Being Black in real life isn’t super easy. Sure you always have company whenever you go shopping, even if you started alone. You’re more likely to have a living will or healthcare proxy (at least you should). Because Black folks are dropping dead like it’s Jim Crow again.
South Park’s new game recently introduced a slider that was labeled “Difficulty” and changed the character’s race. The darker you are the “harder” the difficulty. It’s funny because it’s true.
Sometimes the present is boring and the future takes too long to get here. No hover cars, no robots, not a single alien. In video games we get to see the possibilities for the future good, but mostly bad. But I don’t think the bad is really all that bad. If you look from the right angle, some of these video game futures are kind of awesome.
If you’re a psycho or a bandit in the Borderlands future your life expectancy is probably not very promising.
However the Borderlands future is an entrepreneur’s dream. From magic powers to treasure chests everywhere you turn, it’s a wondrous place for those with plans and ambition. Would you like to run a bar like Moxie? Maybe have an army of brutes like Handsome Jack? Or, maybe you’d like to start a simple minion operation like Claptrap? It’s all possible!
Sir Hammerlock is an anthropologist of sorts and even though he’s lost a limb or two, he’s having a ball. Of course there’s a constant threat of death an destruction and the wildlife is out to get you, but that just spices up life on Pandora.
What’s the fun in just safely walking from point A to Point B with no threat of being stomped or devoured?!
2. Mass Effect
Ignoring the very end, Mass Effect was a damn good future while it lasted. Unless you were sick or enslaved or from a place that got invaded while no one was watching…
But! for people who live in the Citadel or on Commander Shepard’s ship life is pretty fun. There are so many different aliens to mingle with. Different planets are waiting to be mined for resources or treasure. There are bazaars for buying, discos for dancing, and beautiful views every which way you turn. And every time you want to go somewhere, you get to hop on a space ship.
Maybe (likely) a big draw for the Mass Effect future are the characters in it. Mordin, Garraus, Harrot… Any future that produces people like that, must be a wonderful place… aside from the constant threat of interstellar destruction. 3. Halo
Sure, life on the ground might be a bit chaotic with all the indiscriminate killing and various types of grenades being thrown at the suicide grunts and highly explosive vehicles but Spartans don’t live on the ground. Hopefully no one lives on the ground considering it’s pretty much razed except for the beautiful and indestructible buildings.
Oh and how beautiful are the buildings?! If there’s a dystopian, post-apocalyptic place to be stranded, one of the Halo colonies would be perfect. If there aren’t any Spartans or Flood or Covenant or other type of weapon-wielding juggernaut around, you could make yourself quite comfortable in one of the many abandoned buildings.
Hell, even if there are killer factions around, there are piles of weapons caches as well to help you defend your turf. Most buildings also have some kind of anti-air weaponry waiting to help keep your city beautiful. 4. Resident Evil
Very few people will agree with this one because it seems like Alice is the only person who survives this future without being controlled by robot spiders or locked in a coma pod. …Actually Alice might have died and been a clone or two a few times.
All that aside– and also ignoring the the fact that the zombies in this future are psychotic, monstrous beasts– notice that the zombie populations in the Resident Evil future are in massive hordes. Massive as in the entire population of California is gathering around this one building. That means everywhere else in California is empty and worry free.
Alice is a badass but she have a 50/50 save to loss ratio for her party member (at best). If your goal is to survive, avoid Alice.
Find a comfortable place outside a city to cal home and wait for whoever is fighting in this chapter to drop some bombs on the horde and know it’s not your problem. The skies (except in the one chapter there seemed to be vicious bird things…) are clear and the air is safe to breath.The pollution is no worse than it’s been and no one interrupts your shows to tell you a celebrity is having a baby. Even the bandits have to work hard to earn their keep. 5. Dead Rising
In Dead Rising 2 the zombie threat is mostly under control. Under control to the point where zombies are used in entertainment.
People choose to group up around zombies to watch them get their comeuppance. The uprising was quelled and now, instead of cleanly ridding society of zombies, zombies are props and the virus is a controllable condition. This sounds so great!
