I recently got kittened. My new pets spent the last two months turning my life and my house upside down. They’re wonderful little weirdos, and I love them more than I love most people. Which is why I will go out of my way to save my pets in the event of an apocalypse, while leaving you to die in the dust.
The problem is that this choice doesn’t really go along with my reputation of ‘super-together, hard-hearted practical survivor’, so I’ve been wracking my brain to think of at least semi-logical reasons for this choice. To, you know, justify it to the people who think they’re better survivalists than me because they’ve genuinely shut down all their ‘give-a-shit’ parts, even though that just makes them a dangerous sociopath.
So here are my totally-logical-not-based-on-loving-the-tiny-squeebles-enough-to-explode reasons to keep your pets post-apocalypse.
Oh, and I’m going to put pictures of my cats in this post. You have been warned.
Most domestic pets were originally domesticated because our ancestors had use for them. Whether it’s carrying your stuff, protecting the camp or keeping the vermin down, little Fluffykins can be retrained into being good at it. If you have something like a cat or a bigger dog breed, they’re natural instincts already point them in this direction, so why not make use of your pets?
If you have something weirder, more exotic or one of the super-specialised breeds I don’t know what to tell you.
If you’re alone, you can start to go a bit odd. I work from home, and while I see my husband/at least one other person every day, I’ve still become a strange, filthy hermit. I talk to myself and pace around the house, is where I’m going with this. Sometimes I pretend to be an owl. If you have a pet or pets with you, you can talk to the pet and pretend you aren’t mad.
3: Emergency Food
Better with things like the rabbits. It’s a nasty consideration, but if I’m starving to death… I love them, but I love being alive a tiny bit more, I think? And if it is something like a rabbit, and it’s not been neutered, then they can breed pretty damn fast. Constantly replenishing source of food!
No? Not OK with that? We’ll see how you feel when you’ve missed half a dozen meals. They’d eat you, you know.
To clean the taste of that one out of your mouth, how about this:
4: They keep us human
There’s nothing like a post-apocalyptic world to strip you of your humanity. The desperation alone is enough to destroy your empathy, consideration and kindness.
But our ability to love smaller, weaker creatures so unreservedly, and with such intensity is one of our finest traits. By keeping your pets with you, you could keep a memory of the person you were before, and encourage yourself to rebuild a better, kinder world. Perhaps, after all this justification, the fact that you love them is reason enough.
And Bonny agrees.