Post Apocalyptic living is going to be tough. Really, really tough.
I can hear you, over there, rolling your eyes, doing that irritating ‘blahblahblah’ thing while pretending your hand is a mouth.
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The last person who did that to me got a fork in the hand, so stop it.
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You done? Good.
I KNOW I’ve said it before. I KNOW I keep going on about how back-breakingly, bone-achingly hard post apocalyptic living is going to be, but I don’t think you get it yet.
This here is one of the hardest bits. You’re going to need to work, every day of your life. And so are your kids.
Last week I wrote the first post in my gift idea series. This week, I’m continuing with the series, but with possible gifts for kids. As with last week’s list, this week’s gives an overview of possibilities, not an exhaustive list.
When I was first compiling my product list, I went to my favorite store for sports/outdoor gear: Canadian-based Mountain Equipment Co-op. My husband got all of his hiking gear there, and we’ve all gotten jackets from there. The American-based equivalent seems to be REI (in case you’re wondering). Then, of course, I went to my old stand-by, Amazon. Because you can get pretty much anything on Amazon.
NOTE: Neither I nor ICoS are sponsored by any of the above-mentioned companies. We do not get paid for mentioning their items.
I spend a ludicrous amount of time thinking about the apocalypse. Never about dying in it though; I’m not some kind of sad sack. I think long and hard about life after the apocalypse and the kinds of supplies I might need not only to survive but also to thrive happily.
What will I eat? What should I wear? Do I currently own appropriate footwear? Could it be that hard to fire a gun; bludgeon a grown man; or not get bodily fluids in my eyes, nose, or mouth?
It’s hard to say.
I mean I don’t go running every day on the off chance there might be a race between a zombie, some other survivor, and me. I’ve got Blackness and determination on my side. I may be chubby, but I strongly believe that as long as something is chasing me, I can run fast. It might be the ugliest running anyone has ever witnessed, but it’ll get me there. And when I get there, I’m locking the door behind me whether or not you’re still with me.
Come the chaos of the apocalypse, people are going to die. Maybe en masse. Maybe slowly, but surely. Maybe by accidents. But definitely by murder. And that’s okay.
Every so often we’ll need to kill some fool who just refuses to act right or find their way to our good side. Congrats, Fool. You’re going to be an example; your life officially has meaning.
Examples of totally justifiable post-apocalyptic times to kill some folks:
Photo Credit: prc1333
A.The other day I saw school bus in the city and a squad of cheerleaders loading themselves onto it. That was weird. No sports team requiring encouragement, just a bus full of high school cheerleaders.
I, and a number of others, looked on quizzically. “hmm, that’s unusual,” we thought collectively.
But then there were a few others who were looking on not quizzically but lustfully.
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Grown ass men stared with their mouths agape to allow unencumbered panting as their eyes bugged, unblinking and their brows quirked expectantly.
Expectantly? What the fuck were they expecting?
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A strong wind? A well-timed tumble? A panty apocalypse paired with a strong wind and a well-timed tumble?
a.In an apocalypse situation, that brightly colored band of super-coordinated bitches look like a heard of wounded baby gazelle to the men of the city playing the part of oversized, hungry Serengeti cats.
b.In the post-apocalyptic world, from the first offence, this cheer squad will need to make an example of some fool to prevent further attempts at victimization. Continue reading “Post-Apocalyptic People To Kill”
I’m not going to comment on the sanity (or lack thereof) of the Black Friday shopping madness, and I might be a relatively new resident of the U.S., but I think it’s pretty safe to say that the holiday shopping season has begun. (Typed as I sit at my computer, switching back and forth between this document and Amazon.com’s Cyber Monday Deals Week page. See? Even my Canadian self isn’t immune to the post-American Thanksgiving shopping hype.)
What does Black Friday have to do with the apocalypse? That is, aside from possibly causing the world to collapse in on itself under the weight of a million rioting shoppers, thus causing the apocalypse? Nothing really, other than the fact that it had me wondering what gift-giving will be like in the post apocalypse.
I’ve seen a few of the gift-giving guides that pop up this time of year, and I thought to myself, “Hmm…there should be one of those for the post-apocalypse survivor!” I mean, at some point in time people are going to start celebrating birthdays, apocalypse survival holidays, the rise of the dictator days, etc. etc. It’s best to be prepared with a list of gift-giving possibilities, right?
