Apocalyptic Fiction: Macabry’s Fail-Safe Apocalyptic Preparation Tips

I’d like to introduce to you, readers of In Case of Survival, Macabry T. Cat. What, you ask, does a Feline have anything to do with surviving the apocalypse? Let’s see here:

It has recently occurred to Macabry—what, with mystical Mayan calendars and Evangelical Christians—that the Apocalypse might be imminent.

What’s a cat to do?

Well, that depends on the form Dear Doomsday decides to take.

For instance, in the event there is a Zombie Apocalypse, Macabry suggests perfecting ones’ Brain Harvesting Ability…

 

…and afterwards, honing those Brain-Eating Etiquette skills.


But what if the Horror Junkies were wrong? What if the Apocalypse simply means the Sun decides to take some much-needed R&R?

Macabry suggests stocking up on parkas, hats, mittens, ect.  Maybe grow an extra winter coat or two.  Prepare for the Big Freeze.

 

And since Brain won’t be on the menu any more, better stock up on Non-Perishable Food Items, ensuring you have a diverse selection to guarantee balanced nutrition.

And, as any Feline worth his Tuna-Breath would know, it is ABSOLUTELY IMPERITIVE to take utmost care of his Extra Nine Lives.  They might just come in handy when the cannibals show up.

Macabry and his- helper? Handler? can be found at The Cozy Little Plot.

SLVitale

Macabry is a cat. I am not. Unfortunately due to his Conspicuous Lack of Opposable Thumbs (medically abbreviated, “CLOT”) I have been hired—paid in tuna fish—to transcribe his thoughts, aspirations, musings, and criticisms. Enough about me. Macabry T. Cat prefers to keep his private life out of the public eye (because the Public Eye has better than 20-20 vision when it comes to the three S’s: Scandals, Secrets, and Sacrilege.) He lives in the Gostetown Cemetery–but you’ll never find him. Most important information can be gleaned from the annotated diagram found in the first post.

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