Author: char

Calgary flood: Practicing for the apocalypse

Posted on by char
A shot of downtown Calgary. source: CTV.ca
A shot of downtown Calgary. Source: ctvnews.ca. Click on image to get to original post.

So yeah, this picture? That’s downtown Calgary. Thankfully, I don’t live in downtown Calgary (or in any of the areas that got evacuated), but I do live in Calgary.

For those not in the loop (or those not in Canada), Southern Alberta has gotten a ridiculous amount of rain over the last week. When Mr. Char asked me if I’d built my ark earlier this week, I thought he was joking.

He wasn’t.

To put it another way, I’ve seen more rain in Calgary in the last week than I did the entire time I lived in Texas. In a town along the Gulf Coast — one that was decimated by Hurricane Ike back in 2008.

Yeah. It’s a lot of rain.

In fact, as I write this post, it is STILL raining. One of the city’s rivers has already crested (one of the actual rivers, not one of the makeshift street-rivers), and I would imagine the second has as well — or if it hasn’t it will shortly, and the local dam/reservoir has, to my knowledge, overflowed.

Too bad God wasn’t speaking to me earlier this week. (Or, um, ever, actually.) Also, it’s too bad I have no idea what the hell a cubit is.

Starting yesterday, huge swaths of the city were given mandatory flood evacuation orders. Those orders kept coming, and ended (I believe) sometime this morning. As of this point, at least 75,000 people in Calgary alone were booted from their homes. Some of the small towns surrounding the city have ended up under water. Some towns were evacuated in their entirety (for example, the town of Bragg Creek, about 44 km — please don’t ask me what that is in miles — west of Calgary, was completely evacuated and power to the town was shut off). Most of the town of High River is under water; enough water has collected to completely submerge vehicles. Boats are going around to rescue people stranded on rooftops.

There are only a few evacuation centres (only about 4, I think); the rest of the evacuees are being put up by friends, family, and random strangers who have opened up their homes.

It is, in a way, reminiscent of Hurricane Katrina. Only not, because we didn’t have gale force winds and mass destruction or anything like that. But as far as rainfall in a landlocked province goes, this is pretty much classified as “torrential rains.”

The mayor of Calgary is urging everyone to stay home unless it’s absolutely necessary to leave. I have NOT been evacuated. Mr. Char’s office was closed for the day, and everyone was sent home. So, for the time being, my family is at home, taking a movie (and writing) day. (I have never been happier to live at the top of the hill.)

But! For those who were evacuated — and for anyone who could possibly be evacuated for anything in the future — what do you pack? What do you take with you?

There are loads and loads of articles about this online. Any prepper worth their salt will have a Go Bag prepped and ready to go. If, however, you’re not a prepper, and you find yourself being evacuated, what do you do? Here’s a quick list (and note that it is NOT definitive):

  • Don’t panic. (Well, okay, maybe you can, but only a little bit and only in the beginning. Afterward, you’re really going to have to get your ass in gear because you’ve just lost valuable prepping time.)
  • Pack enough clothes for the length of the evacuation, plus a few days extra. For example, Calgary’s evac order is for 72 hours. So, pack clothes for a week, just in case.
  • Bring ALL prescription and necessary medication with you. This is pretty self-explanatory.
  • Take all important documents. Passports, health/immunization records, driver’s license, SIN/SSN, birth certificates, blah blah blah. You never know when you’re going to need them.
  • Bring a first aid kit. Just in case.
  • Pack supplies (ie. food and water). Because you never know when  you’re going to need them. And it’s always good to have supplies on you, especially when you’re evacuating and you don’t know when you’re going to be home.
  • Tell your neighbors you’re evacuating. That way someone knows. Also, officials here in Calgary told people to mark their doors with a giant “X” so that rescue personnel know your house is empty. That’s a good idea, too. (But that might leave your house open to looters/robbers if it gets to that point, so that’s a toss-up.)

Obviously, the above is not a complete list. If you’re being evacuated because of a flood, get important documents, pictures, etc out of the basement, or at least put them in waterproof containers. You never know what you’re going to come home to, and it might very well be a flooded basement.

To everyone in Calgary and Southern Alberta, stay safe!

