Category: Apocalyptic Living

Quick Survival Tip: Stay Active

Posted on by tavia.

Staying active is the only way to practice the need to fight or flee at any moment. Down time sounds fantastic on paper but too much can be the death of you and your ability to survive any situation.

  • Could you easily climb to the 20th floor of a building in a hurry?
  • Could you walk 20 miles in a day? Run five miles with a pack on your back?
  • Could you wake up in the middle of the night and sprint through the woods or ruins of s city?

Personally, I can barely make it up 12 steps in my own home without a whinge and a rest. Not a good sign.

Sitting one the couch reading books will not prepare you for the post-apocalyptic survival. Knowing piles of things with out doing them will not prepare you.

It’s hard to stay active when it’s a choice but making it a challenge might make it easier.

Some challenges to help you stay active:

1. Zombies, Run! – This is an interactive story where you’re the main character, Runner 5. You’re coached and guided by the communications expert at a survival camp to run all over the English countryside. You’re the hero and more items you collect the more you can build up your camp.

Missions can be a half hour or an hour, between checkpoints you listen to a playlist you load into the app, your progress is tracked as a runner and the more you run, the swankier you base will get.

2. About.com’s 30-day Fitness Challenge – This one’s for people who need constant prodding. You’re signing up for a 30-day newsletter, each day brings a new challenge– all you have to do is read your email.

3. 100 push-up & 200 sit-ups – This is a great challenge for those who want to prove their dedication to themselves. Over a six-week period you build up the strength until you can do 100 push-ups or 200 sit-up non-stop.

If you do the initial test, you might be shocked to find how flimsy you actually are.

Staying active is a choice.

Choose not only to get that heart healthy 30 minutes of activity a day but also build yourself up and make staying active a part of who you are so when everything else is torn away you can be confident that you’ll still be standing strong, running fast, and generally not dying a heinous death at the hands of robot-alien-zombies.

 

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Interview: The Vegan Zombie

Posted on by anninyn

I was excited to find out about The Vegan Zombie, a post-apocalyptic themed cooking show. Not jsut a cooking show, either – there’s a story to this baby.

While I’m not a vegetarian of vegan myself, I was for a while and I understand just how hard it is to find delicious, practical meals to make – and how much harder would that be post-zombie. It’s not just for vegetarians or vegans – all our followers who enjoy eating might find this useful. After all, ready-killed, skinned, cut and pre-packaged meat is going to be a bit thin on the ground.

For your delectation, an interview with Chris from The Vegan Zombie.

vegan zombies 2First off, tell us a little bit about The Vegan Zombie.

Well, I’m Chris, the creator and producer of The Vegan Zombie. Jon is the charismatic host of the show and Indy is the German Shepherd sidekick. Basically we do a vegan cooking show that is set in the zombie apocalypse. We prepare delicious zombie-free recipes that simple and easy to make.

What gave you the idea?

I got the idea one day while driving the back roads of upstate NY for work. I began thinking of a way I could mash up my love of the horror genre with my longtime vegan lifestyle in a cool way. That gave me the idea of The Vegan Zombie. I went home and began writing a movie script. I have always loved making videos and movies with my friends and family, especially horror. The script is a full-on zombie apocalypse story in which the infection originated through the meat and dairy that people were consuming. There is a twist at the end which will explain why we chose the name TVZ. To make a long story short, I put making the movie on the back burner and decided to start a youtube cooking series with the same concept. Jon is the lone survivor and is a little crazy. He’s always talking about zombies and making food. In some of our episodes he is fighting zombies and gets into some pretty tight situations.

How easy are the recipes to make? Could I make them while huddled around a fire in desperate fear for my life?

Yes, for the most part our recipes are really easy to make. There are some that are more labor intensive but we have something for everyone. We aim to make mostly vegan comfort foods to replicate that kind of foods that non vegans say they can’t live without. For example, we have a vegan version of cheesesteak called the No Killy Philly and we have pizza rolls and cheese sticks all vegan. We also have healthier raw foods for the health conscious folks. Yes, I said folks. Anyway, our show is for everyone. We have an non judgmental atmosphere and a lot of people make our dishes once or twice a week who aren’t even vegan.

Now for the questions we ask everyone:

What is the most likely apocalyptic scenario?

I’d say the most likely apocalypse would be of a viral origin. Kind of like 28 days later or WWZ. Something scientific that affected our brains and caused primal instinct to take over with no rational thought would be the most plausible out of the apocalyptic scenarios.

Any survival tips for our readers?

