Le disclaimer: This post contains spoilers about episode 12 of Under the Dome (titled “Exigent Circumstances”). Do not read this post if you have not yet seen the episode and plan to.
Also, apologies for getting this post up so late. I had a hard time watching this without wanting to throw things at my TV, I was so pissed off at EVERYBODY IN IT. (There is seriously not a single likable character in this show. Not one.)
Okay, so in this episode, we discover that Big Jim went to school at the Two-Dimensional School for Wannabe Archvillains. Honestly, I don’t really care what else I’ve read online (mostly from the actors and the people behind the show itself), but THIS CHARACTER HAS NO LAYERS WHATSOEVER. He is made of two dimensions; aka, he is a flat character with no redeemable qualities. He has no motivations other than making sure he rules his little domed-in kingdom. Frankly, he seems to be a douche just because he can. All he’s missing is a mustache to twirl around while he’s killing people and otherwise making people’s lives hell.
Yes, I despise this character. I hope the dome zaps him and makes him go all splodey along the side of the dome. (Preferably with his insane son next to him.)
Ahem. Anyway. So Big Jim declares a state of emergency to capture Barbie (remember, BJ has turned Barbie into the murderous villain of the town because I don’t know, maybe it was lesson 2 at archvillain school or something). Linda, who is arguably the stupidest cop I’ve ever seen (in person, in film, or on television) is all, “I am NOT turning this town into a police state just because YOU want to make it one!” To which BJ replies, “It’s not me, it’s the PEOPLE who want it!” and Linda’s all “Well, okay then, if it’s the people.”
OMG Linda, your idiocy astounds. IT ASTOUNDS.
(If you haven’t already guessed, this entire episode is basically about Big Jim going on an evil villain power trip and Linda being a total moron and going along with it. That’s really the best way to sum up what went on.)
Junior has some weird moment where he actually cares about his dad, and goes off to warn Big Jim that someone will try to kill him. Big Jim’s all, “Psha, whatever. No one can kill me” and that’s that, basically. Big Jim goes off to continue his audition for the villain in a Marvel movie, and Junior decides he’s going to do his dad’s bidding. Which…I don’t even know. So Junior goes off to the clinic to “keep guard” over Julia because “Barbie might come back to finish the job” when we really know it’s because Big Jim needs to kill her to shut her up, because Barbie didn’t actually do any shooting.
Over at the radio station, Dodee overhears the military looking for the baby dome and its accompanying egg. And the military’s looking for Barbie because he’s got the “necessary expertise” for the egg. (I don’t know if that means he can disarm it or talk to it. Probably both, because Barbie’s the Marty Stu of the series.) Dodee suddenly remembers she saw the egg in Joe’s barn, even though last week she couldn’t remember a thing about the baby dome. How convenient that her dome-induced amnesia disappears now, because she runs off to tell Big Jim about what she heard AND to show him the picture of the dome egg.
Because, obviously, she is an idiot. How do these people not know that Big Jim is hazardous to their health? Seriously.
The Baby Dome Posse, meanwhile, are discussing Big Jim’s Ultimate Villain turnaround and his desire to kill Barbie. Joe is still convinced that Barbie is the monarch who will be crowned (when the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis because apparently the butterfly is like a timer). While they’re discussing this, Carolyn walks in and sees the baby dome and its egg.
And because she’s the cool mom, she tells Norrie to hide the egg because Big Jim and his henchmen are searching all the houses. Obviously, the egg can’t fall into Big Jim’s hands because he will probably find some way to corrupt it and/or break it. Because Big Jim’s like that. (Aside: Big Jim and the Henchmen would make an awesome band name.)
Joe and Norrie take the baby dome to Ben’s house, where they hide it under a massive pile of blankets. Maybe Ben likes to hoard quilts or something.
Meanwhile, Angie’s doing…something when Barbie finds her. He tells her the truth about the shootings and she believes him (FINALLY someone who shows even a lick of sense in this town). Barbie then tells Angie that Big Jim will try to kill Julia. Obviously, Big Jim can’t let his town savior facade crack, and if Julia starts talking about her shooting, that facade will crack faster than a dried mud mask (with or without cucumbers).
