Free Hellevator Rides to Adorable Boss Battles

It’s no secret that I have an obsession with adorable violence. Therefore, no one will be surprised by my response to Hellevator: Ohmigawd, Yes!

Unfortunately, there isn’t a ton of information about Hellevator aside from the overview and download link. However, there is also a handy trailer and a cheeky little write-up.


Dark Souls crushing your soul? Needing a cute hit but craving that spooky-grim vibe? Hellevator has you covered!

Hellevator | Lil Death | Scope it Down Studios
Hellevator | Lil Death | Scope it Down Studios

Hellevator teams you up with the Devil himself in a ‘boss rush’ style game to escape the Circles of Hell. As the only son of the Grim Reaper, you must combine your strength with Lucifer’s and face the denizen of each level in a fast-paced, dark-fantasy boss rush game.
Oh, and an elevator is involved.
Experience the thrill of successive boss battles without the grinding to reach them. Slash, block and dodge your way to freedom, and experience the charming 3D underworld of Hellevator for yourself.

Continue reading “Free Hellevator Rides to Adorable Boss Battles”

REVIEW: Awakening #1 (Archaia)

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Awakening, like all zombie stories, starts the same way. Someone notices that something isn’t right and  they either ignore it or try to do something about it. They tell someone who’s skeptical and then, suddenly, it’s undeniable.
However, in Awakening there’s no suddenly. The build is slow and magnified by the artwork. It’s hard to tell what you’re seeing, just as it’s hard to tell what’s really happening in the city of Park Falls.
The art is some beautiful hybrid between sketching and collage. At first I thought it was messy, but then I realized it was like a good score or well dome lighting in a movie. My inability to fully see detail in Awakening enhanced my experience of the story. Much like the artwork in 30 Days of Night.
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But the artwork isn’t Awakening’s only selling point. The ground felt familiar but not over done. The story doesn’t jump straight from confusion to panic. The only person (aside from the post-omnipotent narrator) who believes the increase in murders in Park Falls is due to anything aside from bad days is a crazy ex-scientist who runs around in a surgical mask…
There’s room for this type of character because of the slow build and the the fact that the rest of the world isn’t yet in on the new world order. There’s no prepping or fighting. It’s all suspicion and finger pointing.
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The detectives are trying to solve the murders, the crazy lady is trying to convince our protagonist she’s a reliable source and our protagonist just wants to go about his day like the sky was secure.
Park Falls calls in a specialist and there might be a little less skepticism going around.
The first issue of Awakening is free on ComiXology. Subsequent issues are are $1.99.
[rating:4/5]

Dead Rising 2 was free with XBox Gold

screenlg4Microsoft started giving out games to Gold subscribers twice monthly and one of the games in August was Dead Rising 2. Well that sounds like all my favorite things: zombies, action, video games, and FREE.
I downloaded the game and booted up. I was immediately confused. Apparently all this shit went down with a zombie apocalypse and and then it was solved (mostly). People built strong walls and made a serum for people who get bitten so they don’t turn.
My character was this dude who people knew of and has a patchy history and a dead wife. He in this entertainment competition whee he rides a motorbike and does tricks and fights captive zombies. This is kind of the into and tutorial.
screenlg1SUDDENLY, all hell breaks loose and there are zombies everywhere. Ohnoes. Now I have to beat my way through the throngs of zombies and rescue my child who’s waiting patiently backstage. Gah, I hate having to escort children and stuff.
So you have weapons that you pick up wherever like a guitar or an axe or a broom. The more you use a weapon the more it wears until it actually breaks. You’re charged with grabbing your baby and making you way out of the arena to safety. Apparently I was also supposed to be saving some other people along the way… oops. I’m so bad at additional objectives.
I get outside and run around a bit until I find a safe place because there are just fallout shelter kind of places scattered around just in case something like this happens. I don’t know if it was a cut scene or what but they’re totally blamng me for the invasion in the arena. People totally think I’m a terrorist. Rude. I’m under the impression I had nothing to do with it.
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After a lot of back and forth the people running the shelter are like, “Ew your daughter is bitten. Leave her outside.” And I’m like, don;t worry about it. I’ve got
medicine even though I totally don’t.
Now I have to go find medicine. Guy runs through the the shelter until he finds a secret exit that leads to the mall. In a backroom of the mall the is a place to craft weapons (if you find a key) and  a place to  get into the real mall.
In the mall you have to fight your way to the pharmacy and  get the medicine in time to get back to  the daughter. Ugh, timed missions are the worst. Especially when  you’re allowed to detour and try on clothes in the  stores. Yes, you can play dress up and use random objects as weapons. I personally liked the skateboard.
screenlg6Dead Rising 2 felt a little chaotic to me. There were almost too many options. I could run around killing zombies or trying on clothes or doing the mission or exploring the places or playing the slot machines (Yeah, those were there too.)
Normally, I love having options and feeling like a game has an open world but this felt falsely open. If you did too much of one thing then the other things pop up and kept you forcefully on track. Also, I don’t know if it’s because Dead Rising 2 is older but I felt the controls were clunky and not as accurate or responsive as they should be. In a hordes of zombies situation I don’t want to deal with clunky controls!
It was hard to tell if it was a serious game (there’s a dying little girl I’m responsible for) or just a silly game (I can wear costumes and use toys as weapons….
I got frustrated and bored and because it was free I didn’t feel like I was wasting anything by letting it collect virtual dust. Dead Rising 2 was good enough for the price but not good enough for me to  play through. Le sigh.

