by the pool. That’s  cool, you can die confused and sunburned while I climb into this life boat wearing my safety vest.

5 Apocalyptic Lessons From Halo: Reach

Halo: Reach, the final installment-prequel in the Halo series by Bungie, chronicled the initial invasion and downfall of the human race on the planet Reach to the Covenant.

The planet Reach is humanity’s last line of defense between the encroaching Covenant and their ultimate goal, the destruction of Earth. If it falls, humanity will be pushed to the brink of destruction.
source

Known for it’s fairly short campaign mode and extensive multiplayer offerings, Halo: Reach is a perfect way to learn a few apocalypse life lessons. Continue reading “5 Apocalyptic Lessons From Halo: Reach”

I am your post-apocalyptic benevolent dictator.

Oh yes, I am. It’s time to be honest with you – I don’t prepare so I can spend the next thrity years of my shortened life span grubbing in the dirt. I prepare so that I can make you do that for me. And you’ll do it, because by then you’ll love me.
Continue reading “I am your post-apocalyptic benevolent dictator.”

What Are Women Worth at The End of The World?

Many of the depictions of apocalyptic life we see are over the top and hyper-fictionalized.  In the few more realistic versions, there is a disquieting, reoccurring theme: women are weak and they can be broken, owned, and kept.
We see forced prostitution, the normalization of rape and capture for fun and profit, and maybe worse yet, women who stand up and act like people–especially strong people– are considered anomalous. If a woman speaks up, hunts, protects the group, or displays any skill outside of making babies, tears or meals she’s wowing the audience or they’re rolling their eyes.
The fact that a strong woman or girl invested in her survival is a novelty should be a red flag. If the apocalypse happened tomorrow, would the women you value today be seen as valuable people or just usable commodities?
Part of survival training needs to be not only developing the ability to stay alive but also the fortitude to fight for that life and your right to live it well and freely. I’ve mentioned before that part of a successful apocalyptic life, especially for women, will likely involve killing some jackholes who think they’re maleness affords them privileges to you femaleness. Continue reading “What Are Women Worth at The End of The World?”

Decorating With Safety (Tutorial)

A good post-apocalyptic wife will need to have safety in the forefront of her mind in all situations– even decorating.
Decorating is a great excuse for employing idle hands and filling empty walls. In the past I’ve created Space Invaders and Transformers inspired wall art, science fiction coasters, and video game themed shot glasses. This week though, I went with something even more practical: Decorative Safety Signage.
Husband is used to my projects and is really just happy when they’re finished and off the coffee table. So, when he saw me start on this project he merely nodded with approval at its simplicity and scowled at the spray paint. Apparently, some humans find toxic fumes irritating…
Another thing humans find irritating: Fire. Because of this, every home should be equipped with an easy to find fire extinguisher. Every adult in your home should also read and understand the usage directions for your fire extinguisher; not all extinguishers can be used on all fire types. But once you have the right fire extinguisher for your room is its helpful, directional signage going to clash with the rest of your hard decorating work?
Not if you make the sign yourself. (Also, the sign could go anywhere and just be a decorative misdirection.)
If you’re interested in making similar safety signage for your home, follow the tutorial below. Continue reading “Decorating With Safety (Tutorial)”

Post-Apocalyptic Fashion: The Shoes You Have

I bought a cute pair of shoes the other day. They made me sooo happy… until I wore them. Then, I wanted to bring them to life like Pinocchio just so I could beat them to death.
What if I’d had to out run something? What if my train had stopped in the middle of God-Knows-Where and I’d had to walk or hike or bushwhack? I’d have probably taken the shoes off and gone barefoot.
I felt legitimate visceral Hate[1. yes, with a capital H] for these shoes. So much so that I shoved them in the back of the closet as soon as I got home to prevent myself from accidentally saving them or slipping them on in a fire.
Sure, I’ve said it is important to live with small inconveniences now to help yourself in the long run. This is why I didn’t complain while they were on[5. Complainers go to the wolves]. I suffered in villainous silence, plotting the ruination of those tow-abusing monstrosities.
Another thing I did? I went home and reevaluated my shoe collection and organization. If you have, as I do, a metric shit ton of shoes, you’ll want to consider keeping them in different places. Specifically, some shoes should be by your major exits. I realize to some organized people this is blasphemous. But there is good reason for this:

  • If you keep all your shoes in your shoe closet in your hall/bedroom/guestroom/place that’s not the exit itself,  you run the risk of leaving your home without them if you leave in a hurry.
  • Choice is not always what you need. Sometimes you just need to know you’re weather ready and shoed.

Continue reading “Post-Apocalyptic Fashion: The Shoes You Have”

Post-apocalyptic babyproofing

The last time my toddler tried to climb the oven door to see the fun things that were happening on the stove, I had this crazy picture flash into my head. It was of my toddler climbing the ruins of a building somewhere in post-apocalyptic Earth and then falling off, only to be impaled by some random ruins below (or eaten by zombies that happened to be wandering by).
I realized a few things after this mental image popped into my head:
1. My daughter follows this climb-fall cycle far too often.
2. I have an overactive imagination.
3. What the hell are parents going to do for babyproofing post-apocalypse?
Continue reading “Post-apocalyptic babyproofing”

Why assumption will get you killed.

There’s a saying ‘To Assume makes an Ass out of U and Me’. I hate that saying, because it’s stupid and because it uses the American ‘ass’ and as far as I’m concerned that’s a donkey. I think that the saying should be ‘Assumptions will mean you starve to death or die of cholera’ but admittedly that’s not very catchy. However, it is much more accurate. Making assumptions probably won’t turn you into a donkey, but it will get you killed.
Continue reading “Why assumption will get you killed.”