And now for some pictures! (Note, I obviously didn’t take these pictures — every picture is credit to a source, usually to a news outlet. Click on the images to get to the original posts.)

CAL062113-gya-3.jpg
Stampede Park, Calgary, where the Calgary Stampede is held every year — this year’s starts in under two weeks. Source: nationalpost.com. Click on image to get to original post.
CAL062113-gya-4.jpg
Elbow River, one of the two rivers crossing Calgary. Source: nationalpost.com. Click on image to get to original post.
cougar creek
Cougar Creek in Canmore, a town in the Canadian Rockies about 100km west of Calgary. Source: ctvnews.ca. Click on the image to get to the original post.
bow river3
The Bow River (the second — and bigger — of Calgary’s two rivers) bursts its banks. Source: calgaryherald.com. Click on image to get to original post.

 

 

Drama, the survival camp, and you

Posted on by char

So over no dramathe past six months or so, I’ve realized something about myself: I hate drama. Not drama in movies or books or anything like that, but real-life drama. The kind with gossiping, rumor-mongering, backstabbing, that sort of thing. Now, I’m not saying that I’ve experienced those things in the past six months, but there’s been, well, drama. And some serious real-life flouncing. (Aside: I didn’t actually think people could flounce in real life, but it turns out they CAN.)

I have realized that if you’re going to act like a child and engage in behavior best left to grade school playgrounds, I will drop you like a hot potato. For example: if your idea of resolving conflict is to refuse to talk to the person you’ve got a problem with and instead talk to other people about that person and problem, I will drop you faster than you can say “FLOUNCING!” Or if you thrive on drama and/or cause drama because it’s fun, I will walk (possibly run) away. And yep, faster than you can say “FLOUNCING!

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”

Why? Well, for a couple of reasons. One, because life’s too short for that shit. The other, and probably more important reason, is because I’m too damn lazy to deal with that sort of crap.

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Honestly, drama takes effort. I’m a path-of-least-resistance kind of girl. You know.

This sort of behavior — and my sort of reaction (aka “run, run away”) — is all well and good now. As in, the pre-apocalypse. But what about in the post-apocalypse? (I’m assuming a terrible post-apocalypse here; the wasteland sort, possibly with zombies. Your post-apocalypse may vary.) In a survival camp, where people are doing everything possible just to stay, you know, alive, will this type of behavior be tolerated? Will drama-causers and divas be kicked out to fend for themselves?

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Or will the drama-causers and divas be the ones running the survival camp? (In which case I’m screwed.)

If it were me running a survival camp, I would likely have a no-drama policy, just because I think it’s a waste of time and effort. I’m sure there will be better things to do in camp than to recreate your junior high school experience. Of course, not tolerating drama might get me a) a massive exodus out of my survival camp; or b) ousted as benevolent dictator of said survival camp. I don’t know, it could go either way.

I think it’s possible that people will band together and overcome the urge to stir shit up and cause drama while in a life or death situation like the post-apocalypse (assuming the dire and terrible zombie wasteland type of post-apocalypse, of course).

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But I also think it’s possible that bringing people together under such stressful conditions will just bring out the worst in everybody and the drama quotient will multiply. By a factor of…well, a lot.

The cynic in me thinks that there will be drama aplenty. But that’s just me. What do you think?

Book review: The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination

Posted on by char

Mad-Scientist-Cvr_091312

The Mad Scientist’s Guide to World Domination: Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius

Editor: John Joseph Adams

Genre: Science Fiction Anthology

Publisher: Tor

Note: This review is being published simultaneously on Char’s blog, Apocalypse Mama, and here on In Case of Survival.

Blurb: 

Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy or otherwise dominate the world as we know it.

Dr. Frankenstein was the first truly mad scientist of the modern era. And where did it get him? Destroyed by his own creation. And Jules Verne’s Captain Nemo, a man ahead of his time as well as out of his head, what did he do to deserve persecution?

Even Lex Luthor, by all counts a genius, has been hindered not once, not twice, but so many times that it has taken hundreds of comic books, a few films and no fewer than ten full seasons of a television series to keep him properly thwarted.