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A Thug in Time [free app]

A Thug in Time is a new app game coming out for Android and iOS on July 16th featuering violence, the destruction of the human race, and more violence.
We can all agree that humans aren’t the most awesome end-users. Imagine you were the one of the creators the world and popped in to check out how it’s all been progressing. You might be pissed, and like those creators in A Thug in Time you might feel moved to just scrap it all.

A Thug in Time is a free app for iOS and Android and features:

  • Decapitate, freeze, burn as well as riddle with bullet and laser fire your enemies using more than 35 weapons
  • Battle through 65 levels set in four time periods: Viking-Age, Wild West, 1930’s mob infested Chicago and modern-day New York
  • Obliterate more than 20 types of unique enemies
  • No death animations, each kill has its own unique physics based reaction
  • Conquer time travel as well as eight bosses and their mini-bosses

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Zombie I Scream (iOS)

I saw an episode of Doomsday Preppers the other day where the family didn’t believe in weapons. One of the guys says, “If bandits come I’ll invite them in and either poison them or cut their throats in their sleep.”
HUWAT!? Yes. I like you. Also, I’ve found the perfect game for you. Zombie I Scream by Thefty Jack LLC.
No, Zombie I Scream isn’t about grinding zombies up and turning them into ice cream. It’s about a non-violent solution to a violent problem.
Much like the colonists gave smallpox blankets to the Native Americans the player in Zombie I Scream will give unsuspecting zombies ice cream cones specially designed to end their lives. FUN!
It actually looks really cute and it’s rare that someone finds a new approach to a fairly straight forward genre on a limited interface.
Zombie I Scream (like many of the original colonists) is set in Boston and features many of the city’s famous locations as levels.
Continue reading “Zombie I Scream (iOS)”

Review: Hawken: Genesis (Archaia)

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Hawken: Genesis (Archaia)answers the question “What’s my motivation?” for payers of Hawken the game.
Hawken by Adhesive Games and Meteor Entertainment is part Total Recall, in that it’s set in a ruined dystopian planet; part my desperate hopes for what Pacific Rim will be, a ridiculous mecha battle royal; and part Gundam where everyone is fighting for or against a team but no one is really right.
But then Hawken: Genesis adds in a heaping helping of Top Gun.
It sounds like chaos on the surface but it’s actually a brilliant premise.
Everyone fled Earth for a brighter future on Illal but their hopes overwhelmed the new planet, destroying it faster than they destroyed Earth. Unfortunately for the poor planet, devastation isn’t enough and they’ve found one more resource to pry from the corps of their new home.
Already in the midst of an inter-corporation world war the citizens now have reason to stay and fight too. Not for honor or freedom but for their own slice of the pie. That is why they came after all.
From the jump, “the Hawken” is mentioned in a laundry list of terrible things that shouldn’t have happened, terrible things that ruined a once optimistic planet. I’m not clear what it is though… But I am curious.
I’m always drawn to a good premise, a well thought out backstory make most things that much more wonderful for me. And when I read the Hawken: Genesis issues put out by Archaia Black Label for the franchise, I was blown away.
Continue reading “Review: Hawken: Genesis (Archaia)”

Watching Falling Skies? There's an App for That.

Falling Skies, the TNT show about fighting back after a devastating alien invasion. The aliens are serious dicks. they don’t just invade and kill us, or harvest us, or even experiment on us. No, they kill the adults and enslave the children with mind-controlling, DNA-altering harnesses.
Falling Skies chronicles the resistance movement, based it the best state in the union– Massachusetts, as they try everything from Molotov Cocktails to diplomacy to take back their planet.
Gritty and dark without making you feel too gritty or dark the show is well worth watching and talking about.
Well, if you’re looking for company or a bit of interactivity while you watch check out the official Falling Skies app available for both iOS and Android.

Open this free app while watching season two of FALLING SKIES and get trivia, polls, behind-the-scenes info and more, all matched up with what you’re seeing on your TV. The app will detect where you are in the program and serve up content to enhance your viewing experience.
And you won’t be alone—there’s a live, in-app chat for each episode, where you can share your own theories and thoughts with your fellow fans.
Be sure to keep the app open after the episode for the official FALLING SKIES post-show, 2ND WATCH, hosted by Wil Wheaton!

If you want a bit of extra information about the show and the characters, you can check out the other official Falling Skies app. though I’m not sure why they had to split all this into two apps or how long the utility of an app that’s based on what you can get from other sources like IMDB or Wikipedia or the official website or in other apps will last. But it exists.