Stay away from populous areas. Aim for the head. Keep calm, you’re smarter than a zombie. Think about this, everyone associates zombies with brains. But unless someone’s head is cracked open they are most likely not gonna eat your brain. It’s too hard to get to. Your flesh and guts are what they will eat. Wear clothes that are not easy to bite through.

Are you OK with living under the benevolent dictatorship of myself or the other two ICoS ladies?

Well that all depends, I think we’d have to meet you all first before we answered that one. 🙂

Trust me, we’re great. Now tell us anything you want about anything you want.

We are currently doing a kickstarter for our cookbook, Cook & Survive, which will be out later this fall. It is full of our all vegan recipes and it will have a graphic novel that illustrates the adventures of TVZ. You can check that out here http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theveganzombie/the-vegan-zombie-cookbook

You can follow us on youtube, FB, twitter, IG and other social media sites.
PHEED: TheVeganZombie

 

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But what will I drink in the post-apocalypse?

Posted on by char

Apologies again for falling off the planet these past couple weeks.

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Things have been happening that have affected my ability to write (well, more like my ability to stay awake long enough to write). I’ll probably tell y’all about it someday.

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Maybe.

Anyway. Back to the apocalypse. I’m convinced we’re going to put ourselves in some sort of apocalyptic situation sooner rather than later (I’m rather fond of the we’ll-blow-ourselves-up theory), so I’m starting to focus on all the little trivial things more than I used to.

For example! What will we drink during the apocalypse and the post-apocalypse?

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Worst case scenarios usually revolve around a lack of water. But, you know, human beings need liquids and all that to survive. So without water, what will we drink?

What about beer? We talk a lot about rum and moisturizer, so it’s not too farfetched to think that some of us would drink beer. (Um, right?)

Specifically, this beer:

zombie apocalypse beer
Beer my husband drank at his dad’s house. No, for real. This beer exists. Right now.

Of course, this beer would be AWESOME during an actual zombie apocalypse, but it’ll probably still be okay during the robot apocalypse or the evil space pirate monkey apocalypse. Or a Borg invasion.

Well, okay, maybe not the Borg. But you know what I mean.

On another note, does anyone know if there’s a zombie apocalypse rum available? Because that would be full of awesome.

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10 ways to ensure your survival camp followers toss you to the zombies

Posted on by char

So you’re a survival camp dictator tyrant leader. Congrats! You’ve got a bunch of people looking to you to keep them alive (no pressure or anything). Of course, now you have to lead them in a way that not only keeps them safe, but keeps them happy.

Because, you know, unhappy campers usually means a leader doesn’t last long. Especially in the post-apocalypse, where I’d imagine life could be very dog-eat-dog, and if you’re not up to par, they’ll toss you to the zombies and put someone else in the leader’s chair.

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Here are 10 ways to ensure your survival camp followers toss you over the wall to be zombie food:

  1. Micromanage. Manage every detail. Make sure you’ve got your hand in every pie.
  2. Be a helicopter supervisor. In the event that you decide to delegate and assign “regional leaders” (or whatever you want to call them), be a helicopter supervisor. You’ve heard of helicopter parents, right? You know, the ones who hover and keep an eye on their kids from birth until they’re forty? Do the same, only with your subordinate leaders. Only give them the semblance of authority and independence for their region of the camp.
  3. Ask for suggestions and recommendations, and then tell people their ideas are stupid and you’re going to go with your idea anyway. See #1 and #2 above.
  4. Only implement your ideas, even if you have no idea your idea will actually work. See #3 above. And yes, only use  your ideas even if you’ve never tested them out or only used them in a small part of your camp. I mean, if your new perimeter search plan works in your quadrant (say, Quadrant C), it’s definitely going to work in Quadrant B, even though the Quadrant B leader has told you that he/she knows their quadrant and your plan just will not work for that part of the camp. Maybe there’s  heavier zombie activity there (or whatever). If the leader disagrees with you and tries to point out your flaws, shut them down, and they yell at them in private later. Also tell them that you “will talk to people” to get you idea/plan put in place because  you don’t need that subordinate messing with your grand plans.
  5. Tell people their ideas are crap and that you disagree with them. All the time. Even interrupt them to say this.
  6. Tell your subordinate leaders that you’re “a team” and you want to “work together with them to make the camp run smoothly and even grow” but make all decisions unilaterally. Because, as #3 and #4 indicate, only your ideas are good enough to put into practice. Even if those ideas will doom your camp.
  7. Be offended if people give you pointers about how you could increase camp efficiency/supplies/wealth/whatever. Because you know best, you must be the best leader, so everyone else is an idiot.
  8. Give in to your delusions of grandeur. Your subordinates hate you, but YOU WILL BECOME THE BIGGEST AND BEST SURVIVAL CAMP EVER. Because your delusions say so.
  9. Tell your people they can’t loot. Instead, you will find SPONSORS. Because everyone out there will agree that your camp is the best and will grow to take over the world, they will just give you stuff. Of course, you’re not going to give them anything in return, and, in fact, you tell your subordinate leaders that they have no bartering budget. I mean, they’re going to be your sponsors.
  10. Insist on monthly staff meetings, where you will tell your subordinate leaders that you’ve got LOTS of great ideas and that their ideas are all stupid, but they’re doing great jobs. But, you know, you know best. So they have to follow all your ideas and plans, even if they’re unpractical. And even though you don’t actually have direct contact with the “regular people.” I mean, did Caesar deal with the common people? Of course not. He had people to deal with the peasants.
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    So do you.

