Should I take my pets?

By | January 30, 2013

I recently got kittened. My new pets spent the last two months turning my life and my house upside down. They’re wonderful little weirdos, and I love them more than I love most people. Which is why I will go out of my way to save my pets in the event of an apocalypse, while leaving you to die in the dust.

The problem is that this choice doesn’t really go along with my reputation of ‘super-together, hard-hearted practical survivor’, so I’ve been wracking my brain to think of at least semi-logical reasons for this choice. To, you know, justify it to the people who think they’re better survivalists than me because they’ve genuinely shut down all their ‘give-a-shit’ parts, even though that just makes them a dangerous sociopath.

So here are my totally-logical-not-based-on-loving-the-tiny-squeebles-enough-to-explode reasons to keep your pets post-apocalypse.

Oh, and I’m going to put pictures of my cats in this post. You have been warned.

1: Practicality.

Most domestic pets were originally domesticated because our ancestors had use for them. Whether it’s carrying your stuff, protecting the camp or keeping the vermin down, little Fluffykins can be retrained into being good at it. If you have something like a cat or a bigger dog breed, they’re natural instincts already point them in this direction, so why not make use of your pets?

If you have something weirder, more exotic or one of the super-specialised breeds I don’t know what to tell you.

so cute

2: Company

If you’re alone, you can start to go a bit odd. I work from home, and while I see my husband/at least one other person every day,  I’ve still become a strange, filthy hermit. I talk to myself and pace around the house, is where I’m going with this. Sometimes I pretend to be an owl. If you have a pet or pets with you, you can talk to the pet and pretend you aren’t mad.

Shouldercat

3:  Emergency Food

Better with things like the rabbits. It’s a nasty consideration, but if I’m starving to death… I love them, but I love being alive a tiny bit more, I think? And if it is something like a rabbit, and it’s not been neutered, then they can breed pretty damn fast. Constantly replenishing source of food!

No? Not OK with that? We’ll see how you feel when you’ve missed half a dozen meals. They’d eat you, you know.

nomnomnom

To clean the taste of that one out of your mouth, how about this:

4: They keep us human
There’s nothing like a post-apocalyptic world to strip you of your humanity. The desperation alone is enough to destroy your empathy, consideration and kindness.

But our ability to love smaller, weaker creatures so unreservedly, and with such intensity is one of our finest traits. By keeping your pets with you, you could keep a memory of the person you were before, and encourage yourself to rebuild a better, kinder world. Perhaps, after all this justification, the fact that you love them is reason enough.

And Bonny agrees.

Bonny Hoody

4 thoughts on “Should I take my pets?

    1. anninyn Post author

      A: They’re less cute when they revenge-shit on the carpet. But the rest of the time they are the most adorable minicats ever. Best cats.
      b: Yes! So few people understand what real, true isolation can do to your head. Even outright loners usually see and speak to the postman or people online. When there’s not even THAT any more… even just an animal hanging around could give you a bit of company and remind you that you have softer emotions. And that those are good emotions to have.

      Reply
  1. Napoleon Trombonaparte

    As a proud owner of a pit bull, I can attest to their usefulness. People are usually terrified of them, so other humans typically leave you alone. The pit bull is a very sweet tempered dog that is physically durable, but not particularly bright. They combine the brute strength of a bulldog with the natural gaminess of a terrier. They have a hunt-and-destroy mentality when it comes to small animals. Another bonus is their high body temperature. Once you can get over their rather horrible smell, they are better than an electric blanket for sheer warmth.

    Reply
    1. anninyn Post author

      Dogs are easier to justify taking than cats, I think, at least to people who doesn’t think ‘I love them’ is enough justification on it’s own. But if their play is anything to go by, our sweethearts are excellent little hunters. Reduced rodent problems in our compound W00T.

      I’ve never met many pitbulls – they aren’t a popular breed here, and I think they may have been banned, which seems unfair. It’s people who turn them into killers, not the dogs. But my husband is fond of Staffies, for many of the reasons you;ve laid out here. They’re just a little too… enthusiastic…. for me. I can be nervous of dogs.

      Reply

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