Lazy Survival

Hi,

I’m writing this from my couch. My couch is where I sit when I get home from work. Work is where I sit all day and do tasks via conversation or computer between trolling the internet for comics and accessories and taking coffee brakes.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I live a lazy life. I can exercise, but I don’t really — I only run to a) find out what’s happening in Zombies, Run! or b) because I feel guilty and worry about atrophy.

Being the lazy loaf that I am does not mean I’ll die in the apocalypse. On the contrary, I means I’m more likely to be in my home safe from harm because I don’t go out much and then die after the apocalypse because I don’t know how to care for myself and can’t run up stairs.

However, today I realized something: You don’t need to die because you’re too lazy to run for your life, you just need to know what the alternative is to both running AND dying. (It’s hiding.)

I’ve come up with some strategies that can help you in your lazy or cowardice survial efforts. Continue reading “Lazy Survival”

What Wales taught me about the post apocalypse.

 

So, I was camping in Wales.[1. Details of where we stayed for those who want to follow in our footsteps: We went to The Brecon Beacons, a national park of astounding natural beauty. We stayed in two campsites, both of which I strongly recommend – Priory Mill Farm, just outside the town of Brecon, and Ynysfaen a mile and a half outside of Trecastle] It wasn’t a survivalism retreat and to my mind it was far from roughing it. Experienced survivalists would sneer at it and pampered hotel-dwellers would shudder. But you’d better believe it taught me a few things about my survivability rate post-apocalypse… both good and bad. It also taught me about how unpleasant a panic attack is when you’re having it in a field surrounded by woodland, water and no other people, but that’s an entirely different post for an entirely different blog.

First, the bad. Read on after the cut.

Continue reading “What Wales taught me about the post apocalypse.”

Camping: It's practice for living post-city.

I am not here. I am off camping in Wales with my husband, where I am spending the time walking up hills, looking at castles, complaining about hills and wishing I didn’t get thirsty so often.

I’ve always loved camping and walking holidays, and this time I’ve chosen one with as few mod cons available to me as possible (I drew the line at lack of showers; though all the places we’re staying have only 4 minutes of hot water).

And while it’s not true survivalism we’re doing (I have access to a town and shops, this is a HOLIDAY) It is far from a luxury break, and it’s excellent practice for the post apocalypse.

Continue reading “Camping: It's practice for living post-city.”

Some depressing truths.

The Apocalypse (hell, any massive disaster which you may need to survive) is not going to be fair. Books and Films and Comics give us the impression that, as long as we’re a ‘main character’ we’ll make it. Oh, there’ll be tragedy and horror along the way, and people will die almost as if it was designed to have an emotional impact, but we’re the leading characters. We’ll make it!

Most people see themselves as the leading characters in their own story. The fact is, this won’t be a story, and we can’t all make it.

Continue reading “Some depressing truths.”

Killing Zombies: What they don't tell you

The likelihood of zombies rising up and trying to eat your face isn’t the point. What is the point is that if zombies do rise up you need to be prepared to kill them or you’ll get eaten.

Everyone knows you should aim to disable a zombie’s brain to take them down for good. But what do you do before you start swinging? How do you prepare to fight instead of flee? Continue reading “Killing Zombies: What they don't tell you”

Sleep deprivation can kill you in the post apocalypse

Okay, so sleep deprivation can kill you before the apocalypse, too. It’s probably fair to say that sleep deprivation can kill you, period.

Right now, for many of us, not getting enough sleep may not be a big deal. There’s too much stuff to do, not enough hours in a day, yada yada; sleep is one of the first things to suffer. After all, there’s always the weekend to catch up, right?

But in the post apocalypse, “the weekend” won’t be an option. And sure, there will still be lots to do and probably not enough time to do them; only this time, those things you’ll need to do will actually be keeping you alive.

Continue reading “Sleep deprivation can kill you in the post apocalypse”

Simple Biology.

There are a lot of things that could get in our way, post apocalypse, and perhaps the most simple one is ones that post apocalypse games, literature and comics rarely cover (perhaps cause it’s gross, perhaps cause it’s dull) and it’s a fairly simple one. Our basic biological needs.

Our needs to eat, drink, shit, piss and sleep(yes, I’m going to swear in this one. Are you honestly surprised?).

We have other biological drives as well- the need for sex, being the first one I think of – but most of those can be ignored when the danger is really intense. We can’t ignore the others.

Continue reading “Simple Biology.”

Don't fight fair.

Sometimes on TV or even in real life you’ll hear people say they could have won a fight if only the other person had only fought fair… Really? There’s some expectation that individuals tho digress from disagreement to heated, insult-riddled debate, to physical altercation will abide by some sort of code of ethics? A chick can throw her drink on you, but not the glass itself? A dude can punch you in the gut, but not in the balls?

If you punch me in the face, I’m not allowed to punch you in the dick because… Oh, wait, nope. If you punch me in the face, I’ma punch you in the dick and poke you in the eye and scratch you, and if there’s sand I’ll throw that too.

Continue reading “Don't fight fair.”

The Hollywood Tough Girl, and why she would die immediately.

In more recent years, Hollywood has attempted to be slightly less disgustingly misogynistic in it’s treatment of women, more out of an attempt to appear forward-thinking rather than a genuine belief that women are individual human beings.

One of these slight changes is the portrayal of awesome, kick-arse female characters in films (and other media. While the title of this article refers to Hollywood, I will refer to games and comics as well).

So waht’s the problem? Here’s a woman who is able to kill zombies/aliens/robots just as well as any men, right? A positive role model, and one the ICoS girls should admire, right?

Oh, how wrong you are. Sure, I think most of these women are cool, but as for role models for women? Ehh, not so much, especially in the drastically important realm of surviving the post apocalyptic world.

 

Continue reading “The Hollywood Tough Girl, and why she would die immediately.”

Apocalyptic Travel Tips

Travel is a messy and difficult thing. Often because it involves more than just you, a point A, and a point B. There are gatekeepers who want to make sure you’re not only not a security risk but also that you’ve simply followed the rules that have been laid out. Other people will also be traveling with or along side you. If they’re children or elderly, then they’ll need to use the bathrooms and eat and just waste your time as much as they can. And, finally, there will be stuff. We’ve gone over what you can and should bring with you before the apocalypse. Now, lets look at what travel tips we should bear in mind when traveling post-apocalyptically. Continue reading “Apocalyptic Travel Tips”