Quick Survival Tip: Keep a Hair Elastic Handy

Hair elastics are not just lady utilities.

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These little buggers are true multitaskers if you give them the opportunity.

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They are, after all, essentially upgraded rubber bands.

These things are fairly cheap and you can almost always find a use for them yourself or someone in need of using them. One of the major points of survival preparation people often over look is being able to convince other people they not only shouldn’t kill you but should also find your continued existence necessary.

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First of all, a hair elastic can do all the jobs of a rubber band and more.

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Women are not keen on tying their  hair with the ladder but always seem to be in need of the former. Be a reliable, practical, mini-hero.

Other uses include but are not limited to:

  • A way to add grip to a handle (wrap securely around the handle a few times)
  • A tool for securing pants that are too big or too small (Too small: slip the elastic into the button hole, loop both sides over the button. Too big: slip the elastic through a belt loop then loop both sides of the elastic over the button [this is a messy look and should be avoided if possible])
  • A way to secure things (figure it out as needed)
  • A way to get someone’s attention (either quietly get the attention of a friend or divert a foe’s attention elsewhere. Also, if you’re on watch and worried about falling asleep, wear the elastic around your wrist and snap it every time you notice yourself drifting off.)

The list goes on.

Is Occupy Wall Street The Start of a Slow, Apocalyptic Decline?

What does a slow, apocalyptic decline look like?

Almost two months ago, protests began in New York City in opposition to … stuff and things and inequality. There was definitely a general outrage about inequality. But what did they want to be done about it?

Everyone who has learned the basics of capitalism knows that some people have more than others do. Not because they necessarily work harder but because whatever they’re selling has more demand and thus they earn more. Our society is based on supply and demand.

What about this example of a real life teacher participating in the Occupy Wall Street protests after quitting his full time teaching job to pursue a MFA in Puppetry and then finding that three years later there was no work to be found for a Master of Puppets?
Continue reading “Is Occupy Wall Street The Start of a Slow, Apocalyptic Decline?”

Quick Survival Tip: Untie Your Shoes When You Take Them Off

Rarely are we in a sincere hurry to remove our shoes, but often shoes can be a very necessary hurdle when trying to get somewhere quickly.

I’ve spend way too many minutes psyching myself up for a workout only to deflated by sitting down and untying the double knots still in my laces. Once I’m on the couch working on those knots I’ll often see something or take a deep breath and all that hard work of getting myself into the mindset of getting up and going is seeping away; all because of a bow.

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If your home is on fire of you’re finding yourself running for your life for any reason, you’ll want to  have quick access to your footwear.

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It’s easy to remove shoes while stile tied and probably looks nicer if they’re stored in the open, but you will waste precious time where it’s most important if you do not untie your shoes when you take them off.

And remember: if you’re concerned about tripping or the shoes staying on, just remember you haven’t tied them and make an effort to not fall out of them or over your laces.

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Just like you remember to chew your food and tap your breaks when the situation calls for it.

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Disaster struck and we were mostly ready…

The last weekend of October is normally about trying not to eat all your Halloween candy before strange, disguised children can com to your door and beg for it. this year, though, it was about flashlights, candles, two-player Uno and extra socks.

Yes, my husband and I were caught in the the Halloween Snowpocalypse of 2011 (Read: An icy October snowstorm in 2011 that, combined with the weight of leaves still being on the trees, resulted in a number of broken trees and downed power lines leaving about 2.5 million homes without power.). At 9:30 our home went dark and the lights in our souls dimed a bit.

I knew exactly where to find the flashlights and the candles, we had warm clothes and blankets galore, and food was a non-issue. Unfortunately, once we were set up I started to notice the flaws in my planning.

Continue reading “Disaster struck and we were mostly ready…”

Why The CDC is My Favorite Government Agency

The only thing worse than having a boring job is having a boring job that involves relaying boring information to people who have no interest in your latest report about whatever you’ve been on about in that sad little corner of yours. The CDC is the kid with the rock collection on show-and-tell day.

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Sure there’s loads of facts and “interesting” things you can learn about hand washing, but NASA went to the moon.

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Well, the CDC is taking the gloves off (then carefully washing their hands up to their elbows for 45 seconds) and bring out the pop culture references.

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They realized that zombies are hot right now and hell if that mess isn’t right up their alley.

Infection, plague, contagions, and wide-spread chaos? Jackpot!

Continue reading “Why The CDC is My Favorite Government Agency”

Bullying Prevention Can Increase Our Chances of Survival

Although it’s almost over, let’s not forget that October is National Bullying Prevention Month. With our eyes on the youth of first-world societies and their inability to act like civilized human beings, too often tormenting one another to death, we forget where they learn it from.

Civility is a taught behavior. Unfortunately, many adults seem to think being grown is the same thing as acting right. They forget that hate crimes are not youthful indiscretions but evidence of an ailing society where some give themselves permission to prey on others based on minutia. Rarely is prey selected based on anything actually dangerous (Zombies, Vampires, Brain Slugs) or chosen by the individual (Mad scientists, Militias). Rather the prey are selected based on the basic Us mentality.

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Surviving the winter months.

You live in the west.  You are spoiled and pampered. Trust me. Central heating, hot water, a hospital you can go to if you catch pneumonia. We’re so used to the concept of being able to flip a switch and make heat that when the cost of it goes up we bitch.

It’s not going to exist post apocalypse. At all. Ever.

Continue reading “Surviving the winter months.”

The post-apocalyptic new parent

Congratulations! You’ve gotten through the post-apocalyptic pregnancy and survived the post-apocalyptic childbirth. Now, you’re ensconced in your tent, tucked away in the (relative) safety of your survival camp, with your brand-new, adorable tiny human.

By this I mean your brand new, really loud, really demanding, and sometimes not all that adorable tiny human.

We all know babies are loud. They’re also like little divas, since they don’t do anything but demand you cater to their needs. (Though it could be argued that all kids are like this, regardless of their age. Ahem.) They also require a lot of planning.

The next time you’re traipsing through your favorite department store, take a quick walk through the baby department. You see all that stuff? Cribs, diapers, clothing, wipes, strollers, playpens, blah blah blah? Most of that is actually necessary. (Some of it isn’t—I mean, as much fun as it was to plop my kid in a bouncy seat that vibrated and sang lullabies while blinking in a soothing  nightlight pattern, it was also totally ridiculous and completely unnecessary.)

Continue reading “The post-apocalyptic new parent”