Post-apocalyptic pregnancy: A basic primer

In the early post-apocalyptic days, it might seem ridiculous to think about having children. But you’re going to have to think about it at some point. If you don’t have kids, the human race is doomed anyway, so what would’ve been the point of surviving the apocalypse?
So. Babies. I’m going to skip over the mechanics of actually making them (pretty sure we all know how that works). Instead, I’m going to focus on the nine-month flu and the painful act of trying to rip a watermelon out of a peanut. Since there’s a lot of material to cover, I’ll split them into two posts. This week, I’ll be talking about the post-apocalyptic pregnancy.
Caveat: I am not a medical professional, midwife, or a doula. I am, however, the mother of two, for whatever that’s worth.
Ready? Let’s begin.
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The evolution of religion

We all know that things will change in the post apocalypse. Even if you’re living under a rock, that rock is going to change (and possibly disintegrate) after the world ends. Aspects of our lives will change. Politics, social structures—all that will change. And…religion will change too. (Possibly not for the better.)
You might be wondering why I’m thinking about religion. It’s because I’m currently taking a religious studies class, which is, unfortunately, full of the ultra-super-conservative types. Also unfortunately, they are driving me freaking insane. And even more unfortunately, it’s only been a week.
Since I had to…I don’t know, share my not-so ultra-super-conservative views with someone, I bugged Ann on Google Talk this morning. Not so she could feel the pain with me (though misery does love company), but so we could discuss how religion might evolve in a post-apocalyptic society.
Because we love you, dear readers, here is an excerpted (and grammatically cleaned up) version of our chat.
*Warning: The following conversation may be considered controversial. But that’s kinda the point.*
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A clumsy girl's guide to surviving the apocalypse.

I have recently been talking a lot with fellow Apocalypse obsessive and friend of ICoS, Jess Shanahan. You may remember her from this guest post, and if you saw it, my guest post over at her blog. Anyway, Jess is very like me. We even live nearby, and as a result have started Apocalypse training (running) together.
One major thing we have in common is this: we are very clumsy girls. I can fall over myself, if nothing else is there to trip me up. I have succesfully become injured after spending a whole day in ed in my pyjamas. I got out to go the the loo, wrapped myself in my sheets by accident, and nearly brained myself on the chest of drawers. It’s not normal clumsiness: It’s the type that gets you killed. I mentioned this to Jess, and she said that running outside was clearly a danger to us, as we’d get chased by murderers and trip on a tree root and die, and I thought two things. The first thought was thank FUCK someone else out there is as insane as I am; The second was- with this lethal level of clumsiness, how are we going to survive the apocalypse?
It would be sods law if after all this preparation I died because I tripped over a shoelace.
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Post-Apocalyptic Graphic Novels (Comics): Y The Last Man

*This whole post contains spoilers for most of Volume 1 of Y: The Last Man*

In Y: The Last Man Yorick is the last man alive on Earth after a random, sudden thing kills all the men in all the world, and shit if I don’t wish he’d just kill himself so those poor women could just wither in peace.
Never before have I been so against a protagonist’s survival. He’s so dumb in a gross know-it-all way that I want him to get shot by the heavily stereotyped Republicans’ wives. I want his poor monkey, Ampersand, to run away and maybe be the father of a new human-monkey hybrid species of the future. I want anything but for stupid Yorick to continue being a walking, preachy, tropey, asshole.
Frist there’s: “Wahh, I’m in love and that’s important.”
Then he’s all: “You women need to band together and act like civilized last people alive and do our forefathers proud.”
(Lady President promptly shut him up saying: “These women have suffered more than you can imagine. They don’t deserve to be lectured by a self-righteous child.[1. That, unlike the others, is actually a direct quote from issue #3]”)
Then he’s like: “I get that people are actively trying to kill me but I don’t want to hide from them. They’re just angry women. Is that a bear? Let’s poke it with this stick to check.”
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Post-apocalyptic Politics: The Death Penalty


