One Block Off The Grid Explains What It Would Take To Live Off The Land

What if, instead of preparing for corporations, scientists, and politicians eventually tucking us all soundly into our collective hand basket before propelling us to eternal damnation we prepared to pave our way down an alternate path? What if we forced the issue of going green by making it easy to understand, afford, and navigate?
One Block Off The Grid (1BOG) is here to help us explore our proactive, preemptive options. Basically, as explained on their website, “1BOG is collective purchasing for green home improvements. By grouping together, we can get huge discounts on things that are typically very expensive.”
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Bullying Prevention Can Increase Our Chances of Survival

Although it’s almost over, let’s not forget that October is National Bullying Prevention Month. With our eyes on the youth of first-world societies and their inability to act like civilized human beings, too often tormenting one another to death, we forget where they learn it from.
Civility is a taught behavior. Unfortunately, many adults seem to think being grown is the same thing as acting right. They forget that hate crimes are not youthful indiscretions but evidence of an ailing society where some give themselves permission to prey on others based on minutia. Rarely is prey selected based on anything actually dangerous (Zombies, Vampires, Brain Slugs) or chosen by the individual (Mad scientists, Militias). Rather the prey are selected based on the basic Us mentality.
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Surviving the winter months.

You live in the west.  You are spoiled and pampered. Trust me. Central heating, hot water, a hospital you can go to if you catch pneumonia. We’re so used to the concept of being able to flip a switch and make heat that when the cost of it goes up we bitch.
It’s not going to exist post apocalypse. At all. Ever.
Continue reading “Surviving the winter months.”

The post-apocalyptic new parent

Congratulations! You’ve gotten through the post-apocalyptic pregnancy and survived the post-apocalyptic childbirth. Now, you’re ensconced in your tent, tucked away in the (relative) safety of your survival camp, with your brand-new, adorable tiny human.
By this I mean your brand new, really loud, really demanding, and sometimes not all that adorable tiny human.
We all know babies are loud. They’re also like little divas, since they don’t do anything but demand you cater to their needs. (Though it could be argued that all kids are like this, regardless of their age. Ahem.) They also require a lot of planning.
The next time you’re traipsing through your favorite department store, take a quick walk through the baby department. You see all that stuff? Cribs, diapers, clothing, wipes, strollers, playpens, blah blah blah? Most of that is actually necessary. (Some of it isn’t—I mean, as much fun as it was to plop my kid in a bouncy seat that vibrated and sang lullabies while blinking in a soothing  nightlight pattern, it was also totally ridiculous and completely unnecessary.)
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Zombie wasps promote anarchy and parasite life cycle

A few days ago, Tavia sent me a link to a story that disturbed me. Actually, it freaked me the hell out, and kicked up my paranoia by a few many notches.
You know how we’ve all pretty much said that a zombie apocalypse is unlikely? We might be wrong about that. Because the zombie apocalypse is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
Okay, so, it’s happening to wasps, but it’s still happening. (I know, right? The apocalypse cometh.)
There is a lovely little parasite with a Latin name I can’t pronounce (vesparum something), whose larvae burrow into the belly of the European paper wasp when the two species make contact. (Let me repeat that. BURROWS INTO. As in, tunnels through this thing’s belly. Ew. And ow.)
Continue reading “Zombie wasps promote anarchy and parasite life cycle”

Zombie wasps promote anarchy and parasite life cycle

A few days ago, Tavia sent me a link to a story that disturbed me. Actually, it freaked me the hell out, and kicked up my paranoia by a few many notches.
You know how we’ve all pretty much said that a zombie apocalypse is unlikely? We might be wrong about that. Because the zombie apocalypse is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
Okay, so, it’s happening to wasps, but it’s still happening. (I know, right? The apocalypse cometh.)
There is a lovely little parasite with a Latin name I can’t pronounce (vesparum something), whose larvae burrow into the belly of the European paper wasp when the two species make contact. (Let me repeat that. BURROWS INTO. As in, tunnels through this thing’s belly. Ew. And ow.)
Continue reading “Zombie wasps promote anarchy and parasite life cycle”

Post apocalyptic hauntings

Last week I talked about supernatural apocalypses (apocali?) and came to the conclusion that they were just as likely as zombies, if you really push your definitions.
But with ghosts I was stuck. Could ghosts cause an apocalypse? If ghosts exist (and I’ll leave you to your beliefs on that subject if you leave me to mine) would they haunt the world post-apocalypse? I mean, if anything will create ghosts the end of the world will. If ghosts do cause the apocalypse, how on earth will we defend ourselves against them?
I aim to answer these questions today.
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Post-apocalyptic childbirth

Last week, we talked about post-apocalyptic pregnancy. This week, we move on to labor and delivery.
Again, the caveat: I am not a medical professional, midwife, or a doula. I’m writing this from the perspective of someone who’s given birth to two children.
Ready? Here we go! Continue reading “Post-apocalyptic childbirth”

BREAKING NEWS: Build yourself a plague mask, NOW.

According to the BBC, researchers have rebuilt the genetic code of the black death.
Because that’s a great idea.
To those of you who aren’t aware, the Black Death was a near-apocalyptic plague in the past: It killed nearly 50 million people. Back then, that was around 30 percent of the population of Europe.
Continue reading “BREAKING NEWS: Build yourself a plague mask, NOW.”

Survival Sex Kit (not safe for some works)

So, when the power goes out and the liquor has run down, someone might get horny.
This brings me back to that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine’s favorite contraceptive is discontinued and she goes out and buys as much of it as she can. But then she rations it. She judges men more carefully and while she might like a guy, she also has to determine if they’re truly “sponge worthy.”
We must remember to invest in some of our baser needs to stave off maddness. But we can’t just start doing every Tom, Dick, and Harry who offers a leer because it’s good for our state of minds. That’s how you create Super Aids, Syphilmidia, and Babies. We need to be able to indulge and ration.
Solution: Invest in an Emergency Sex Kit. Continue reading “Survival Sex Kit (not safe for some works)”