The Worst place for a Post-Apocalyptic Home

Post-apocalypse you’re going to need somewhere to live. You’ll want somewhere fairly secure, with access to land where you can grow food, and a lot of space for your growing community. But what you don’t want is one of these death traps.
 
Here are the worst places to try and build your new post-apocalyptic home.
 

 

[abandoned mental hospital]
[abandoned mental hospital] (Photo credit: ro_buk [I’m not there])

A Hospital:

 
You think it’s a good idea. The walls are strong, there might be gardens you can turn into a farm, and major bonus, it is full of medication. Well, if films, computer games and novels have taught me anything, post-apocalyptic hospitals are full of mutants, ghosts, raiders, murderers, zombies and disease. Don’t do it.
 

A Prison:

 
A perfect post-apocalyptic home. Nice, strong walls, plenty of open land, super security… and full of
 
abandoned prisoners who long ago turned to cannibalism and the rule of the strongest.

Old School:

You went to school, right? Why in hell would you want to live there? Not enough? Fine. Two words: Undead children. Undead children, haunting your post-apocalyptic home, playing their terrible music. Ugh.

Military Installations:

I know, this seems like a great idea. The security! The weapons! Only problem is it’s probably full of  the insane military scientists who unleashed the apocalypse, and now they want to practice something awful on you. Stay away.

#6 [Jail Club]
#6 [Jail Club] (Photo credit: ro_buk [I’m not there])

Stately Homes:

The UK is lousy with rich people mansions. Nice sturdy walls and miles of parkland. In fact, this used to be my first choice for a post-apocalyptic home. Until you realise that a massive white regency pile with acres of lush growing food stands right out. Too tempting a target for nasty people. It’s gonna be a no.

Hotels:

Are you kidding me? Hotels are just stuffed with ghosts and murderers. Every single one of them. In Fallout 3 hotels are full of supermutants, raiders or ghouls, and I have no reason to think that Bethesda would lie to me.

Churches:

No. The dramatic irony of you ending up crucified in a church is just too much for writers, so assume it’ll happen and just walk on by.
 
So, where can you build your post-apocalyptic home? I still maintain that a distant farm is a good bet, especially one that’s fairly isolated. Or buy your own island, whatever.

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