For-profit Corporate Care Centers: Why Don't Corporations Literally Invest in Children?

With all the children living on the streets, in orphanages, or in prisons, maybe the best solution to the issue of these discarded children is one we haven’t tried yet: For-profit Corporate Care Centers.

Okay, hear me out. I understand that corporations, even though they can sometimes be considered people, can’t provide everything children need to be successful humans. Mainly, a loving household and the social-emotional whatever that teaches children how to act right in society. However, corporations can afford to hire people to provide those things. Continue reading “For-profit Corporate Care Centers: Why Don't Corporations Literally Invest in Children?”

Should I take my pets?

I recently got kittened. My new pets spent the last two months turning my life and my house upside down. They’re wonderful little weirdos, and I love them more than I love most people.

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Which is why I will go out of my way to save my pets in the event of an apocalypse, while leaving you to die in the dust.

The problem is that this choice doesn’t really go along with my reputation of ‘super-together, hard-hearted practical survivor’, so I’ve been wracking my brain to think of at least semi-logical reasons for this choice. To, you know, justify it to the people who think they’re better survivalists than me because they’ve genuinely shut down all their ‘give-a-shit’ parts, even though that just makes them a dangerous sociopath.

So here are my totally-logical-not-based-on-loving-the-tiny-squeebles-enough-to-explode reasons to keep your pets post-apocalypse.

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Oh, and I’m going to put pictures of my cats in this post. You have been warned.

Continue reading “Should I take my pets?”

The Land of The Video Game Apocalypse

Video games and the apocalypse go hand in hand. Player One is always that one guy with shit to do and an appointment on Tuesday trying to make his (or her) way through this mess and help all these people out—how’d they survive before Player One came along?

But, we keep coming back to these needy people in their dangerous world because of some romanticism that we can hack it, fix it, or beat it into submission.

Of all the video game apocalypses, which is the worst; which is the best? Is it the overwhelming zombies of Resident Evil, the galactic invasions of Mass Effect, the aggressive extermination in Halo, or some other hellish scenario?

If given the choice, I’d find this Unicorn Apocalypse from the Samsung Mobile commercials and be there. I don’t know all the details of Unicorn Apocalypse I just know those are two things I need to see in one place in order to die happy.

Some of my favorite and most feared video game apocalypses

Continue reading “The Land of The Video Game Apocalypse”

5 Burning Pre-Apocalypse Questions

In Case of Survival is all about answering the tough questions you may never have had. In case you haven’t noticed, the blog is extremely speculative when it comes to giving advice. We have to be because there hasn’t been an apocalypse to test any methods out yet.

Some major questions I have about the apocalypse I don’t think we need to wait for the apocalypse to answer:

1. Will you get sick from eating city pigeons?

They’re everywhere in every city and we eat foul all the time but pigeons are more like sky rats and I’d be hard pressed to eat a rat.

All the pigeons in my city are kind of deformed and hobbled so I’m not even sure if they’re even fit to live much less if whatever is wasting away their brains will be contracted after they’re cooked and ingested.

2. Will you go insane if you never go out during the day?

I know we need vitamin D, but we can get it from other sources like how sailors got their C from citrus fruits to avoid scurvy. But if there’s some compelling reason to avoid the daylight forever, will we go mad or die?

In my mind, it seem like we would but I can’t rationalize why.

3. Will cannibalism really make people crazy?

We’ve seen a number of examples where people start to go a bit mad from eating other people because they think it’s a easy food source but is there any evidence to support that? Are cannibalistic tribesmen loony?

Sure the cows went mad but those are cows and hardly the same as people, right? Right?

4. Do predatory viruses go after the weakest or the strongest?

I’m not going to carry you up a hill if you can’t leg it yourself, but I’m also not going to worry too much about your zombified Gran chasing me. Sweet, power walking. Maybe even throw down a few chairs for her to traverse. But will a virus, or other organism that is designed to spread and multiply, target the strongest or the weakest?

It would make sense to target the strongest because you spread better and last longer but it’s easier to infiltrate the weakest…

5. Does the government really have a plan for SHTF-level emergencies?

If I show up at my local rally point will I be greeted by a bunch of volunteers who never thought this would happen or by people who have matching binders with plans outlined for what to do in case something like this happened?

