Post-Apocalypse: The land of hairy women.

By | January 23, 2013

So, I watch a lot of post-apocalyptic and dystopian TV. I read a lot of fiction. I thoroughly enjoy doing these things.

The problem is with consuming such a huge amount of one thing is your brain starts to go to strange places, thinking strange things.

This leads to me questioning all sorts of things that are probably supposed to be ignored.

But the main thing that is bugging me at the moment?

How in the hell are these women so fucking hairless?

I mean, I know that smooth legs and underarms are the current beauty standard (though that has not always been the case). And I know that actresses have to stick to these standards even more than the rest of us.

But this is the post-apocalypse. They’re scarred, covered in mud and blood and wearing filthy, tattered clothes. How come, when they can’t seem to wash their face, do they have enough hot water, soap and razors to shave their legs? Is this really a priority in the post-apocalypse? ‘Oh, I know I’ve got to run from the aliens, just let me wax first.’

Oh, I know. Suspension of disbelief, blah blah blah. I mean, if I can accept that they’re all so pretty and well fed, surely I can expect the preternaturally smooth legs and underarms.

But I can’t. And you know why? Because I am the owner of a female body. I know how fast my leg hair grows, and I know what I look like when I’ve been unbothered for just a week. It utterly stumps me that they are unafraid to let us see their heroines bloodied and ugly crying, but they can’t show ‘em with a tuft of underarm hair.

What do they think? That the viewers, after watching all the death, murder and torment, will draw the line at some hair where hair naturally grows?

We’re all grown ups. We understand that hair grows. And it breaks the illusion (for me) to have these women with their limbs as smooth as dolls.

Tell you one thing. I am not shaving in the post-apocalypse. And if it bothers anyone, if people are genuinely so concerned with my body hair that they’ll forget we’re three meals away from starving to death, they can suffer and die alone in the wastes. Because their priorities are FUCKED.

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About anninyn

Anninyn lives and works in the UK, though she writes in a world of her own. Raised on a steady diet of sci-fi, intellectualism and political thinking by hippies, she looks at modern life through a somewhat-...unique... lens. She is obsessed with the apocalypse, and can be reached at anninyn@incaseofsurvival.com for all apocalypse-based inquiries. She is working on her first novel. You can find out about her and her other work through her website http://cbblanchard.com/

3 thoughts on “Post-Apocalypse: The land of hairy women.

  1. Zombie Spirituality

    Thanks for running my apocalyptic fantasies of fit clean smelling and shaven women yielding a sword with knee high boots and long duster coats, and hair that’s always a perfect mess….. I guess I could deal with it after it gets past the picky stage……PUKE!

    Reply
    1. anninyn Post author

      I’m not sorry, you hear? Not sorry.

      Hmm, I love the taste of ruined fantasies.

      (thanks)

      Reply
  2. Jamie Gibbs (@mithrilwisdom)

    It’s the first thing that the ladies put into their apocalypse survival bag – a lady bic. Sod food, water and ammo; what if the neighbours saw my unshaven armpits? If the zombies didn’t kill me, I’d die of embarrassment.

    Maybe they shave with pieces of broken mirror like you sometimes see blokes doing post-apocalypse..

    Reply

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