Regular disclaimer: This recap contains spoilers about episode 10 of Under the Dome, titled “Let the Games Begin.” Do not read this post if you have not yet seen the episode and plan to.
Okay, well, the good news is, there are only three episodes left. The bad news is…WTF. What was THAT about? The introduction of blackmailing Blonde Lady (I believe her name’s Max or something) just derailed a show that was already so far off the rails we were in the middle of the ocean somewhere where trains never go.
Anyway. So we start the episode at the baby dome, where Joe is doing some weird imitation of the Double Rainbow Guy because OMG THERE’S A CATERPILLAR IN IT!!! And — gasp! — it’s a yellow and brown caterpillar so it will turn into a monarch butterfly!!!!!! Dude, what does this mean??? (I have no idea. But you know, there’s that whole “the monarch will be crowned” thing from last week.)
So then Joe argues with the others about telling Julia, and we have a tell Julia-don’t tell Julia argument that ends with someone saying, “It doesn’t matter, we still need to find the FOURTH HAND for this thing!!!” Which apparently means someone else who’s had a seizure. Because I guess that’s the common denominator. Or something.
So they all trek off to find the fourth hand. Right after they leave, Dodee comes running in (where the hell was she hiding that nobody sees her?). So of course she touches the dome, because dome! Only it electrocutes her and shoots her across the barn (which was unexpected). She’s knocked out completely and comes to as Joe, Norrie, and Angie are wheeling her into the clinic (I guess they managed to get her off the barn floor, into a car, to the clinic, out of the car, and into a wheelchair without her waking up). Dodee can’t remember anything that happened, so Norrie tells her she got electrocuted on a generator. Um, okay.
Also, is it just me, or does the clinic look way bigger than it has in previous episodes?
Weird, right? And it only gets weirder…
So Barbie — he of the Marty Stu variety — and Big Jim — he of the slightly insane variety — work together to try to either bring down Blonde Lady or get her off their backs. I’m not sure which. Blonde Lady has a pile of illegal businesses (because of course she does), but she does have ONE legal business — a real estate company of some sort. And lo and behold, the company held onto one house on some island that’s conveniently inside the dome. So OF COURSE that’s where Blonde Lady must be hiding all her shit, right?
So Barbie and Big Jim plan to head out to the house to…break in. Or raid it. Or something. But then Blonde Lady shows up with a bizarre “shopping” (read: looting) list for Big Jim and orders Barbie to go with her somewhere. So Big Jim goes to the house by himself, and Barbie gets dragged to the cement factory, which has now been turned into some underground/black market entertainment complex.
And NO ONE noticed this?! Really?! Blonde Lady said she wasn’t “sitting idle” for the last week, but did the writers forget that the ENTIRE TOWN hid in the cement factory when that missile was coming? It certainly wasn’t being transformed into anything other than a giant panic room then.
And then of course Blonde Lady’s all, “I don’t care about anyone else’s survival, I only care about MYSELF.” So not only is she devious and shit, she’s also the most selfish person on this damn show. And holy hell this show has some selfish people.
Meanwhile, off in Idealistic Cop Land, Linda shows Julia the video with Duke meeting Blonde Lady with the propane. Then she finds a safety deposit box key in Duke’s old Sheriff’s hat, so Linda and Julia traipse off to the now-empty bank.
What do they find? A written confession about the Propane Plot! Which is, apparently, a plot to help the town NOT go broke. Which involved buying the propane (as the town), then selling the propane to Blonde Lady. In return, Blonde Lady kept all drugs out of Chester’s Mill. Reverend Lester laundered the money, and Big Jim was “the face of the propane” and sold the whole idea to the town.
Which…well, okay then.
After they find this, Julia decides to open her own safety deposit box, because of course she’s got one. In hers she finds her husband’s life insurance policy. For $1 million.
Right. Well, that’s unexpected.
Back to Big Jim. When we last left him, he was on his way to that island to check out that house that Blonde Lady’s company hasn’t sold yet. When he gets there, he finds a caretaker working for some dude named Oliver.
BUT. As it turns out, the caretaker is Blonde Lady’s mom, and Oliver doesn’t exist (at least I don’t think he does). BL’s Mom holds Big Jim at riflepoint (because THAT’S a good idea). Of course Big Jim gets the rifle away. So then Big Jim takes BL’s Mom on his boat back to Chester’s Mill. At some point BL’s Mom falls out of the boat (how convenient) and Big Jim leaves her in the lake to drown.
Ah, okay. THERE’S the Big Jim I know and love (to hate).
Of course, Blonde Lady has no idea her mother just drowned in a lake. She’s off at her fight club place, blackmailing Barbie into a fight. Barbie throws the fight (because of course he does) and Blonde Lady keeps trying to blackmail him. You know, what with the whole “What would Julia say if she knew you killed her husband?” angle. Barbie gets tired of it and walks away, leaving Blonde Lady dumbfounded. Either she didn’t expect that or no one’s ever told her no before (or possibly both).
And then Barbie goes back to Julia’s house and confesses to killing her husband. But Julia already knew, because she’d just found that her husband’s gun was gone (though all the bullets were still there). She explains the life insurance policy she found, and then she’s like, “I think he needed you to kill him for the life insurance. It would’ve been void if he’d committed suicide.”
Then it seems like she forgives Barbie. What.
And THEN. Just when you think the crazy ends there, we go back to the baby dome. Angie has managed to convince Junior to go with them — because Angie’s convinced that Junior is the fourth hand, since he had a seizure back in tenth grade. Not to mention his mom’s paintings. So Joe, Norrie, Angie, and Junior all touch the baby dome. The egg lights up and turns into a planetarium projector thing and shows them a sky full of pink stars.
Oh, and, that caterpillar is now a chrysalis.
Under the Dome airs on Mondays on CBS.
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