Of course, most of these items come from apocalypse survival gear lists, but seriously, they make great gifts, too. Sure, the average survivor will probably have most of these already, but things wear out and break. Other things get lost. Other things will get stolen. So when your favorite people need replacement survival items…it’s gift-giving time! (Of course, I highly suggest stocking up on these items now, while we still have time.)
English: Effects of stress on the body. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Stress can have extremely damaging effects on the body if not properly managed or avoided. Survival situations are hard enough without adding the chaos caused by stress.
According to the American Institute of Stress (AIS) some of the more dangerous symptoms include: Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts, Difficulty in making decisions, Feeling overloaded or overwhelmed, Feelings of loneliness or worthlessness, Overreaction to petty annoyances, Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness, Increased anger, frustration, hostility.
As often as I can, I wash dishes and vacuum and rub things down with disinfectant until they’re clean. But I recently realized how important it is to clean my spaces of clutter that can hinder me both mentally and physically.
I carry way too many things with me no matter the time, day, or occasion. I’ll pack 12 days’ worth of clothing and supplies for a 7-day trip. Then I win inevitable realize I’m missing some actually vital thing that didn’t even cross my mind.
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My luggage will have socks suitable for the three pairs of shoes but no toothbrush. Luckily, I can usually buy whatever the thing is I left behind. However, when it comes to survival and prepping the last thing you want is to realize you have a package of markers and no food.
I’m the type of person who wrestles with sentimental and speculative value. “I could use that for something,” I tell my husband as he dangles random items with no place or purpose in our house over the trash. He shakes his head and places it back on the dining room table.
Honestly? I almost never do anything with those things that I could use for something. They take up space and confuse me when I have to organize mentally. Mentally, I need to establish where things are and why, what to do if I can’t see where I’m going, and how to make efficient use of space and time in an emergency.
When my batteries are mixed in with bottle caps and my shovel is buried behind decorating supplies, I’m in a dangerous spot when it comes time to reach blindly into that box or closet in a hurry. Great, I’ve cut my hand, dropped a box on my head, and am now in need of medical attention. This is a sign it’s time for me to clean out my trash and make room for some treasure (read: breathing room and safe passage in my home).
In life, any life, before or after an apocalypse you meet all kinds of people. The thing with people is they tend to fall into categories. They don’t do it on purpose, in fact they don’t do it themselves, our minds do it to the people we meet. We categorize and stereotype for our safety and to save space in out brains for things like the lyrics to the Ninja Rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
In the future though, when we’ve only got a tenth of our population and don’t know who is friend and who is foe, it will help to be cautious of certain people you meet based on some well worn stereotypes.
You see them in all your study materials [1. read: books, movies, comics, etc.] but never really acknowledge what they mean to you and your survival if they land themselves in you party or in your path on your way to hide in the abandoned mental institutional.
Below is a handy reference guide to some of the people you may meet on the other side of the apocalypse and the issues that may arise from dealing with them [2. Don’t think you are without flaws here! If somehow you’ve gotten to be the leader of this ragtag group, you’re probably arrogant, stubborn and obsessive. You could also get everyone you know killed if you take too many risks — or be killed yourself if you’re too annoying. Watch out.] .
After all, wouldn’t Fallout 3, Rage, Brink, Fallout New Vegas and all the other post apocalyptic games be a better bet?
Well, yes and no.
Yes because of the obvious. Those other games are all set in apocalyptic or post apocalyptic worlds, and for that reason alone you’d think they had an advantage.
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And, in fact, I have used Fallout as a survival simulator, though for some reason in real life I can’t carry a mini nuke launcher. So unfair.
But there are many things Skyrim can teach you that they can’t. And it can teach it two-fold- once from the in game experiences, and once from the actual experience of playing it.
I was surfing the Interwebs for help in finding a topic for today’s post. Since I tend to write about family related things (my unofficial topic here at ICoS), I was trying to find something related to the apocalypse or the post-apocalypse family.
Because, you know, if there’s news, it’s my job to share it with you.
And share I will.
Okay, so, you all know by now that we here at ICoS like to stress the importance of apocalypse preparedness. We’ve given you tips about how to survive the apocalypse and the post apocalypse. Ann’s even shared her pre-apocalypse training program, the Apocalypse Walk.
Obviously, we want everyone to have the best possible chance of surviving the apocalypse.
