Step one to survival is being prepared for the worst before having to actually survive the worst. Some might say one of the worst consequences of sex is pregnancy. Fortunately, birth control exists to prevent pregnancy– If you’re prepared.
All of the many forms of birth control seek to accomplish the same goal: prevent pregnancy before it happens.
Some methods are for use before sex. Some for use after; and a few for use during sex. Regardless of the method, it’s imperative to have a plan if your plan isn’t to make a baby.
Planned Parenthood does a fantastic job outlining the many birth control options the world currently has to offer. They even offer a handy quiz to help you determine what the best method might be for you.
The Pill or condoms might be a great option while we’re living in the current state of things and shit has yet to hit the fan. However, after an apocalyptic event, while we’re seeking comfort in the private parts of others, The Morning After pill might be the best option. Continue reading “Let's Talk about Sex… and Birth Control.”
Sure, pregnancy is like the miracle of life or some nonsense (until the machines perfect their way of making more humans…) But unlike being pregnant, I kind of want an apocalypse. I wouldn’t have to go to work. I’m chubby so I don’t expect to be anybody’s sex slave. I could rough it if I had to – if I HAD to. I wouldn’t hate having to spend some quality time locked in a mall playing dress up and sniping zombies from the roof.
All these things sound perfectly acceptable to me—possibly awesome.
However, in a post-apocalyptic world my first stop would be CVS. Well, first a bookstore or library where I’d get a book about drugs, because fokklsncindine doesn’t mean shit to me. (Maybe I should just learn that mess in the present, just in case.) Then I head to the drug store to grab the basics like antibiotics and penicillin and THE PILL. Continue reading “Pregnancy is Worse Than The Apocalypse”
So, when the power goes out and the liquor has run down, someone might get horny.
This brings me back to that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine’s favorite contraceptive is discontinued and she goes out and buys as much of it as she can. But then she rations it. She judges men more carefully and while she might like a guy, she also has to determine if they’re truly “sponge worthy.”
We must remember to invest in some of our baser needs to stave off maddness. But we can’t just start doing every Tom, Dick, and Harry who offers a leer because it’s good for our state of minds. That’s how you create Super Aids, Syphilmidia, and Babies. We need to be able to indulge and ration.
Solution: Invest in an Emergency Sex Kit. Continue reading “Survival Sex Kit (not safe for some works)”