Will this rally point be defensible or just big enough to hold people. Will there be quarantine locations and rape prevention strategies[1. rape in “safe camps” is always an issue. I mean you can’t just be thankful you’re alive, you gotta go ruining everything for everyone. Personally, If you’re caught raping in my safe camp you’ll be strung up and castrated with no medical attention after the fact. If you bleed out or get infected, Whatever.] and 17 levels of team leaders?

I’m not saying I need the government, but I need order and without it I’d rather be on my own.

 

If you have any answers to these questions, please share!

 

Bonus Question:

When’s it okay to start looting?

Post-Apocalyptic Would You Rather

Would You Rather is a game where you’re tasked with choosing between two terrible things you don’t want. It’s usually nasty things like, “seeing you parents have sex or your parents seeing you having sex.” Ew. Not a game I like playing.

So I changed it up a bit. I’m curious about what everyone thinks is a better or worse apocalyptic scenario. Keep in mind, my day job is in market research so I’m kind of curious and inquisitive by nature AND training.

Would You Rather: Aliens or Robots?

Aliens could swoop in and just burn this place to the ground, or they could infiltrate and slowly destroy us from the inside out.

Robots, usually through some failing or hubris or man, would likely become a vital part of our societies then snap like JLo in Enough.

[poll id=”6″]

Would You Rather: City or Country?

Surviving in the City would not only mean scavenging and crumbling structures, but also pre-made everything to use or live in.

Surviving in the country would mean starting from scratch, catching or growing food, and braving the wildlife.

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 Would You Rather: Slavery or Rebellion?

Both seem like so much work! At least with slavery you have food and shelter and consistency. On the other hand, rebels can take naps and drink and fornicate at will.

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Would You Rather: A Dictator or Anarchy?

While I never paid much mind to government, I hear dictators make it their business to be touch the lives of all their subjects in some way. Fall in line and it could be a good way.

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Anarchy could be chaotic and upsetting, or you could just slip out the back and go check out the country living. And when the bandits come to raid your homestead you’re free to shoot them and string them up as a warning to any who come after.

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 Would You Rather: Lose everyone at once or Lose everyone over time?

It’s like pulling of a band-aid, do it fast and then get over it.

Alternatively, you could utilize the skills and build relationships with people overtime.

Both would probably drive you mad.

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*shrugs*

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Would You Rather: Eat People or be a Vegan?

They both have their downsides. Murder on the one hand and being Vegan on the other…

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Would You Rather: Lose an Arm or Lose a Leg?

Things are going to fall, lasers might be fired… Which do you value the least, your arm or your leg?

[poll id=”12″]

Would You Rather: Survive with your Mom or you Dad?

Yup. When you think of people the least likely to survive an apocalypse, you’re parents are probably on there. Mine are. Bare in mind that you’ll probably have to watch them die when they lose their glasses or stop and ask a bandit for directions.

[poll id=”13″]

Would You Rather: Your Co-Workers or Your Neighbors?

Honestly, I wouldn’t know my neighbors if the walked up and punched me in the face.

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They don’t look especially durable…

Co-workers, well, I spend eight hours a day with them and certainly don’t go home and miss them…

[poll id=”14″]

Would You Rather: Candy Forever or Dehydrated Fruits and Vegetables Forever?

Imagine you and your band of survivors come across a factory that you can defend and live in. Inside is a nearly unlimited supply of food… Kind of.

[poll id=”15″]

Would You Rather: Be Hunted and Loyal or Be Safe and a Traitor?

So say there’s an antagonist, be it the government, or aliens, or an oligarchy, or Amazons. This antagonist finds out that you and yours are not playing like they’d like you to be.

They offer you a choice, give up the goods and help them find the others or take a head start and try to protect your neck.

[poll id=”16″]

If you have any suggestions for other tough choices or would like to elaborate on your decisions above, talk to us via the comments below.

Ask all the questions, avoid all the chaos

Chaotic situations are rooted in no one knowing the answers they need to to stay calm, stand still, and think about basic shit like being quite while decisions are made. To survive after the apocalypse you’ll need to limit your social chaos. How? By asking the right questions —and then having the answers and making people listen.