It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide. Some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty, but you’ll recognize them. But it doesn’t matter. This guide is not for you. It’s for them, the underhanded, over-brained, paranoiacs who so desperately need our help.

What lies behind those unfocused, restless eyes and drooling, wicked grins? Why–and how–do they concoct their nefarious plots? Why are they so set on taking over the world? If you’ve ever asked yourself any of these questions, you’re in luck: Because we are exposing their secrets, aiding and abetting their evil. It all awaits, within.

Watch out, world!

Continue reading “Book review: The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination”

But what will I drink in the post-apocalypse?

Posted on by char

Apologies again for falling off the planet these past couple weeks.

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Things have been happening that have affected my ability to write (well, more like my ability to stay awake long enough to write). I’ll probably tell y’all about it someday.

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Maybe.

Anyway. Back to the apocalypse. I’m convinced we’re going to put ourselves in some sort of apocalyptic situation sooner rather than later (I’m rather fond of the we’ll-blow-ourselves-up theory), so I’m starting to focus on all the little trivial things more than I used to.

For example! What will we drink during the apocalypse and the post-apocalypse?

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Worst case scenarios usually revolve around a lack of water. But, you know, human beings need liquids and all that to survive. So without water, what will we drink?

What about beer? We talk a lot about rum and moisturizer, so it’s not too farfetched to think that some of us would drink beer. (Um, right?)

Specifically, this beer:

zombie apocalypse beer
Beer my husband drank at his dad’s house. No, for real. This beer exists. Right now.

Of course, this beer would be AWESOME during an actual zombie apocalypse, but it’ll probably still be okay during the robot apocalypse or the evil space pirate monkey apocalypse. Or a Borg invasion.

Well, okay, maybe not the Borg. But you know what I mean.

On another note, does anyone know if there’s a zombie apocalypse rum available? Because that would be full of awesome.

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10 ways to ensure your survival camp followers toss you to the zombies

Posted on by char

So you’re a survival camp dictator tyrant leader. Congrats! You’ve got a bunch of people looking to you to keep them alive (no pressure or anything). Of course, now you have to lead them in a way that not only keeps them safe, but keeps them happy.

Because, you know, unhappy campers usually means a leader doesn’t last long. Especially in the post-apocalypse, where I’d imagine life could be very dog-eat-dog, and if you’re not up to par, they’ll toss you to the zombies and put someone else in the leader’s chair.

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Here are 10 ways to ensure your survival camp followers toss you over the wall to be zombie food:

  1. Micromanage. Manage every detail. Make sure you’ve got your hand in every pie.
  2. Be a helicopter supervisor. In the event that you decide to delegate and assign “regional leaders” (or whatever you want to call them), be a helicopter supervisor. You’ve heard of helicopter parents, right? You know, the ones who hover and keep an eye on their kids from birth until they’re forty? Do the same, only with your subordinate leaders. Only give them the semblance of authority and independence for their region of the camp.
  3. Ask for suggestions and recommendations, and then tell people their ideas are stupid and you’re going to go with your idea anyway. See #1 and #2 above.
  4. Only implement your ideas, even if you have no idea your idea will actually work. See #3 above. And yes, only use  your ideas even if you’ve never tested them out or only used them in a small part of your camp. I mean, if your new perimeter search plan works in your quadrant (say, Quadrant C), it’s definitely going to work in Quadrant B, even though the Quadrant B leader has told you that he/she knows their quadrant and your plan just will not work for that part of the camp. Maybe there’s  heavier zombie activity there (or whatever). If the leader disagrees with you and tries to point out your flaws, shut them down, and they yell at them in private later. Also tell them that you “will talk to people” to get you idea/plan put in place because  you don’t need that subordinate messing with your grand plans.
  5. Tell people their ideas are crap and that you disagree with them. All the time. Even interrupt them to say this.
  6. Tell your subordinate leaders that you’re “a team” and you want to “work together with them to make the camp run smoothly and even grow” but make all decisions unilaterally. Because, as #3 and #4 indicate, only your ideas are good enough to put into practice. Even if those ideas will doom your camp.
  7. Be offended if people give you pointers about how you could increase camp efficiency/supplies/wealth/whatever. Because you know best, you must be the best leader, so everyone else is an idiot.
  8. Give in to your delusions of grandeur. Your subordinates hate you, but YOU WILL BECOME THE BIGGEST AND BEST SURVIVAL CAMP EVER. Because your delusions say so.
  9. Tell your people they can’t loot. Instead, you will find SPONSORS. Because everyone out there will agree that your camp is the best and will grow to take over the world, they will just give you stuff. Of course, you’re not going to give them anything in return, and, in fact, you tell your subordinate leaders that they have no bartering budget. I mean, they’re going to be your sponsors.
  10. Insist on monthly staff meetings, where you will tell your subordinate leaders that you’ve got LOTS of great ideas and that their ideas are all stupid, but they’re doing great jobs. But, you know, you know best. So they have to follow all your ideas and plans, even if they’re unpractical. And even though you don’t actually have direct contact with the “regular people.” I mean, did Caesar deal with the common people? Of course not. He had people to deal with the peasants.
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    So do you.