I’m going to continue Char and ann’s death talk trend this week. Especially since just yesterday I had to extinguish a life for crossing me wrong.
Now, mind you, this life was attached to a spider who’d mistakenly made its way into my bag and probably couldn’t have gotten out if it wanted to. But it was huge and aggressive looking and in MY bag. Spiders can do as they please in the great outdoors but in my bag, in an office building, in the city? You’re gonna die.
This minor infraction[1. To some people who give a shit about spiders and don’t mind reaching blindly into their dark bag to reach back out with a meaty little eight legged monster attached to their arm.], a wrong turn in the wrong neighborhood, resulted in Devil Spider’s vilification and eventual death. Would I have done the same if I had the means and found someone trespassing in my safe spot whilst trying to survive?[2. Not likely. Maybe. Hard to say, really.]
In survival situations we know there will be non-mutated predators simply out to take advantage of those weaker than they are, and we know there will be times when we’ll have to weigh the value of someone else’s life against “the greater good.” But when it comes to consequences for crimes and trespasses against us, how do we determine severity.
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Is it murder or euthanasia?

So. The apocalypse has happened. You and your family—and maybe your friends—have survived the initial apocalyptic event, whatever it happens to be. Now your little group has moved into survival stage. Everyone does what they can to help, to make sure you all make it through the chaos alive.
That’s great, right? Everybody pitches in, and you’ll all live to tell the grandkids what it was like when the world exploded and everybody died (at least until the zombies came knocking).
But what if not everyone in your group can contribute? What if someone’s severely injured, or has a pre-existing debilitating condition like cancer or Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s or epilepsy? Will that person survive for long? Can that person survive for long?
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Steampunk, The Apocalypse and You

In honor of anninyn being away on some steampunk adventure business, I bring you steampunk finds for post-apocalyptic life!

Thing one

An amazeballs free guide to apocalyptic living steampunk style from the talented folks at steampunk magazine. This 56-page guide covers water filtration and storage, assessing your surroundings, self defense, an overview of contagions and much more.

 
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The apocalypse: a sudden apocalyptic event or a slow decline?

I generally think about the apocalypse happening in one sudden apocalyptic event that takes everyone by surprise. But what if it doesn’t happen that way? What if the apocalypse is a slow, years-long decline? After all, in some ways, the fall of the Roman Empire could be considered an apocalyptic event. And the empire’s decline took a long time, since it technically didn’t fall until Constantinople fell in 1453 (though, okay, the Western Roman Empire was in serious decline and almost completely taken over by Germanic tribes by the end of the 5th century).
Anyway. A slow decline or a sudden event—what’s better? Personally, I don’t know. They’ve each got their pros and cons. Let’s go over them quickly, so we can all secretly hope for one kind over the other.
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Your apocalypse survival starter kit

I live in a hurricane zone. Which is fun and all–at least, until a hurricane actually hits. I wasn’t affected by Hurricane Irene, and the only thing we got from Tropical Storm Lee was a bunch of wind and some (much-needed) rain.
So far, we’ve been pretty lucky that way. (Of course, the season’s not over yet.)
With the recent evacuation of much of the American Eastern Seaboard, I thought about my family’s own hurricane evaluation plan. You know, just in case we need it. It didn’t take long to think about, since we don’t actually have a plan in place. (Which will most certainly bite us in the ass should we actually need to run far away from an angry mass of hurricane.)
But that’s beside the point. (And a scenario to which my procrastinating self says, “I’ll cross that washed-out bridge when I get to it.”)
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Knitting: A post-apocalyptic skill you MUST learn.

I’ve decided to learn how to knit. Not just because I want to make my own bloody scarves, but because I think it will be useful.
Of course, to the people who get a little concerned about me when I start yammering on about the end of the world, I’m pointing out the accepted benefits- it’s relaxing, it keeps your hands busy so you snack less, you get a pretty jumper out of the deal, learning new skills keeps the brain sharp- but as with all things, I’m mainly thinking about it’s usefulness post apocalypse.
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