Free Hellevator Rides to Adorable Boss Battles

It’s no secret that I have an obsession with adorable violence. Therefore, no one will be surprised by my response to Hellevator: Ohmigawd, Yes!

Unfortunately, there isn’t a ton of information about Hellevator aside from the overview and download link. However, there is also a handy trailer and a cheeky little write-up.


Dark Souls crushing your soul? Needing a cute hit but craving that spooky-grim vibe? Hellevator has you covered!

Hellevator | Lil Death | Scope it Down Studios
Hellevator | Lil Death | Scope it Down Studios

Hellevator teams you up with the Devil himself in a ‘boss rush’ style game to escape the Circles of Hell. As the only son of the Grim Reaper, you must combine your strength with Lucifer’s and face the denizen of each level in a fast-paced, dark-fantasy boss rush game.
Oh, and an elevator is involved.
Experience the thrill of successive boss battles without the grinding to reach them. Slash, block and dodge your way to freedom, and experience the charming 3D underworld of Hellevator for yourself.

Continue reading “Free Hellevator Rides to Adorable Boss Battles”

GIANT BABY ZOMBIES: Language Game

Learning a language is a hard but important undertaking. I’m constantly starting and then forgetting to finish courses on DuoLingo. Hopefully, Giant Baby Zombies is the answer.
Giant Baby Zombies is a game that forces you to learn a language to beat it and save the world. Appealing to our sense of vanity might be the answer to forcing growth and development.
Maybe if the future of the world depends remembering the difference between camisa and comida people might be able to commit.
Zombies, Run was able to convince me to stay active because of an interesting apocalyptic story (and making me feel important). Maybe Wise Punch Games’ Giant Baby Zombies can get me to exercise my mind. Just the title is getting my imagination going… that’s part of the mind.
While language is important now, it will be will become especially relevant when navigating the post-apocalyptic world.

Giant Baby Zombies will launch around New Year’s Resolution season in 2018.

A batch of contaminated vaccines shipped to major cities around the world has led to an outbreak of Giant Baby Zombies. But not all is lost, their humanity can be restored. Your biggest challenge, as a military programmer, is operating an 1960’s supercomputer in a language you do not know how to speak yet. Launch state-of-the-art audio rockets that contain de-zombifying chemicals, and most importantly an 8-track cassette tape of a local language, recognized by the Giant Baby Zombies. What will you choose to learn? Japanese, Chinese, Irish, Spanish, Filipino, or English?
Name: Giant Baby Zombies
Price: $14.99
Release date: Early 2018
Platform: PC and Apple Mac on Steam
WebsiteGiantBabyZombies.com

Holy High Hell, Heaven is a Place on Steam!

I want to go to there.” There being High Hell because it’s essentially everything I’ve ever wanted in a first-person shooter: self-deprecating humor, violence, great graphics (based on the style, it’s beautiful).
High Hell looks like a cross between GoldenEye 007 for the Nintendo 64 and the Adult Swim show Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell.

Check out the trailer for High Hell by Devolver Digital


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Let's Talk about Sex… and Birth Control.

Step one to survival is being prepared for the worst before having to actually survive the worst. Some might say one of the worst consequences of sex is pregnancy. Fortunately, birth control exists to prevent pregnancy– If you’re prepared.

All of the many forms of birth control seek to accomplish the same goal: prevent pregnancy before it happens.

Some methods are for use before sex. Some for use after; and a few for use during sex. Regardless of the method, it’s imperative to have a plan if your plan isn’t to make a baby.
Planned Parenthood does a fantastic job outlining the many birth control options the world currently has to offer. They even offer a handy quiz to help you determine what the best method might be for you.
The Pill or condoms might be a great option while we’re living in the current state of things and shit has yet to hit the fan. However, after an apocalyptic event, while we’re seeking comfort in the private parts of others, The Morning After pill might be the best option. Continue reading “Let's Talk about Sex… and Birth Control.”

Survival Strategies to Stay Safe While Traveling Abroad | Infographic

This is a guest post by our ally Mike from Mike’s Gear Reviews

If you’re traveling abroad this summer what are your key priorities? Passport? Check. Suitcases crammed full of your finest shorts and vests? Check and check. How about safety equipment and items that could be the difference between survival or not? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Often it’s overlooked by many of us, but having essential safety equipment stowed away in your luggage is a vital component to having a stress free and safe vacation. Can you imagine being stuck in a remote location after a day of rock climbing, suffering a wound and not having a first aid kit to patch you up until help arrives? In some cases that could be the difference.
What about emergency services? Do you know the correct numbers to call in a foreign land? 999 isn’t universal. Quickly, it becomes apparent that personal safety is often neglected when it comes to preparing for a vacation, but fortunately, Mike’s Gear Reviews are on hand to give you the correct information you need to enjoy a safe and sound trip abroad. Read on and discover the essential bits of information for surviving in a foreign country!. Continue reading “Survival Strategies to Stay Safe While Traveling Abroad | Infographic”

