Frank Castle, known throughout New York City as “the Punisher” after exacting revenge on those responsible for the death of his family, uncovers a larger conspiracy beyond what was done to him and his family.
In case you didn’t know about the Frank ‘The Punisher’ Castle, season one – episode one opens with Frank finishing up his murder spree of the Mexicans (long-range rifle) and the Kitchen Irish (bludgeoning).
After that, it’s six months later and Frank is wearing a beard and beating a wall to death with a sledgehammer. His coworkers think the savant with the sledgehammer is mentally handicapped or something… unfortunately, none of them guessed he might be a well-conditioned psychotic.
New on the job is Donny a young and idealistic construction worker who just wants to be loved. The rest of the crew is mainly made up of school-yard bullies who really hate Frank’s (now going by Pete Castiglione and Fran is supposed to be dead) work ethic because they really love overtime.
Donny tries to buddy up to Pete with stories about his dead parents, including a father who served in the Marines, and an ailing Grandmother who makes great sandwiches. Pete summarily shuts down Donny’s attempt to befriend him.
Emotionally needy, Donny turns to the bullies and follows them around like a lost lamb. After tricking him into buying almost $350 worth of drinks at a local bar they, for some strange reason, invite Donny to pull a heist with them. For even less clear reasons, Donny agrees to join them in robbing an underground card game run by gangsters. As expected, he fucks it up beautifully: BY DROPPING HIS WALLET—OPEN TO HIS DRIVER’S LICENSE.
Meanwhile, Castle can’t sleep because he’s haunted by recurring nightmares of that time his family was murdered in his face. He, like anyone, decides that if he can’t sleep he should go to work at 3 AM and whack at that wall he hates with that hammer he loves.
Super pissed, as expected, the bullies decide Donny needs to die… At the construction site where they all work. Strongly disagreeing with this turn of events, Donny runs for his life and then puts up the saddest of sad fights for his life. Donny gets tossed off the roof into pouring cement.
Frank feels now he should intervene and suggests the bullies turn off the cement machine. They decline.
He bludgeons everyone to death with his hammer, asks Donny about the club they robbed, tosses Donny a rope so he can save his own dumb ass. At the end of the rope is the bag of money with a note written in blood suggesting Donny, “LEAVE TOWN.”
Because no one likes loose ends, Frank goes to the club where the gangsters are planning to follow-up with their assailants, firstly the self-identified Donny Chavez. He kills them all and then twists the main guy’s arm so he shoots himself with his own gun. Ta-da: Murder-suicide!
Jon Bernthal as Pete Castiglione / Frank Castle / Punisher
Deborah Ann Woll as Karen Page (from Daredevil)
Ebon Moss-Bachrach as David Lieberman / Micro
Jaime Ray Newman as Sarah Lieberman
Ben Barnes as Billy Russo
Jason R. Moore as Curtis Hoyle (the Black Friend)
Clancy Brown as Ray Schoonover
Amber Rose Revah as AgentDinah Madani
Michael Nathanson as Jr. AgentSam Stein
Paul Schulze as William Rawlins
Daniel Webber as Lewis Wilson
Shohreh Aghdashloo as Farah Madani
Step one to survival is being prepared for the worst before having to actually survive the worst. Some might say one of the worst consequences of sex is pregnancy. Fortunately, birth control exists to prevent pregnancy– If you’re prepared.
All of the many forms of birth control seek to accomplish the same goal: prevent pregnancy before it happens.
Some methods are for use before sex. Some for use after; and a few for use during sex. Regardless of the method, it’s imperative to have a plan if your plan isn’t to make a baby.
Planned Parenthood does a fantastic job outlining the many birth control options the world currently has to offer. They even offer a handy quiz to help you determine what the best method might be for you.
The Pill or condoms might be a great option while we’re living in the current state of things and shit has yet to hit the fan. However, after an apocalyptic event, while we’re seeking comfort in the private parts of others, The Morning After pill might be the best option. Continue reading “Let's Talk about Sex… and Birth Control.”
I was always a “tender headed” child. That is, I cried when I got my hair combed.
I don’t remember when my mother[1. My mom is awesome and I love her to pieces and wouldn’t trade her for anything or anyone. She’s super nice and when the car dealer tried to screw me I called her to straighten them out– and she did. She’s wonderful and inspiring and shit at doing hair. She gets her’s done at a salon(not black) every weekend.] started relaxing my hair. I remember that it was probably, in part at least, my fault. At least once a week, getting my hair combed was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It was exhausting for our whole family. Continue reading “Super Growth Hair Story!”
I recently got kittened. My new pets spent the last two months turning my life and my house upside down. They’re wonderful little weirdos, and I love them more than I love most people. Which is why I will go out of my way to save my pets in the event of an apocalypse, while leaving you to die in the dust.
The problem is that this choice doesn’t really go along with my reputation of ‘super-together, hard-hearted practical survivor’, so I’ve been wracking my brain to think of at least semi-logical reasons for this choice. To, you know, justify it to the people who think they’re better survivalists than me because they’ve genuinely shut down all their ‘give-a-shit’ parts, even though that just makes them a dangerous sociopath.
So here are my totally-logical-not-based-on-loving-the-tiny-squeebles-enough-to-explode reasons to keep your pets post-apocalypse.
Oh, and I’m going to put pictures of my cats in this post. You have been warned. Continue reading “Should I take my pets?”
With Valentine’s Day being last week and my post about the Love Machine app going up last Wednesday, I’ve been thinking about love and romance and relationships and all that other sappy stuff. And seriously, it’s hard enough keeping up with the romance now, in the pre-apocalypse, when we still have Hallmark and Godiva chocolates for those moments when we screw up.
It’s going to be really hard in the post apocalypse, when we won’t have any of those romantic crutches to help us out. So what are we to do?
I’m going to move forward from here assuming that you’ve already covered the basics. That is, you’ve found a love interest, you’ve gone on your first date, and you’re maintaining a healthy relationship. If you’re not doing these things, then this post can’t really help you, because chances are you don’t have a romance to keep alive. (Of course, I could be wrong, but that’s the general assumption.) Continue reading “Keeping the (post-apocalyptic) romance alive”
In most of the western world romantic love is the ideal. From day one we are told it will conquer all, that there is a specific kind of ‘true’ love that overwhelms all obstacles and ensures your safety and happiness. This is a lie. Love exists, but a happy and successful relationship post-apocalypse will need a lot more than just love. I decided to talk about how to keep yourself- and your relationship- alive and healthy in the hellish future.
Lets talk for a bit about the sort of love we’re told to expect by the media. This love is wild, dramatic. It happens when two people who seem to really dislike each other meet in a stressful circumstance. Regardless of how incompatible they are, they fall in love, which makes it great. Because that totally works in real life. If you’ve had more than one or two relationships I shouldn’t need to tell you this is nonsense. That kind of ‘love’ rarely lasts, and is rarely healthy or supportive when it does. More to the point, if required to survive, it will get you killed.
Picture this. You are hunting for food. Just you and your lover. Awww. But you disagree on which way to go! Your hollywood-approved belligerent sexual tension means you argue, and snipe at each other over which way to go. You’re distracted- so distracted you don’t hear the threat sneaking up on you. BAM. You’re now slaves to a set of raiders. How could you have solved this? Well, several ways, but for the purposes of this post we’ll talk about the ideal Apocalypse survival relationship skills. Continue reading “Maintaining a healthy relationship post-apocalypse”