A while ago I resolved to learn a number of skills to help me feel more likely to survive and less likely to have nightmares about survival situations. This weekend I followed through with two items on that list: First Aid and CPR.
#8. YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO PERFORM CPR | #30. YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO PERFORM BASIC FIRST AID.
I did it! I learned CPR and First Aid. I could save an adult, child or an infant if I needed to. The training was a little pricey but it was really straightforward and easy. it The online portion brokedown the step in such a way that I was forced to learn the information.
I’d compare the teaching method to an earworm or “The Song that Never Ends.” You have no choice but to learn and retain the information.
Because I am basically an advertiser’s dream audience member, you are safe in my hands. Babies, children, and grown folks can be rescued by me.
I will assess your situation, get some form of consent, ask you a number of questions, direct someone to call 911 and get me a First Aid kit (and an AED if available).
Before this training, I didn’t know what an AED was much less how to use one. It’s an unreasonably expensive portable defibrillator that is hella clutch in case of someone needing shocks. My favorite part is that when it tells you to do CPR it kind of gives you a beat you set your compressions to and tells you how much time has passed. I get tired and confused really easily, especially in stressful situations.
Some CPR and First Aid Highlights
Check. Call. Care.
Check to see if the person is okay and actually needs help.
Call 9-1-1 (by sending someone to call 9-1-1 and return with the First Aid kit and AED.
Care for the person as needed.
Act F.A.S.T. if you think it’s a Stroke
Face: does their face look symmetrical or is it drooping on one side?
Arm: are they experiencing weakness in one arm (ask them to lift both arms in parallel.
Speech: Do they slur a basic statement like, “The sky is blue.”
Time: Call 9-1-1 as soon as you notice ANY of the above signs and tell them when the symptoms first started.
These are CPR Dimensions… Kind of. If you’re alone with someone and need to do CPR, do 30 chest compressions the two rescue breaths for two minutes before putting them in the recovery position and leaving to go get help.
If you’re on the fence or tight on cash, you can always check out the great participant materials from The Red Cross.
For example, this Wilderness and Remote First Aid guide might come in helpful post-apocalypse… or if you’re just over society and bail to go live in the woods.
So, if you come around me, feel free to choke or fall or pass out. I got you. I know CPR and First Aid and stuff.
Learning a language is a hard but important undertaking. I’m constantly starting and then forgetting to finish courses on DuoLingo. Hopefully, Giant Baby Zombies is the answer.
Giant Baby Zombies is a game that forces you to learn a language to beat it and save the world. Appealing to our sense of vanity might be the answer to forcing growth and development.
Maybe if the future of the world depends remembering the difference between camisa and comida people might be able to commit.
Zombies, Run was able to convince me to stay active because of an interesting apocalyptic story (and making me feel important). Maybe Wise Punch Games’ Giant Baby Zombies can get me to exercise my mind. Just the title is getting my imagination going… that’s part of the mind.
While language is important now, it will be will become especially relevant when navigating the post-apocalyptic world.
Giant Baby Zombies will launch around New Year’s Resolution season in 2018.
A batch of contaminated vaccines shipped to major cities around the world has led to an outbreak of Giant Baby Zombies. But not all is lost, their humanity can be restored. Your biggest challenge, as a military programmer, is operating an 1960’s supercomputer in a language you do not know how to speak yet. Launch state-of-the-art audio rockets that contain de-zombifying chemicals, and most importantly an 8-track cassette tape of a local language, recognized by the Giant Baby Zombies. What will you choose to learn? Japanese, Chinese, Irish, Spanish, Filipino, or English?
Name: Giant Baby Zombies
Release date: Early 2018
Platform: PC and Apple Mac on Steam
Studying a humanities degree adds almost nothing to your post apocalyptic survival chances. An appreciation of poetry, understanding dissent in terms of music or achitecture, or plans to take it into English later on, do absolutely nothing to defend you against psychotic robots. Also not great, is the way that studying as an adult student takes away time and resources from obsessive planning. £700 of money that could have gone to buying a gasmask and filters spent on furthering my education! 15 hours a week that could be spent on practicing how to get out of the house quick gone on learning about Pugin!
However, I am a big believer that nearly ANYTHING can be manipulated into working for you post apocalypse (yes, even you, you socially-awkward, self-righteous neckbeard; post apocalypse you may actually be as important as you pretend you are!)
It’s just knowing how to swing it.
Continue reading “Nothing is useless (except learning Klingon)”