I’m not typically one for too much pre-planning or excessive deliberation–I’ll take as long as you give me to think about something but then end up making a spur of the moment decision anyway. However, even I realize that the simple exercise of developing a problem solving mindset that includes quickly asking the right questions and processing their answers can drastically affect the survivability of a situation.

The most basic question is usually, “What are we doing?!” or “What’s happening?!” These are valid questions that having answers to would help clam the situation down.

People might shout out other things like, “We NEED to hide!” That’s a suggestion, and a damn good one, recognize it.

Someone else might say, “We’re all gonna Diiiiie!” That’s not helpful. Shut them down quickly and with authority. They don’t deserve to talk.

With almost all situations there’s an easy way to bring order to chaos: QUESTIONS.

Continue reading “Ask all the questions, avoid all the chaos”

The President of our post-apocalypse nation

Today, in America, it’s President’s Day. A day many of us have off of work so we can take time to reflect and celebrate… Well, we make sure to take time to honor… Okay, Wikipedia says:

Washington’s Birthday is a United States federal holiday celebrated on the third Monday of February in honor of George Washington, the first President of the United States. It is also commonly known as Presidents Day (sometimes spelled Presidents’ Day or President’s Day). As Washington’s Birthday or Presidents Day, it is also the official name of a concurrent state holiday celebrated on the same day in a number of states.

Titled Washington’s Birthday, a federal holiday honoring George Washington was originally implemented by an Act of Congress in 1879 for government offices in the District of Columbia and expanded in 1885 to include all federal offices.

Today, the February holiday has become well known for being a day in which many stores, especially car dealers, hold sales. Until the late 1980s, corporate businesses generally closed on this day, similar to present corporate practices on Memorial Day or Christmas Day.

(SOURCE)

Washington’s birthday and a great day to buy cars on special, perfect.

In the past, we’ve written about what post-apocalyptic government might look like but never really considered what a post-apocalyptic attempt at normalcy might look like. If we desperately cling to our ideas about democracy and society at the end of the world until we can group together enough people to elect a local sheriff who can eventually police a local election, who would we vote for? Continue reading “The President of our post-apocalypse nation”

Sexocalypse

In a moment of madness I asked my twitter followers what they’d like me to write about. They said a Sexocalypse. Yeah.

So, that’s what I’m doing. Needless to say this is probably not safe for work.

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Continue reading “Sexocalypse”

What you should be afraid of.

Whole psychological theories have been based on what shows up in our horror films. I could go on and on about them, but as I only have an A level in Psychology, I’m sure I would be ill-informed.

But one theory that I do agree with is that fear of monsters – of zombies, vampires, demons, whatever – is simply a way of dealing with our awareness of our own capability to be monsters.

Continue reading “What you should be afraid of.”

A Discussion of CROSSED

Crossed is a graphic novel written by Garth Ennis, drawn by Jacen Burrows, and published via Avatar Press. The story is set in a world where suddenly there are people who “stop being nice, and start being real.” Unfortunately, “real” in this scenario is bloodthirsty, rape-crazy, and straight up ultra-violent.

Crossed” is how the infected in this universe are described because they develop a cross-like rash across their faces. The rash isn’t an issue. What is and issue is that fact that the infected, unlike other apocalyptic infected, want to rape you to death and mutilate you and destroy you as slowly and horrifically as possible. Because that’s fun now, and okay, because no one can or will stop them. Don’t get me wrong, the Crossed can and do feel pain — but they love it and it won’t slow them down. So, either kill them dead or don’t get caught.

One of the main themes in Crossed was not getting caught. Our protagonists pushed on and on in a constant effort to not get caught by the Crossed until eventually they realized that there are some serious flaws in a plan to live just so you won’t die.

anninyn and I both read volume one recently and needed to discuss it. So we did. Together. In detail. With spoilers, and swears, and graphic descriptions, and even some spoilers for the movie Serenity (which, if you haven’t seen you need to; so, go fix that ASAP).

Below is our discussion and we hope you join in on it if you’ve read the book too. Continue reading “A Discussion of CROSSED”