Post-apocalyptic threats you haven’t considered.

So, you think you’re pretty sorted, right? You’ve gone through our archives, checked out our reccommended reading. You have your go-bag, your outfit, and your group.You’re ready to go live your post-apocalyptic life in (relative) comfort and security, and nothing we say can bring you down. Right?

Right?

Wrong. There’s so much you haven’t even half considered yet. Like these threats.

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Apocalyptic Fiction: Side Effects by tavia.

The scientists swore this wouldn’t happen. Well, not exactly swore. I mean, nothing’s in writing except the waivers we signed. And, naturally, there was a pacifying spiel about odds and percentages and likely outcomes and those protocols everyone seemed to forget real fast.

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What is wrong with you?

A few weeks ago, I asked myself ‘where do you see yourself in five years?‘ This gave me the idea to write a series of posts concentrating on everyday/ rhetorical questions, answered from a post-apocalyptic frame of mind. Now, I’m not sure how ‘everyday’ this question is for some of you, but I hear a version of it at least once a day. Apparently, I am considered ‘strange’. I translate it as meaning ‘what are your flaws; and how are they going to kill you?’

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Survival training for the little ones

By “little ones,” I mean kids. Though I suppose it can mean anything else that could be called a little one.

Obviously, survival is going to be a big deal after the apocalypse. If you don’t focus on your survival, you won’t survive. Period. For some people, survival might come naturally. For others, it might take some training. Either way, it’s probably a good idea to train everybody in your group. Even if you’ve got a good handle on finding food and water, you’re still going to need to know how to defend yourself. Having a stash of ninja throwing stars isn’t going to help you if you just keep dropping them on your foot while the other guys take off with your food.

Everyone’s going to need training. Even (especially?) the kids. This shouldn’t be a surprise; parents train their kids now, and the world hasn’t ended yet (well,

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The Apocalypse Is On, Do You Save The Dog?

Have you seen the post-apocalyptic movie A Boy and His Dog1? It was everything a wasteland movie should be and so much more.

Though the message of the movie might be confusing on the surface, the take away wasn’t about the sex, violence, fanatics or even the crazy disparate cultures that came out of the life after the apocalypse. The take away was about the value of the relationship between a boy and his dog. About what one or the other was willing to sacrifice for his companion.

Now, in the case of A Boy and His Dog, the boy has the advantage of (or delusions of — I’m fairly sure the dog actually speaks to him, but I wouldn’t bet my life on it…) a talking dog. His dog isn’t just company, he’s also an confidant and partner.

In the real world (after the apocalypse this should still be true),

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Apocalyptic Fiction: Ragestorm Requiem

Legend says dawn used to be the rising sun. But then legend says the sun was a ball of fire hanging in the sky that brought day and warmth and dragged night behind it. I don’t know about that, ball of fire in the sky seems pretty unlikely to me.

I do know about the ragestorms though. My dawn is when the first hungry flashes of lightning flicker across the horizon; when the first hints of that angry, bruised rumbling reach my ears; when the black sky becomes turbulent grey. Clouds, they call them… sky ain’t nothing but clouds, I say, why we need two words?

I lift molly onto my back, take up my staff and peer out from where we hid for the night. With the ragestorm dawn there is dim light, enough to risk the world, a short space of time before the weather is fully on us in its fury and its passion.

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Why assumption will get you killed.

There’s a saying ‘To Assume makes an Ass out of U and Me’. I hate that saying, because it’s stupid and because it uses the American ‘ass’ and as far as I’m concerned that’s a donkey. I think that the saying should be ‘Assumptions will mean you starve to death or die of cholera’ but admittedly that’s not very catchy. However, it is much more accurate. Making assumptions probably won’t turn you into a donkey, but it will get you killed.

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How to make friends and influence zombies

There’s no doubt that friendships and networks will be important in the post-apocalyptic world. After all, people will need to band together for protection and survival. While making friends with other survivors may not be a requirement, it’s probably a good idea. Since there’s safety in numbers, you never know when you’ll need someone to watch your back. And, you know, finding a survivor group to join will probably be easier if people in that group actually like you.

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Equal Rights After The Apocalypse: The Zombie Rights Campaign

Often we assume that after the apocalypse, we will be the good guys and everyone else will be the bad guys. But what about if we’re the good guys and the other guys are just misunderstood?

We’ve allowed the genies to become children’s playmates of choice 1 , encouraged the hero worship of killer robots 2 and sat idly by at the romanticization of vampires 3 . All these creatures, once the stuff of nightmares, are now fodder for the diaries of adolescents.

What about the Zombies though? They remain the same shambling greedy shells of their former selves we’ve always viewed them as. We balk at the suggestion they may still have feelings and emotions. But what about rights? As former human beings are they still entitled to some if not all of the rights they once were.

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The family bomb shelter: yay or nay?

During the apocalypse, you’ll have to consider how to protect your family. This is especially true if you have children. The apocalypse is sure to be filled with chaos (not to mention things exploding and people shooting at each other), and protecting yourself—let alone your family—could be difficult or near impossible. There will be tough competition for food, water, and shelter, so you’ll have to fight for basic necessities. You’ll probably also meet scary and terrible bad guys who are intent on killing you for being in the way, or eating you because you’re in the way and it happens to be lunchtime.

This doesn’t sound like a very good environment for children, now does it? I thought not.

But how can you guarantee protection and shelter, at least during the apocalypse and in its immediate aftermath? Well, you can’t (sorry). You might, however, have a better chance of having shelter and supplies if you build a bomb shelter and keep it well-stocked.

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