Likely Apocalypses: Asteroid Apocalypse

It’s time to look at another possible apocalypse! (This is actually the last in our series of likely apocalypses, so if you have any ideas for other things that could wipe us off the face the planet, let us know!) This month’s apocalypse is an asteroid or meteor strike. (Probably an asteroid.) Unlike some of the possibilities we’ve looked at, this one doesn’t give us much control. There aren’t a whole lot of things we can do at the moment to nudge an asteroid if it’s on a collision course with the planet. (And, you know, sending Ben Affleck to nuke an asteroid isn’t really the world’s best solution to inevitable doom and destruction.) One day we might be able to use the USS Enterprise to pull an asteroid away with its tractor beam, but at the moment, we have…uh, we have Ben Affleck, Bruce Willis, and some nukes.
Let’s face it: in the grand scheme of things, Earth is a sitting duck. I mean, it’s not exactly going anywhere. (Relative to some astronomical objects, that is. You know, like asteroids.) Compared to the much more mobile asteroids, meteors, and comets, Earth is…well, it’s stationary. Which means that it’s a pretty easy target. And we know that we’re not immune to space bombardment — there are impact craters all over the world; currently, the Earth Impact Database has 190 confirmed “impact structures.” Okay, so 190 doesn’t seem like a lot, considering how big the planet really is, but have you looked at the moon lately? Impact craters, ahoy!
Anyway, my point is, asteroids, meteorites, and other assorted hurtling space objects have the ability to wipe us all out. The possibility is there, and it pops up every now and again.

What would an apocalypse by an asteroid look like?

Well, it wouldn’t be pretty. Big boom, lots of destruction, ash and debris covering the sun, doom, despair, yada yada. I mean, the dinosaurs aren’t here to talk about what they went through, but I can’t imagine it was anything fun.
The immediate impact zone would be obliterated instantly, but the rest of the world would probably die a slow and painful death. Lack of sunlight would mean less plant growth, which would mean less food, which would mean starvation. The water supply would probably be cut off or contaminated to some extent. The Internet would be cut off. People would lament the loss of funny cat videos and Instagram photos of people’s lunches. People would riot (because people always riot; also, see: no Internet). People would die. People would eat each other when the food ran out (well, hopefully not, but who knows). People would turn into zombies (kidding).
Of course, that’s assuming it’s a large asteroid, one capable of triggering an extinction event similar to the K-T event (the one that killed off the dinosaurs). If were smaller, then it would look a bit different. So, in that case, maybe things on Earth would change just enough to make it difficult or impossible for humanity to survive. For example, maybe the soil changes just enough so that crops won’t grow. Or it would “just” wipe out a major city or two. Or, like the Tunguska event, there would be damage, but not mass destruction.
I suppose, in some ways, that anything is possible, depending on the size of the asteroid and where on the planet it actually hits.

How likely is an asteroid apocalypse?

Impacts from space objects/debris are actually fairly common, but most of those are pretty small and land in places where no one notices. However, large meteorites (objects that actually hit the planet are called meteorites), especially extinction-triggering ones like Apophis, are rare. So while I don’t think a full-on extinction event is likely, a smaller but still devastating impact could be.

What could we do to survive an asteroid apocalypse?

Avoiding a collision with an asteroid would be ideal, really. I mean, if nothing hits us, then it would be super easy to survive, right? (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)
So, how do we avoid an asteroid impact? Send Bruce Willis and his scrappy team of drillers to nuke it out of orbit, obviously. (But in case our intrepid team is unavailable, I’m sure Elon Musk will come up with something.)
In all seriousness, I’m not exactly sure how we would truly be able to avoid an asteroid impact if one was on a collision course with Earth. NASA is currently working on technology that will deflect an asteroid, which would be pretty cool if it actually gets up and running, but as of now it’s still in development.
At the moment, all we can really do is keep an eye on the skies and track near-Earth objects as best as we can. Luckily, NASA has a project that does just that (you saw that one coming, didn’t you?) NASA’s Center for Near Earth Object Studies has several teams who search for and track all the fun things that are zipping around out there in space. Hopefully they can give us enough notice of anything big enough that could kill us (and hopefully the DART program is fully operational when they do).
But if an asteroid hits us before we have the ability to redirect it, well, things could be bad. Our ability to survive would likely depend on the size of the asteroid that hits — if it’s a smaller asteroid, survival could depend solely on where it lands. If it hits a city, it would be super crappy to be living in that city, now wouldn’t it?