In the midst of all this, make sure you share your plans of growing and expanding the survival camp so that it stretches across the old country (whatever country that happens to be). Tell people that they have to BELIEVE IN THE MISSION. Also tell people that others will give you stuff (ie food and supplies) (for nothing in return) because THEY BELIEVE IN THE MISSION too.

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Fundraising for the new ICoS real-life survival bunker

Posted on by char

Hi everyone! It’s Char (remember me?). Apologies for my long absence (if you haven’t noticed I’ve been gone, I will throw you to the zombies, see if I don’t), but I’ve been away working on a super seekrit project for ICoS. I know none of you have even heard of this project, but that’s kinda the point of it being super and seekrit. What have I been doing? I’ve been wandering around Canada looking for the perfect place for the brand new, real-life ICoS underground bunker. (Holy hell you guys, this search took FOREVER. My family is sick of the inside of Canada. It looks much better on the wall map.)

Okay, the ICoS bunker. At first I thought maybe the bunker should be near water so we can have a constant post-apoc water supply (because we all know how important water is). So I trekked over to the east coast. I wasn’t quite happy with that (too much Stephen Harper and Marine Land, really) so I went over to Saskatoba the Prairies to see what I could find. After all, what better place to build a bunker than a place that has swaths and swaths of flat land? With farms! Which could come in handy post-apocalypse (just sayin’.)

But dude, Saskatoba. The rolling plains of wheat almost buried me alive (I’m short, you know). So I kept going west. And then I thought, “Mountains!” Natural fortification, right? Also, they’re tall and cold in the winter, so maybe the zombies will die long before they get to the bunker’s elevation.

After much hiking, camping, and running away from bears, I found the perfect ICoS mountain getaway location for the underground bunker. I could’ve kept going west, but Vancouver gets too much rain and I was sick of seeing the inside of my minivan. (Canada’s a big place, y’all. How long have I been absent from ICoS?)

Continue reading “Fundraising for the new ICoS real-life survival bunker”

Don't be Fat… Or Do.

Posted on by tavia.

This isn’t about how I saw some obese person in the mall and thought to myself, “I’d never want a fat person in my apocalypse party because they’ll ruin everything.

No, this is about me being a chunk monster and realizing that I’m at a huge disadvantage and might want to either do something about it or look it in the eye and acknowledge it while planning my survival.

Jamie, Anninyn and Char have talked about getting fit for the apocalypse by running, walking and learning to fight. I talk about social manipulation and staying pretty…

It’s not that I don’t value physical fitness; it’s that I’m really bad at it.

That’s the saying after all: Write what you know.

I know about being chubby and weird and kind of good looking if I put some work in.

The problem is being fat, unlike being Black or a woman or Gay or ugly, is a very real disadvantage in an apocalypse. Not only because you’ll be less physically fit than your fellow survivors but also because everything about survival becomes infinitely harder.

A few things I know I’ll have to consider as a fat girl in the post apocalypse: Continue reading “Don't be Fat… Or Do.”

5 Apocalyptic Lessons to Learn From TV

Posted on by tavia.

Art imitates life or Life imitates art depending on how you choose to live. No living person has been able to explore the depths of apocalyptic life the way television has– and we could learn a few lessons.

From the human on human violence of 28 Days Later to the choices made in The Walking Dead, we could learn a thing or two about some of the choices we might have to make in a post-apocalyptic world.

Continue reading “5 Apocalyptic Lessons to Learn From TV”

What's the first thing you wash in the shower?

