Recap: Under the Dome Episode 13

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Le disclaimer: This post contains spoilers about episode 13, the season finale, of Under the Dome (titled “Curtains”). Do NOT read this post if you have not yet seen the episode and plan to.

First of all, HALLELUJAH this show is DONE. Time to celebrate!

Second of all, what the holy hell WAS that?! To the writers of this show, that was a terrible season finale. Terrible. I just…I can’t even… Did everyone go batshit?

So. The episode opens with the Baby Dome Posse, plus Carolyn and Linda, standing over the baby dome. Inside, the butterfly hatches. The Baby Dome Posse are all amazed because ZOMG this means that the monarch will be revealed!

Then the butterfly tries to get out, and each time it hits the baby dome, that part of the dome turns black. And THEN the big dome ALSO turns black. As in, completely opaque. It’s like midnight in there.

Linda’s really confused, because she has no freaking clue what’s going on (which seems to be her regular mindset, to be honest). Joe and Norrie tell her that they think the egg inside the baby dome is what’s powering the big dome. Which turns out to be a really stupid thing to do, because this is when Linda decides to grow a spine and is all “This is now POLICE property! DO NOT TOUCH!” Of course then she touches the dome, which promptly zaps her into unconsciousness. Because the dome’s protective like that.

But! Before she has her little nap, she calls for backup. Which is also a stupid thing to do, because now our resident psychotic megalomaniac, Big Jim, has just discovered where the egg is. (God, Linda, you are such a terrible judge of character. You worship Big Jim, who is seriously trying to be Lex Luthor or something, and you think Barbie’s the bad guy. Really?)

The three remaining members of the Baby Dome Posse take the dome and hide it while Linda’s passed out. (Remember, we last saw Angie with Julia. She wasn’t with the Posse.) Big Jim shows up at Ben’s house just as Linda’s waking up. Linda, giddy at having discovered that the baby dome is powering the big dome, tells Big Jim that this is their chance to bring down the dome. Big Jim, of course, is like, “Yeah, no, that’s not happening.” Because if the dome came down, he’d lose his corrupt kingdom and we CAN’T have that. Otherwise he’d have completely wasted his time at the Two Dimensional School for Wannabe Archvillains. All that tuition money…

While we’re on the subject of Big Jim, he’s annoyed that Barbie gave a not guilty plea when he was looking forward to burning him at the stake (or something). Big Jim tries some lame blackmail/threatening scheme, which Barbie basically laughs at. So Big Jim threw a temper tantrum and decided to build a gallows (or a scaffold, whatever you want to call it).

A GALLOWS. Because it’s the nineteenth century, yo.

Anyway. The Baby Dome Posse hide out in the cement factory (all traces of Maxine’s fight club thing are conveniently now gone). Joe broadcasts their location to Angie over the police radio, but he does it in a way that tells Big Jim nothing, which made me happy and Big Jim really pissed off. So Angie meets them there with Barbie and Julia in tow, and Junior of course tries to shoot Barbie. (Because shoot first, arrest later.) Julia tells the truth about who shot her (crazy jealous Maxine), but Junior doesn’t believe her. Because of course he doesn’t. Otherwise the episode would be a lot shorter. You know.

The Posse touches the baby dome, which promptly turns to dust and disintegrates. Convenient, that. In the midst of the dust, they find the butterfly. Sadly, it’s dead. But wait! No it isn’t! Because Norrie touches it and she apparently has super healing abilities! The butterfly flies off to Barbie, and Joe’s all smug in his I-told-you-so speech. Junior refuses to believe it, because Junior refuses to believe anything these days. The egg starts glowing and shaking (along with the factory) because I don’t know, maybe it’s mad that the Baby Dome Posse is too stupid to realize who the real monarch is.

Who is, apparently, Julia. She picks up the spasming egg, which immediately calms down because mommy!

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Then the butterfly flies over and lands on her hands. Ta-da! The monarch.

Junior, of course, refuses to believe it. Because he refuses to believe anything that doesn’t revolve around him. Or something.

Meanwhile, Big Jim has sent Linda to go look for the baby dome (she makes a good peon, that one). He comes across a gathering at the church and realizes that the residents are losing their shit because the dome’s now black and opaque. The residents are all, “OMG THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS!” and they’re convinced it’s the end times, though quite possibly without the Second Coming.

Aside: I thought the apocalypse was supposed to come with the four horsemen and the seven seals and all that? But hey, maybe the apocalypse has different rules in the dome.

Anyway. Big Jim decides he’s going to be the town’s reverend because why the hell not? He’s already the police chief, mayor, and judge (he’s not doing it out of guilt because he killed the previous reverend).

Over in Joe’s barn, Linda discovers the pink stars the Posse painted a few episodes ago. She radios Big Jim and tells him that the line “Pink stars are falling in lines” has been painted into the barn’s wall. And then Big Jim remembers his wife’s paintings from before she drove into a tree.

And then, megalomaniac that he is, he’s convinced that the dome is his DESTINY. Which he also tells Junior when Junior shows up to tell him that the Baby Dome Posse want to kill him. And then he tells Junior that he killed people to protect the town, because he’s altruistic like that. And Junior, for some random reason, has decided to actually care what Big Jim says and falls for the whole destiny crap Big Jim is spouting.

Also, Junior wanted to give the egg to his dad. The others, predictably, decide otherwise. Julia throws the egg to Angie, who takes off running. Barbie decides to distract Junior by tackling him WHEN HE IS HANDCUFFED. So obviously he’s going to get turned in to Big Jim. And if he isn’t, then we’d never get that shot that was shown in the previews, with Barbie standing by the noose. So you had to know this was coming.

In the woods, Norrie asks the egg what to do. A vision of her late mom, Alice, appears. Apparently, the people who built the dome have taken on the form of someone the Posse can relate to. (Or they’re lying and Alice is really an alien.) The dome was sent to protect them from something that will come at a later date (presumably this something will be a Very Bad Thing). To bring back the light, the Posse must protect the egg. If they fail to protect the egg, then DOOM. LOTS AND LOTS OF DOOM.

So Julia tosses the egg into the lake. Hey, that way, Big Jim can’t get it.

In the town square, Big Jim is getting ready to hang Barbie. But the egg is now protected, so it starts shooting pink stars — in lines — to the dome. The stars clear the blackness from the dome, making it bright. Like, radioactive explosion bright. Or staring-into-the-sun-while-in-space bright.

Basically, it’s really bright.

And Barbie’s still standing by the noose.

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Not in it.

And….that’s it.

Until next summer, that is.

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