So Angie and Barbie go to the clinic to break Julia out. But! Big Jim has put Junior as a guard! Oh noes!
Yeah, Angie puts on the “woe is me, I’m so scared” girlfriend act and lures Junior away from the room, giving Barbie enough time to move Julia. Junior catches on when he kisses Angie and she tastes like cigarettes. Because I don’t know, I guess cigarettes = Barbie or something.
Anyway, Angie makes a break for it in the ambulance (Julia’s in the back) while Barbie turns himself in to Linda, who seems more and more like the village idiot.
But where’s Big Jim while all this is happening? At the radio station, listening to the military broadcast. It’s all going well for Dodee, until someone says they can’t go to Big Jim because they have evidence (footage, I think?) of him killing the reverend.
And that’s when you know Dodee’s about to be redshirted. I can’t really say I have any sympathy, because I thought she was pretty annoying.
Dodee figures out that Big Jim did all the killing. In a last-ditch plea for her life, she’s all, “I know where the egg is! I can help you! And you can make the dome go down!” And Big Jim, trying to be ominous, goes, “Oh, but the dome CAN’T come down.” Probably because if it does, he will no longer have minions or a domain to rule. And he’ll be all sad and pathetic and shit.
And then he shoots Dodee and sets the station on fire. And predictably implies that the blame lies with Barbie. And even more predictably, Linda (our village idiot) buys it.
Honestly, I don’t think Linda’s capable of thinking for herself.
Big Jim then goes off to Joe’s barn to find the egg. Carolyn tries to stop him from going into the barn, but he’s all, “MRAH *chest thumping* MRAH I RULE THIS TOWN,” shoves her aside, and goes in the barn.
Lo and behold, there’s no baby dome. So Big Jim’s all, “WHAT HOW CAN SOMETHING NOT GOING ACCORDING TO MY PLAN” and arrests Joe and Norrie because taking things out on kids is what you do while you’re having a tantrum. Duh.
So Joe and Norrie go to jail, and Big Jim does his intimidation thing. Joe looks intimidated, but Norrie’s more like, “Screw you, asshole” so Big Jim goes into her cell and threatens her. She is unimpressed. And remains unthreatened. (And we see further evidence that Joe is basically just a useless git who’s there because the baby dome needs four people to unlock it.)
Next, Big Jim goes to Barbie. Because if you can’t intimidate the kids, you intimidate the guy you’re trying to screw over. Or something. Big Jim threatens Barbie into making a full “confession” of the murders/shootings/blah blah blah by threatening Angie, Joe, Norrie, and Julia. Barbie’s like, “Fine, you win, I’ll confess in public. Just don’t hurt anyone!”
Right, right, of course Big Jim won’t hurt anyone.
Joe and Norrie are released and Linda follows them to their next destination. Why? Because Big Jim told her to (seriously, people, this woman is incapable of independent thought). Joe, Norrie, and Carolyn go to Ben’s, where the egg is losing its shit and screaming in a high pitched electronic voice. Linda follows them INSIDE BEN’S HOUSE and is like, “What is THAT?” (OMG Linda what is WRONG with you?!)
Julia wakes up and tells Angie who shot her (hint: not Barbie). It turns out Angie’s hidden her in a storage closet in the clinic, because she figures it would be the last place people will look for them. Sure, it’s a good assumption Big Jim’s already searched the clinic, but in this town, who the hell knows. Anyway, Julia tells Angie that they’ll kill Barbie (which we already figured would be the case, right?).
Big Jim brings Barbie out into the town square to do the public confession thing, but instead of confessing, Barbie says he’s not guilty. (And I shall imitate Nelson and say “HA HA” to Big Jim.)
And…somewhere by the dome’s edge, Junior touches the dome all by his lonesome. Because I don’t know.
We’ll find out what happens next on the season finale, which airs September 16. (Apparently it’s supposed to be a cliffhanger, so maybe we won’t find out much.)
Under the Dome airs on Mondays on CBS.
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