Apocalypse Mindsets Unleashed: Navigating the End with Swagger

Hey there, post-apocalyptic pioneers! So, the world is about to hit the fan, and you’re pondering, “What’s my apocalypse mindset?” Fear not, because we’re diving into the realm of survival philosophies with a dose of humor, confidence, and just a hint of madness. Buckle up, because we’re about to explore different mindsets in the post-apocalyptic world – casual, comedic, and confidently crafted.

  1. The Optimist: Pros: Glass half full, anyone? The optimist sees a barren wasteland and says, “Great, more room for activities!” Positivity might attract fellow survivors, and the sunny outlook can be contagious. Cons: Ignoring the harsh reality might lead to unexpected encounters with zombies or overly aggressive mutant squirrels. Not every post-apocalyptic creature is a cuddly friend.
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  2. The Pessimist: Pros: Prepared for the worst at all times, the pessimist won’t be caught off guard. Expectations are low, so any day without a zombie bite is a good day. Cons: Constantly predicting doom might be a bit of a downer. Also, good luck forming alliances when your mantra is, “We’re all doomed, so why bother?”
  3. The Realist: Pros: Balancing optimism and pessimism, the realist sees the world as it is. This mindset thrives on practicality, making decisions based on actual circumstances rather than wishful thinking.
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    Cons: Might come off as a party pooper when the optimist is planning a post-apocalyptic picnic. Sometimes, a bit of whimsy is just what the wasteland needs.
  4. The Survivalist: Pros: Ready for anything, the survivalist has a bug-out bag for every occasion. From a zombie attack to a sudden alien invasion, they’ve got the tools and the know-how.
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    Cons: Might spend more time prepping than actually enjoying the post-apocalyptic world. Also, the constant smell of camo and dehydrated meals might not be the most attractive aroma.
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  5. The Nomad: Pros: Embracing a wanderlust mindset, the nomad roams the wasteland, discovering new places and avoiding the pitfalls of settling in one location. Cons: Lack of a permanent home means limited resources and a constant sense of impermanence. Plus, finding good Wi-Fi for post-apocalyptic Netflix can be a real struggle.
  6. The Community Builder: Pros: Recognizing strength in numbers, the community builder seeks to establish a thriving post-apocalyptic society. Cooperation, shared resources, and a sense of unity are the cornerstones. Cons: The inevitable group drama, disputes over canned goods, and the occasional power struggle can make establishing a utopian wasteland harder than it sounds.
  7. The Lone Wolf: Pros: Independent and self-sufficient, the lone wolf relies on no one but themselves. Stealthy, resourceful, and with a knack for survival, they navigate the wasteland on their own terms. Cons: Loneliness, limited support in tight spots, and the lack of a second opinion when deciding whether that suspicious-looking mushroom is edible. Sometimes, a buddy system isn’t such a bad idea.
  8. The Philosopher: Pros: Seeking deeper meaning in the apocalypse, the philosopher reflects on the nature of existence, survival, and the profound questions that arise in a post-apocalyptic world. Cons: May get lost in existential musings while a zombie horde is closing in. Also, trying to discuss the meaning of life with mutants might not be as rewarding as anticipated.
  9. The Joker: Pros: Finding humor in the darkest of times, the joker uses laughter as a coping mechanism. Quick-witted and always ready with a quip, they lighten the mood in the midst of chaos. Cons: Might not be taken seriously in critical situations. Also, not everyone appreciates a stand-up routine when zombies are at the door.
  10. The Strategist: Pros: Master of tactics and planning, the strategist calculates every move. From fortifying a shelter to orchestrating a coordinated attack on a nest of mutants, this mindset is all about outsmarting the apocalypse. Cons: Sometimes, overthinking can lead to missed opportunities. Flexibility is key, and the best-laid plans might need a few improvisations along the way.

There you have it – a light-hearted exploration of post-apocalyptic mindsets. Whether you’re cracking jokes in the face of mutants or meticulously planning your nomadic journey, remember that the key to surviving the end is a healthy dose of confidence, a pinch of humor, and the flexibility to adapt to whatever the wasteland throws your way. So, choose your mindset, embrace the madness, and swagger into the post-apocalyptic sunset with the confidence of someone who knows that, no matter what, the adventure is just beginning. Happy survival, wasteland wanderers!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a tradition celebrated by many cultures around the world. The third Thursday in November is the one I’m most accustomed to here in America.

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We thank the pilgrims and the settlers for braving the ocean and slaughtering the Native Americans so we could eventually build the shopping malls we camp out in front of the morning after so we can get the best sale prices.

We also thank the Native Americans for being so easily to betray and murder so we could feel bad enough about it to force our children to act out plays reminding us of that time we[1. By “we” I mean white people who go back generations. My people haven’t oppressed, enslaved, or exterminated anyone.] shouldn’t have done that thing.

In the post apocalypse, I propose we hold fast to the tradition of a big, important holiday focused around being thankful for what we have.

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Imagine the laundry list of things you’d be thankful for in the post apocalypse if you had the chance to stop and be thankful. Life for instance. Food to sustain that life. Shelter to protect that life. People who are also alive to share that food, shelter, and safety with.

But an annual Thanksgiving won’t cut it in the post apocalypse. An entire YEAR on the run from zombies or poachers or robots?! That’s when you’re truly thankful I’m sure. That’s when you start to think, “Shit, this is really possible!”

Personally, I think every post apocalypse party or team needs an eternal optimist. I have a set of cousins-in-law who are like this. They celebrate everything. They look forward to everything.

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They’re the smiley-est, most pleased, positive thinkers I’ve ever met.

I sounds insufferable to some– it sounds insufferable to me– but unless you can match their optimism in pessimism it’s infectious and before you know it you’re happy too. Unlike them, you might not know what you’re happy about but you just feel better.

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This is the kind of infection you want running rampant in the apocalypse. You’ll want someone who’ll stop everyone in their tracks and say, “Hey! We just crossed  a border let’s make up a border dance and thank everyone on Team Awesome for getting us here!”

Maybe weekly or on a per-milestone basis, in the post apocalypse, we need to ensure to give thanks as freely as we run for our lives.