Recap: Under the Dome Episode 9

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My apologies for not getting this up earlier. I haven’t been feeling well these past few days so I’m unfortunately behind on many things.

Regular disclaimer: This recap contains spoilers about episode 9 of Under the Dome, titled “The Fourth Hand.” Do not read this post if you have not yet seen the episode and plan to.

Okay. I seriously didn’t think this show could get any worse, but surprise! It has. Honest to Godiva, the WTF level increased exponentially with this episode.

I don’t even know where to begin with this episode. It’s just…wow.

Okay. Well. The episode opens with Julia taking Barbie to see the baby dome in the woods. Only…the baby dome and its resident egg is gone! (Dun dun dun…) Julia gets all Type A and flails around for a bit, telling Barbie she needs to find the dome (and the egg, of course). Then Sheriff Linda radios Barbie and tells him there’s a shooting and he needs to get his ass over to the house because someone’s gotten hurt.

Side note: Does everyone in Chester’s Mill have a gun? Or do they just pass their guns around so there can be a shooting every other week and Linda’s got something to do? Because seriously.

So anyway, Barbie shows up at the location of the shooting where some crazy guy who claims to be hearing voices from the dome has holed up in another guy’s house. The owner of the house shot at the crazy guy, but hit his neighbor instead (crappy aim on that one).

All right then. We already know Chester’s Mill is harboring some serious nutjobs (Junior, anyone?), so I suppose it’s possible that another nutjob has started communicating with the dome. After all, Joe and Norrie have, so why not someone else? Only, it turns out that Crazy Guy doesn’t actually have a direct line to the Great Dome. Instead, he has had a direct line to some new drug called Rapture, and the “had” is a key part in why he’s now a raving lunatic.

Also, Rapture was cooked up by the late Reverend Lester.

Honestly, that guy is in some serious trouble up at the pearly gates, now that Big Jim’s offed him. I mean, the Propane Plot, now drugs. Tsk, tsk, Reverend.

Ahem. So anyway. Junior shows up at the diner (but didn’t he promise Big Jim he wouldn’t get near Angie again? Seriously, these people), and Angie’s all “Get away from me! Get out!” blah blah blah. Which would probably have had more effect if she hadn’t suddenly had a seizure and started mumbling about pink stars falling.

So of course Junior’s convinced that he and Angie are meant to be together forever or something. He takes Angie to his mom’s art studio (I guess his mom was an artist? That’s new) and shows Angie a painting that his mom did. In it, Junior’s standing on a hill, looking up at a sky filled with…(wait for it)…pink stars.

So then Junior’s all, “Do you SEE?! You talked about PINK STARS! My mom PAINTED PINK STARS! This means WE ARE CONNECTED!!!” And Angie just kinda stands there and goes, “Uh…”

Yeah, I don’t even know.

Anyway, back to Julia. She talks to Norrie and Joe about the baby dome disappearing. They’re all perplexed, of course, because when are they not perplexed? Angie gets home and announces that she had a seizure and talked about pink stars falling, and Norrie and Joe ‘fess up and tell her that they’ve had those EXACT SAME seizures.

Creepy, right?

And of course their priority is to find the baby dome. Actually, it might be Julia’s priority, because she’s Julia, but Norrie and Joe seem pretty curious about it too.

It turns out that the baby dome is inside Joe’s shed/barn thing. Aww, it followed them home. But wait! It didn’t follow them home! Apparently Joe went on some sleepwalking hike and BROUGHT IT HOME WITH HIM! Because it was cold? I don’t know.

By this point, you may be wondering what the hell Big Jim’s been up to. I admit, I saved that part for the end, because this particular plot twist makes not even a lick of sense.

So. Suddenly and from out of nowhere (for real) some random blonde lady shows up at Big Jim’s house. (Remember, this is the ninth episode. Where the HELL has this lady been hiding for the last eight episodes that NO ONE has seen her or even knew she was in town? She’s not a local. WOULDN’T PEOPLE NOTICE HER?! Ugh.) Blonde Lady starts in on her spiel about her “arrangement” with Big Jim (meanwhile, I’m going “the fuck?!”).

That arrangement? Yeah, it turns out that Blonde Lady is the brains behind Rapture and she wants to go back into production so that she can supply the fine residents of Chester’s Mill with some apparently awesome drugs. And one of the ingredients for Rapture is…propane! (Ah, that Propane Plot finally comes to light.)

I…I don’t even. Seriously, is this for real?

So then Big Jim decides to collect all the guns because gun control! (Well, not really, but who the hell knows why Big Jim does things?) So Linda’s all, “But America! Guns!” because that’s the predictable Linda response. Big Jim, of course, argues that the dome is its own sovereign nation or something and the gun collection is voluntary. Barbie just gives Big Jim suspicious eyes.

Big Jim does his thing, people turn in their guns — except for that guy who shot at his neighbor at the beginning of his episode. He wants to KEEP HIS GUNS because they’re all he’s got left after his wife died. Also, he’s got a grenade and wants to kill himself with it. Big Jim then tries to comfort him and make him see that there’s SO MUCH to live for (under a dome).

Okay, so Big Jim should NEVER emote like that. It just doesn’t work.

Anyway, Gun Guy pretty much says, “Screw you” and pulls the pin on the grenade. But then! Big Jim GRABS IT AND PUTS THE PIN BACK IN!!!

I…I don’t…I have no words. Can you even DO that?! WTF.

Big Jim, after having saved the day, collects Gun Guy’s guns and adds them to the collection. Barbie goes with him to his house for some random reason and Blonde Lady shows up to congratulate Big Jim on everything going according to plan. Then she kisses Barbie, just to prove a point (and to let Big Jim know that she and Barbie know each other).

WHUT.

And then we’ve got Barbie and Big Jim posturing and blah blah blah. Then Blonde Lady blackmails Barbie into working for her again, even though he was already working for her (I guess she’s the bookie he was working for back at the beginning of the series?). Barbie’s like, “There’s nothing you can do that would make me want to work with you again!” And Blonde Lady goes, “Oh yeah? Well I’LL TELL JULIA YOU KILLED HER HUSBAND!”

Because apparently we’re all twelve years old or something. Also, WTF kind of plot point IS this?!

So yeah, now that that’s settled, Barbie’s in on whatever plot Blonde Lady’s cooking up, Big Jim’s stockpiling all the guns in their dungeon underground bunker, and Junior’s all “WTF is going on?!” when he discovers Big Jim with the guns in the bunker.

Dear god, this show just gets more fucked up every week. To wit: the episode ends with Norrie, Joe, and Angie coming to the conclusion that the baby dome is only for people who’ve had seizures (oooh, don’t tell Julia!). Then they all put a hand on the dome, which then lights up a fourth handprint… So then of course they’re all, “Let’s go find this fourth person so we can unlock the baby dome!”

Under the Dome airs on Mondays on CBS.

char

I'm Canadian, which according to movies and TV means I'm part of the group that's almost always wiped out during the apocalypse. I’ve watched too much Star Trek and Stargate over the years and spend too much time at my computer. Now, I'm waiting for the arrival of (and human enslavement by) the Borg or the Goa'uld. That is, if my computer doesn’t swallow me first.

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