In the midst of all this, make sure you share your plans of growing and expanding the survival camp so that it stretches across the old country (whatever country that happens to be). Tell people that they have to BELIEVE IN THE MISSION. Also tell people that others will give you stuff (ie food and supplies) (for nothing in return) because THEY BELIEVE IN THE MISSION too.

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April Fool's

Posted on by char

In case you haven’t already figured it out (it probably wasn’t that hard though), my last post was an April Fool’s joke. Sadly, ICoS isn’t really building bunkers (but maybe some day!).

Okay, so for real, I am back at ICoS (though I never really left). I may not get a post up every week, but I’m hoping for at least every other week. Lots of stuff still happening in my offline life (which is weird and takes getting used to) but I miss you guys. I also miss talking about zombies. And evil robot space monkeys.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m no longer with the non-profit organization that I had been with not too long ago. I disagreed with…things, and after some time decided it would be best if I left. Because yeah. I don’t have the energy to deal with the kind of stuff I had to deal with >_<.

So yes, basically the point of this post was to say that my last post was a joke and to say that I will be posting more often in the future. Watch for more random shit from me. The random is coming.

Char

Fundraising for the new ICoS real-life survival bunker

Posted on by char

Hi everyone! It’s Char (remember me?). Apologies for my long absence (if you haven’t noticed I’ve been gone, I will throw you to the zombies, see if I don’t), but I’ve been away working on a super seekrit project for ICoS. I know none of you have even heard of this project, but that’s kinda the point of it being super and seekrit. What have I been doing? I’ve been wandering around Canada looking for the perfect place for the brand new, real-life ICoS underground bunker. (Holy hell you guys, this search took FOREVER. My family is sick of the inside of Canada. It looks much better on the wall map.)

Okay, the ICoS bunker. At first I thought maybe the bunker should be near water so we can have a constant post-apoc water supply (because we all know how important water is). So I trekked over to the east coast. I wasn’t quite happy with that (too much Stephen Harper and Marine Land, really) so I went over to Saskatoba the Prairies to see what I could find. After all, what better place to build a bunker than a place that has swaths and swaths of flat land? With farms! Which could come in handy post-apocalypse (just sayin’.)

But dude, Saskatoba. The rolling plains of wheat almost buried me alive (I’m short, you know). So I kept going west. And then I thought, “Mountains!” Natural fortification, right? Also, they’re tall and cold in the winter, so maybe the zombies will die long before they get to the bunker’s elevation.

After much hiking, camping, and running away from bears, I found the perfect ICoS mountain getaway location for the underground bunker. I could’ve kept going west, but Vancouver gets too much rain and I was sick of seeing the inside of my minivan. (Canada’s a big place, y’all. How long have I been absent from ICoS?)

Continue reading “Fundraising for the new ICoS real-life survival bunker”

Book review: The Last Donut Shop of the Apocalypse

Posted on by char

The Last Donut Shop of the Apocalypse by Nina Post

Publisher: Curiosity Quills Press

Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher.