Posted on by tavia.

One of the many frivolous things I wonder about when I’m wondering about post-apocalyptic life is hygiene. I’ve gone on at length about my lady parts, their mechanics, and how I plan to keep them baby free and satisfied. But recently I’ve been thinking about cleanliness.

Well, recently is a lie. I think about cleanliness daily and lady-specific cleanliness almost every time I see women surviving the end of the world alongside men. The Monthly Mess is one thing and The Daily Funk is another.

“The daily what now?” you may wonder. The running and sweating and wearing the same clothes day in and day out and not having toilet paper all add up to The Daily Funk.

Continue reading “What's the first thing you wash in the shower?”

Thanksgiving

Posted on by tavia.

Thanksgiving is a tradition celebrated by many cultures around the world. The third Thursday in November is the one I’m most accustomed to here in America.

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We thank the pilgrims and the settlers for braving the ocean and slaughtering the Native Americans so we could eventually build the shopping malls we camp out in front of the morning after so we can get the best sale prices.

We also thank the Native Americans for being so easily to betray and murder so we could feel bad enough about it to force our children to act out plays reminding us of that time we[1. By “we” I mean white people who go back generations. My people haven’t oppressed, enslaved, or exterminated anyone.] shouldn’t have done that thing.

In the post apocalypse, I propose we hold fast to the tradition of a big, important holiday focused around being thankful for what we have.

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Imagine the laundry list of things you’d be thankful for in the post apocalypse if you had the chance to stop and be thankful. Life for instance. Food to sustain that life. Shelter to protect that life. People who are also alive to share that food, shelter, and safety with.

But an annual Thanksgiving won’t cut it in the post apocalypse. An entire YEAR on the run from zombies or poachers or robots?! That’s when you’re truly thankful I’m sure. That’s when you start to think, “Shit, this is really possible!”

Personally, I think every post apocalypse party or team needs an eternal optimist. I have a set of cousins-in-law who are like this. They celebrate everything. They look forward to everything.

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They’re the smiley-est, most pleased, positive thinkers I’ve ever met.

I sounds insufferable to some– it sounds insufferable to me– but unless you can match their optimism in pessimism it’s infectious and before you know it you’re happy too. Unlike them, you might not know what you’re happy about but you just feel better.

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This is the kind of infection you want running rampant in the apocalypse. You’ll want someone who’ll stop everyone in their tracks and say, “Hey! We just crossed  a border let’s make up a border dance and thank everyone on Team Awesome for getting us here!”

Maybe weekly or on a per-milestone basis, in the post apocalypse, we need to ensure to give thanks as freely as we run for our lives.

Hunger.

Posted on by anninyn

Let’s talk about hunger. You probably think you know what it is to be hungry, right?

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Your stomach growls, and you get more and more obsessed with food the longer you are unable to eat. But chances are (if our stats are correct) that you’re a person from a western, industrialised country who has never really expereinced proper hunger. You may have eaten crap for a day or two, or a week or two, or a month or two. You lived on beans while in university. You only have one or two proper meals a day while you’re on the dole. These all suck and leave you hungry.

But the thing is, that’s not proper hunger.

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Thats ‘wealthy, powerful country’ hunger. That’s not the hunger of having NO meals for the last week, of being forced into eating rubbish or rats or weeds from the garden. You’d turn your nose up at those, because even though you may be poor, there is still food available for you that isn’t that awful.

There won’t be when the end happens. Finding food will become more unlikely and fraught. Fussyness will not happen. Thee’ll come a point where you kill a rat and eat it – maybe even raw, because your hunger is now so intense that something that foul doesn’t matter to you.

I don’t say these things to scold or scare you, but to prepare you. Start letting go of your rich-country food prejudices. I’d still say avoid eating dogs and cats, because they’re invaluable for killing vermin and protecting you, but if feral dogs attack you, don’t waste the meat. Most things are edible, even if they taste bad, just remember that. Don’t let hunger drive you to it, accept it early on and it’ll be more easy to deal with.

See, the problem with not knowing what is actually edible and what isn’t, and allowing squeamishness to make your food decisions for you, is that in desperate situations you are then completely ignorant as to waht you can eat or not.

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Hunger my then drive you to poisonous berries and mushrooms, because you don’t know that dandelion leaves are perfectly fine (if bitter).

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It might drive you to eat your shoe leather because you can’t let go of the idea that, psot-apocalypse, your pet bunny is better as a source of meat than as something to cuddle.

Hunger. Don’t let it win.