The end of the world: There's a magazine for that

Last week I was putzing around Target shopping for clothes for my kids. I took a detour through the books and magazines because this is what I do every shopping trip. I don’t normally find anything–local stores never carry the magazines I want to read (Discover, Astronomy, that sort of thing) and I’m a digital reader (I love my Kindle) so I don’t get many paperbacks.
But THIS time, I struck gold. And because I’m always thinking about the apocalypse in some form or another (usually because I’m looking for possible topics to write about), my brain somehow found this one magazine, even though it was sitting in the back of the stacks.
It’s called 2012 End of the World.
I kid you not.
I’m still trying to find ways to show you guys pictures without getting a copyright violation suit slapped on me and ICoS, so you’ll have to wait a bit for screenshots. I was thinking of doing an end-times collage (using images from this and other magazines)…would that be a copyright violation? It would be a piece of art (and I use the term “art” loosely).
Anyway. I’m going to give you an overview of the magazine. And, you know, review it. Because I read this shit so you don’t have to.
WARNING: HERE BE SNARKERY. AND LENGTH.
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Apocalypse maybe: 2012 arrives

Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2012!
Now, we all know that 2012 will be a banner year for apocalypse theorists, conspiracy theorists, paranoid freaks, not-so-paranoid freaks, paranoid non-freaks, and, well, you get the idea.
Unfortunately for everyone who wants to see the world explode on December 21, NASA has debunked all the (popular) apocalypse predictions. Not that that will stop any of them from proclaiming the end is near, but hey, at least you’ve got yet another article in your arsenal when you point out why they really need to quit buying all those cans of Spam. In case you want to get into an argument with any of the doomsday types, that is. (Personally, I don’t. It just gives me a headache.)
We’re going to be hearing a lot from the conspiracy/apocalypse theorists, and they’re likely going to be talking about the same thing. For a quick recap on what they’re probably going to be talking about, here’s a list of the most popular doomsday predictions.
(Warning: Contains more silliness than usual.)
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Skills you'll need in the post apocalypse

A couple weeks ago, Ann wrote about post apocalyptic jobs. To do any job well, you’ll need a certain skill set. (Well, in theory, anyway.) Which is great for people who, you know, have skills that translate well in the post apocalypse. So people who have speed and endurance, people who can live in the wilderness of wherever for unknown lengths of time, people who can cook meals with random ingredients, and people who can break other people in half like twigs will probably have a leg up on everybody else. You know, like the people who sit in front of a computer all day (unless the post apocalypse has a lot of computers in it; in which case, there might be hope for me).
But let’s think about our individual (present) skills for a moment, shall we? Why? Well, because these are the skills that we’ll take with us into the post apocalypse, should the apocalypse happen tomorrow, next week, or December 21, 2012.
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What does your apocalypse look like?

I have no idea how I missed this, but apparently, the biblical Judgment Day (a.k.a. The Rapture) will occur on May 21, 2011. That’s right. The Rapture will happen THIS SATURDAY. The world will end (by fire) five months later, on October 21.
Well, according to some people. But that’s not the point.
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