Amazon blurb:

As Pothole City races to rebuild, a bounty hunter-turned-building manager must find a missing Cluck Snack executive, settle a bitter dispute between warring donut shops, and foil yet another plot that threatens to eradicate the single-purpose angels.
After narrowly preventing the last apocalypse, Kelly Driscoll finds herself with an unlikely day job. She’s the interim manager of Amenity Tower, one of the few buildings still left standing in the rubble of Pothole City. But after answering a mysterious phone call, she signs up for a new mission that’s a perfect match for her skills: locating the missing president of the famed Cluck Snack brand.

As Kelly quickly learns, the missing executive is only the beginning of Pothole City’s problems. The city’s leading donut shops — run by two very different Gorgon monster siblings — are engaged in a bitter territorial dispute. Plus, the residents of Kelly’s building have hatched a new plot to kill the beloved single-purpose angels and set the stage for another apocalypse.

Teaming up again with her allies from the first book — including Af the Angel of Destruction, Stringfellow the ferret, and Tubiel and the other single-purpose angels — Kelly is up for the challenge. But can she rescue the missing president and restore peace between the donut shops before Pothole City is destroyed yet again?

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Book review: The Facebook Diet by Gemini Adams

Posted on by char

The Facebook Diet by Gemini Adams

Release date: January 30, 2013

Publisher: Living Consciously Publishing

Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for this review.

Also note that this review is being posted on both Apocalypse Mama and In Case of Survival.

Blurb:

There are now 1 billion people on Facebook. That’s 1 in every 7 people on the planet. And 34% of all users check their account before brushing their teeth or hair in the mornings!  

Everyone can confess to an addictive Facebook habit, whether it’s stalking an ex, faking bathroom breaks to read news, checking-in wherever they go, or art-directing photo’s for the perfect profile pic.

The Facebook Diet (the first in The Unplug Series) takes a tongue-in-cheek look at this love for social media, featuring 50 hilarious cartoons that pinpoint the more idiotic, embarrassing and cringe-worthy behaviors of this modern approach to communication.   It’s the ideal gift for Facebook junkies everywhere. Helping them find light-relief and the ability to laugh at this tech-takeover, which may inspire them to occasionally unplug with a tech-detox.

 

What I liked:

  • The humorous look at the Facebook addiction
  • The illustrations

What I didn’t like:

  • The length (it was awfully short)
  • While it was funny, I have to admit there were parts I didn’t enjoy as much

The review:

So this is a cute little book. It’s a humorous take on people’s addiction to Facebook (which some people doubtless have). There are illustrations for each of the points the author makes; in my opinion, the illustrations are the best part of the book. And really, this book could be about anyone with a tech addiction, be it online gaming, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, or whatever else is out there on the Interwebs.

From my understanding, the point the author is trying to make is not that we’re all addicted and at the mercy of Mark Zuckerberg (that may just be a side effect). Rather, Gemini Adams’ point is that we should all take the time every now and again to just unplug. Turn off the computer. Put the phone down. Go see a movie, watch TV, read a book. Or heck, go talk to that other adult living in your house. You know, the one standing next to you in that picture on your wall — that picture, the big one, the one people say is of you on your wedding day.

I laughed at many of the points because it describes me on a lot of days, albeit with Twitter, not Facebook. (Not gonna lie, Twitter is my mind-crack. Sorry, Mr. Zuckerberg.) However, that being said, some of the humor just didn’t resonate with me. Humor is a very subjective thing, though; while I didn’t find much of the book funny, you might.

In any case, anyone who’s ever used Facebook should give this one a flip-through. The illustrations are great.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Fight the Bite, Part 3: The second class

Posted on by char

The first part of this post series, my interview with The Forge instructor and Fight the Bite organizer Tim, was published on Monday. Part 2, about the first class of the workshop, was published on Wednesday. This post is the last of the three-part series.

Note: this is a sponsored post. While In Case of Survival was not paid for this series of posts, I did receive a significant discount on the class because of it.

Also note: this post is long. Go grab a coffee. I’ll wait. Back? Good. Let’s begin.

In the first class, we learned basic defensive skills, how to properly punch someone in the face, how to fall properly, and how to avoid getting eaten by the boss-level pet zombies. Congrats! You’re on your way to surviving the zombie apocalypse.

Continue reading “Fight the Bite, Part 3: The second class”