Maybe zombies feel pain, maybe they don’t but using them for violent entertainment is a bit barbaric. No worries, there’s even a group of activists that fight against that part.
All that nonsense aside, this is a future where you can find work on a zombie clean up crew, the malls are open, and the zombie virus can be kept at bay with pills. A boring lunch time walk requires a solid bat, just in case.If you’re spending a day at the beach, you pack sunscreen, towels, and a crowbar!
Who doesn’t want a world that’s mainly organized but has a bit of extra spice to kick things up a notch?
As a faithful apocalypse fan-girl I always look for ways to incorporate my passion into my everyday life without triggering institutionalization. Is it possible to subtly cosplay, prep, or otherwise support my passion for the end of the world? YES! With semi-practical, post-apocalyptic dress-up!
I’ll show you a few examples of how you might pay homage without looking like you’re planning “an event.”
A simple, day outfit that covers the edgy side of apocalyptic dress-up. Feel pretty in a practical thermal dress and leggings wile you carry your junk in a handy utility belt instead of a snatchable purse.
Everyone’s favorite badlands boss bitch can be your inspiration without too much fuss. You might want to add a bit more blue (aside from the shoelaces) with some accessories like a scarf, headband, or jewelry (especially on your left hand where Maya summons her power orb).
Alice always manages to sty fashionable throughout the end of the world. Actually, she seems to get increasingly more fashionable as the apocalypse worsens… It’s hard to pick just one of her outfits to be inspired by. Though once you eliminate the outfits that are outright unpossible due to them being half CGI and half PVC, there’s some great material work with.
I’m watching Resident Evil: Retribution (That’s 5 for the uninitiated) and one of the Michelle Rodriguez characters is all sweet and innocent and doesn’t know how to hold a gun. So eventually bad ass Alice around again and teaches her to shoot a 30 second tutorial and gives her a child to protect.
HUWAT?! Do you give a shit of this child lives?
Not the point. The point is M.Rodz immediately looks around and says, “Over there looks like a good place to hide.”
Right, home girl? There are zombies on motorcycles using rocket launchers and someone it thinking straight. This blaze of glory shit is not for everyone. Sometime Plan A needs to be protect ya neck. This is also my major issue with video games when I have a team. Sure I’m playing as Whoever TheFuck, The Unfuckwithable, but if Jill Valentine is hunting me, the last thing I’ll be doing is waiting in the street to confront the bitch. That goes for double sure if I’ve got Leon S. Kennedy, Ada Wong, or Luther West fighting “alongside me.” Ya’ll handle that, I’ll loot these crates. Let’s play to our strengths.
Sometimes when I play Halo with friends, my goal is to not have the last death. Or the most deaths. Or the lowest Kill-Death ratio (I usually fail epically at this one). Or at least not all of those things in one game. My goal is to survive pretty well. Well enough that I don’t cost us the game. I don’t call it the “crouch button,” I call it the “hide button” because that’s what I use it for.
[I’m always tempted to do the same thing when I’m with NPCs but that never works. It’s like they’re not using real bullets… Which is why I equip turrets and spam grenades.]
And in real life I’ma crouch in a corner no matter how much faith Alice has in me. Why? Because as soon as shit got rough and M. Rodz tried to use that gun she got tossed to the side to death like a chump. Lesson learned.
Video games and the apocalypse go hand in hand. Player One is always that one guy with shit to do and an appointment on Tuesday trying to make his (or her) way through this mess and help all these people out—how’d they survive before Player One came along?
But, we keep coming back to these needy people in their dangerous world because of some romanticism that we can hack it, fix it, or beat it into submission.
Of all the video game apocalypses, which is the worst; which is the best? Is it the overwhelming zombies of Resident Evil, the galactic invasions of Mass Effect, the aggressive extermination in Halo, or some other hellish scenario?
If given the choice, I’d find this Unicorn Apocalypse from the Samsung Mobile commercials and be there. I don’t know all the details of Unicorn Apocalypse I just know those are two things I need to see in one place in order to die happy.
Some of my favorite and most feared video game apocalypses