I welcome our new Rat Overlords.

So, it turns out that if you put human braincells into rodents it makes them smarter. Thanks, science. Now I have to worry about super-intelligent rodents with a grudge against humanity, on top of everything else.

OK, so the ‘smarter’ isn’t human level intelligence, and I’m sure some party-pooper who doesn’t understand the point of this site is going to come and be all ‘heeeuuurgh that’ll never happen heeeeurgh because science doesn’t work that way duuuuurrrr’. But all I can see is the start of an apocalyptic novel or film, because that is how my brain works, ok? That is how my brain works.

On the other hand, maybe this research could help us in an apocalyptic scenario? Just like us, rats and mice are omnivorous, social, intelligent animals who build complex relationships. Rats have displayed incredible altruism when it comes to helping other rats. With enough intelligence maybe they could be persuaded to help us out of whatever apocalyptic situation comes to kick our arse? Not sure how much they could do about the ever-popular zombies, but maybe they could help with something else?

Either way, it might be time to start treating our whiskery friends with a bit more kindness. Sure, it’s a bit disconcerting when they skurry around after dark, and they eat food if we are filthy and leave it out and never clean our houses, but perhaps we should lay off the poison?

I’m thinking of our future, here.

(They were performing this study to see how human brains differ from those of other species. It is actually a fascinating study, and you should have a read)

3 thoughts on “I welcome our new Rat Overlords.

  1. Rats are motivated by survival and if they’re smarter then they’ll realize that they’re more likely to survive if we’re all dead.

    They already know that if the villain hold a blow torch to the metal bucket pressed against the victim’s stomach they should not show altruism, they should dig fast and furiously through that tender, delicious flesh.

    Maybe these rats won’t be straight up SMART but they’ll be clever. then they’ll breed like rats do and maybe this brain enhancement will have a side effect of advance, high-speed evolution and by this time next year the rats playing Planet of the Apes!

    Wear thick, high boots and carry a sharp stick because the Rat Reckoning is coming!

  2. I immediately think of the movie Willard – creepy. I’m with Tavia; if rats get any smarter, they’ll realise that we’re a liability and that they’d survive better without us around.

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