The aliens have decimated our planet, but the fight isn’t over yet. Get the inside scoop on the battle for humanity by downloading the Falling Skies App from TNT.
Download the official Falling Skies app to access sneak peek video content, behind-the-scenes videos, cast bios, episode guides, Falling Skies comic book from Dark Horse Comics, full episodes, Falling Skies Facebbok and Twitter, and the 2nd Mass Defense Game App.
Download the app for free and join the fight for our planet’s survival!

So if you don’t feel like doing the leg work to find out more about Falling Skies and have to space to spare on your device, grab one or both of the apps for before, during, and after Falling Skies.

Review: Zombie Granny (Android)

So, Zombie Granny is kind of like Cut the Rope and Angry Birds had a baby and it had a sick morbid sense of humor.

Zombie Granny is not a game to just download and play on a whim. Sure it’s readily available and free[1. Our favorite Price] but it’s also missing a shit ton of images that take like eight years to download. My actual grandma’s make shit happen faster and Ms. Pearl was legally blind and thought my computer was damn near magical.
I found if I don’t let the device snooze and keep touching the phone it update more quickly… good start.
Yay! It finally finished.
My first impression is that it’s kind of a lot like Cut The Rope, but instead of trying to feed the frog candy you’re trying to kill the Zombie Granny with a fireball. Then, a few levels in, I thought it’s kind of like Angry Birds.
So, Zombie Granny is kind of like Cut the Rope and Angry Birds had a baby and it had a sick morbid sense of humor.
The gameplay is fairly simple and easy to get accustomed to, especially since the first few levels are tutorial levels. There’s a fireball attached to a rope and you cut the rope and drop the fireball on the unsuspecting zombie granny below.
While the gameplay is straightforward the concept kind of bothers me. Where’s my motivation? This poor old lady is just standing about, not even trying to munch on my brains and I just murder her like it a terrorist.
Next weird conceptual thing? Why are there fireballs just suspended from here and there? This isn’t even like a Mario dungeon level where the fireball are swinging around like traps and trying to impede your progress. These are like decorations.
Morals and logic aside, this is after all just a mobile phone game, the graphics are great and it’s super cute and wonderfully simple. This is a fun little zombie game with just the right about of snark and morbid nonsense to keep you entertained on a long commute or wait in a lobby.
[rating:3.5/5]
I’d let Zombie Granny live– at least until the water got low or she started to stink up the place.
 

Dark Horse Extends Free Comic Book Day Through the End of May

Did you miss out on Free Comic Book Day this past Saturday? If you did, you also missed out on the Buffy/ The Guild preview (?) issue and the Star Wars/Serenity one-shots offered by Dark Horse. That’s sad.
You missed the space pirates, bandits, aliens, and heroes. You missed out on high-flying hijinks, and intergalactic world  universe saving awesomeness.
Lucky for you Dark Horse, specifically, Dark Horse Digital are nice people (is a nice person? cares about their readers’ happy feelings to sadness ratio?). Over in the “free” section of the digital.darkhorse.com website you’ll be able to read or download their Free Comic Book Day comics for the rest of the month of May. All you need is a free account and you’re on your way to slacking like a professional at work or number munching your monthly data allotment. Continue reading “Dark Horse Extends Free Comic Book Day Through the End of May”

Kill 'em With… Cards? | Zombie Jombie (iOS)

Zombie Jombie is a new iOS game launching today from GREE. The well designed (artistically speaking) game sounds like a unique and interesting butload of fun:

The ultimate weapons – ZOMBIES – are under your control! In this twist of events, the zombies are finally the good guys, and now they are yours to use in battle against the nastiest humans around! As a Jombie (one who can control zombies), the fate of the planet is in your hands as you defend city invasions by evil bosses who will stop at nothing to achieve total global domination.

That sounds awesome! And the zombies are cartooney but not lame. Then I read on:

This new iOS-exclusive title is a free-to-play card-based game that invites players to harness the power of the undead using a powerful deck of zombie cards while defending the earth from evil humans hell-bent on destruction. Offering a series of social features including the ability to trade cards and play with or against friends, Zombie Jombie takes an unconventional approach to the zombie genre and brings a new type of gameplay to mobile gaming.
In Zombie Jombie, players battle tough human bosses and complete quests in major U.S. cities as a “Jombie” – a powerful being with a unique ability to raise and control zombies. To accomplish these tasks, players build and customize their own distinctive deck of cards by trading with friends, fusing multiple cards together, and opening treasure chests that unlock special content. Because of the variety of ways players can upgrade and power-up their card decks, each Zombie Jombie player will have an exclusive experience. Zombie Jombie  will also have on-going content updates offering new game features and aiming to continuously enhance the player experience.

It sounds like the best idea for a game combined with the worst type of gameplay. People in asylums or old folks homes, or stranded without power, or using Windows 95 play card games by themselves. Sure, there’s Magic the Gathering and Munchkin ect. but you play those with people and for hours.

I’m going to have to check it out, because even though it sound a bit awful , it looks really fun and cute and silly and new and different… and it’s FREE!
Find out more on GREE’s website[1. Do you think GREE rhymes with free intentionally?].