People You May Meet In Your Post-Apocalyptic Life

In life, any life, before or after an apocalypse you meet all kinds of people. The thing with people is they tend to fall into categories. They don’t do it on purpose, in fact they don’t do it themselves, our minds do it to the people we meet. We categorize and stereotype for our safety and to save space in out brains for things like the lyrics to the Ninja Rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

In the future though, when we’ve only got a tenth of our population and don’t know who is friend and who is foe, it will help to be cautious of certain people you meet based on some well worn stereotypes.

You see them in all your study materials [1. read: books, movies, comics, etc.] but never really acknowledge what they mean to you and your survival if they land themselves in you party or in your path on your way to hide in the abandoned mental institutional.

Below is a handy reference guide to some of the people you may meet on the other side of the apocalypse and the issues that may arise from dealing with them [2. Don’t think you are without flaws here! If somehow you’ve gotten to be the leader of this ragtag group, you’re probably arrogant, stubborn and obsessive. You could also get everyone you know killed if you take too many risks — or be killed yourself if you’re too annoying. Watch out.] .

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Child transportation in the post apocalypse

Okay, so, my post last week was a total anomaly. I won’t even link to it :-p. This week’s post also has pictures, but they’re pictures of real things. (No, really, they’re real.)

Let me explain. Last week, Ann asked me if I’d thought about how I’d transport my kids in the post apocalypse. One of her friends has a child who’s roughly the same age as my oldest, and sometimes this child gets tired after walking around for a long time. Because who wouldn’t?

So, then, we thought, how do you transport your kids if they’re too big to carry, but too young/small to have the energy and stamina to walk everywhere? Nowadays we have strollers and such, but will they still be around in the post apocalypse?

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Why The CDC is My Favorite Government Agency

The only thing worse than having a boring job is having a boring job that involves relaying boring information to people who have no interest in your latest report about whatever you’ve been on about in that sad little corner of yours. The CDC is the kid with the rock collection on show-and-tell day.

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Sure there’s loads of facts and “interesting” things you can learn about hand washing, but NASA went to the moon.

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Well, the CDC is taking the gloves off (then carefully washing their hands up to their elbows for 45 seconds) and bring out the pop culture references.

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They realized that zombies are hot right now and hell if that mess isn’t right up their alley.

Infection, plague, contagions, and wide-spread chaos? Jackpot!

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Surviving the winter months.

You live in the west.  You are spoiled and pampered. Trust me. Central heating, hot water, a hospital you can go to if you catch pneumonia. We’re so used to the concept of being able to flip a switch and make heat that when the cost of it goes up we bitch.

It’s not going to exist post apocalypse. At all. Ever.

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The post-apocalyptic new parent

Congratulations! You’ve gotten through the post-apocalyptic pregnancy and survived the post-apocalyptic childbirth. Now, you’re ensconced in your tent, tucked away in the (relative) safety of your survival camp, with your brand-new, adorable tiny human.

By this I mean your brand new, really loud, really demanding, and sometimes not all that adorable tiny human.

We all know babies are loud. They’re also like little divas, since they don’t do anything but demand you cater to their needs. (Though it could be argued that all kids are like this, regardless of their age. Ahem.) They also require a lot of planning.

The next time you’re traipsing through your favorite department store, take a quick walk through the baby department. You see all that stuff? Cribs, diapers, clothing, wipes, strollers, playpens, blah blah blah? Most of that is actually necessary. (Some of it isn’t—I mean, as much fun as it was to plop my kid in a bouncy seat that vibrated and sang lullabies while blinking in a soothing  nightlight pattern, it was also totally ridiculous and completely unnecessary.)

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Post apocalyptic hauntings

Last week I talked about supernatural apocalypses (apocali?) and came to the conclusion that they were just as likely as zombies, if you really push your definitions.

But with ghosts I was stuck. Could ghosts cause an apocalypse? If ghosts exist (and I’ll leave you to your beliefs on that subject if you leave me to mine) would they haunt the world post-apocalypse? I mean, if anything will create ghosts the end of the world will. If ghosts do cause the apocalypse, how on earth will we defend ourselves against them?

I aim to answer these questions today.

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Supernatural Apocalypse

We cover all sorts of apocalypses here at In Case of Survival.

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We aren’t ones to shy away from the unusual, the strange, the just plain weird.

And it’s always struck me as just plain odd that the most commonly talked about and prepared for apocalypse is Zombies, which- no matter how various books try to science it up- has it’s roots in an undeniably supernatural origin.

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So Zombies are fine, (probably because they’ve got huge pop-culture capital right now) but ask any of these same people about other supernatural apocalypses- werewolves, vampires, hell, even ghosts- and they would scoff and called you a ‘fucking fucktard fuck’ because this is the internet.

But if Zombies are possible with a little pseudo-science massage, why not the others?

And what the hell do we do to survive when the cause of the apocalypse is dead and can walk through walls?

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Post-apocalyptic pregnancy: A basic primer

In the early post-apocalyptic days, it might seem ridiculous to think about having children. But you’re going to have to think about it at some point. If you don’t have kids, the human race is doomed anyway, so what would’ve been the point of surviving the apocalypse?

So. Babies. I’m going to skip over the mechanics of actually making them (pretty sure we all know how that works). Instead, I’m going to focus on the nine-month flu and the painful act of trying to rip a watermelon out of a peanut. Since there’s a lot of material to cover, I’ll split them into two posts. This week, I’ll be talking about the post-apocalyptic pregnancy.

Caveat: I am not a medical professional, midwife, or a doula. I am, however, the mother of two, for whatever that’s worth.

Ready? Let’s begin.

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The evolution of religion

We all know that things will change in the post apocalypse. Even if you’re living under a rock, that rock is going to change (and possibly disintegrate) after the world ends. Aspects of our lives will change. Politics, social structures—all that will change. And…religion will change too. (Possibly not for the better.)

You might be wondering why I’m thinking about religion. It’s because I’m currently taking a religious studies class, which is, unfortunately, full of the ultra-super-conservative types. Also unfortunately, they are driving me freaking insane. And even more unfortunately, it’s only been a week.

Since I had to…I don’t know, share my not-so ultra-super-conservative views with someone, I bugged Ann on Google Talk this morning. Not so she could feel the pain with me (though misery does love company), but so we could discuss how religion might evolve in a post-apocalyptic society.

Because we love you, dear readers, here is an excerpted (and grammatically cleaned up) version of our chat.

*Warning: The following conversation may be considered controversial. But that’s kinda the point.*

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