As usual: This post contains spoilers about episode 7 of Under the Dome (titled “Imperfect Circle”). Do not read this post if you haven’t yet seen the episode and plan to.
So yay! We’re officially halfway through this season! Only six more episodes of a show with remarkably unlikable characters.
Anyway. This week in Chester’s Mill, the residents all have water again (because, you know, it rained when they needed it to and they’ve also got that farmer’s artesian well). So no riots. Except for the Dundee brothers, who aren’t rioting so much as running around bullying people. But WITH GUNS so it’s okay (or something).
Violently armed brothers aside, in Chester’s Mill we also have to deal with morning after awkwardness. Yep, Barbie and Julia (who last week shared a kiss) are waking up in bed together. This still seriously squicks me out because of the whole “Barbie killed Julia’s husband and she doesn’t know” thing. But maybe that’s just me, I don’t know.
And then this random (very) pregnant lady shows up at Julia’s house asking for yogurt. Seriously, what? Where the hell did this pregnant lady come from? I thought Chester’s Mill was a small town? Though I can understand the yogurt bit (Pregnant Lady says it’s the only thing she can keep down); there was a point when all I could keep down was ramen noodles, so yeah, sometimes your food options are limited.
Also, she has the world’s roundest pregnant belly. Does anyone actually have a round pregnant belly? Or am I the only one who gets a strangely shaped belly while pregnant? (The size of Pregnant Lady’s belly doesn’t bother me; I might actually have been larger than she was during my third trimester(s). Which is…well, it’s large.)
So anyway, after Pregnant Lady gets her cup of yogurt or whatever, she waddles off (well she didn’t, but if she really WERE pregnant she’d have been waddling like a duck down that sidewalk) and runs into a hallucination of her husband, who is currently deployed. She thinks that maybe he’s come home early and reaches out to touch him. Only OF COURSE HE’S NOT THERE (because how could he have gotten inside the dome?) and she ends up touching the dome.
Which then sends her into early labor. BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES.
Meanwhile, at the
Crazy Rennie House, Big Jim is chewing out Junior for locking her up in the dungeon underground bunker (and he’s not being particularly friendly or fatherly about it). And THEN he tells Junior he’s sick. And kicks Junior out of the house (what?), before telling him that if he gets near Angie again, he’ll be sorry. (And I’m going “OMG IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. NO WONDER JUNIOR’S INSANE.”)
Then Big Jim tells Angie she can stay at his house, and Angie’s all, “Haha no, not gonna happen.” But she does say she wants to say goodbye to Rose first, so Big Jim gives her the keys to the diner (I guess he owns it). So off Angie goes to the diner, where Ben (remember Ben?) finds her and helps her bury Rose. Afterward, they go back to the diner to clean it up.
Farmer Dude opens up his well for the town, and he’s all smug and shit because I don’t know. Big Jim proposes a partnership (propane and water) so that together they can rule the town. Ollie, all smug, asks Big Jim if the propane supply is still his. Big Jim’s all, “WTF? Of course it’s still mine!” while I want to punch Ollie in the throat. (Not that I like Big Jim more, mind you; it’s just that Ollie’s particularly grating with his smug doucheness.)
It turns out that Ollie’s taken over the propane supply but cutting off the lock and replacing it with his own. Also, he’s posted a guard there.
Okay, wait. What? Is this propane thing common knowledge in the town? Does everybody know where it’s being kept? If not, how did Ollie find out where it was? Did he have Big Jim followed during one of the propane delivery runs? WHAT IS GOING ON?
Later Ollie shows up at Big Jim’s office and is even more smug and douchey because he’s got the well, the crops, AND the propane. Now he’s gloating because he rules Chester’s Mill! And Big Jim. (You know this is going to be a recipe for disaster, right?)
Linda and her deputies are off looking for the Dundee brothers because they have to be arrested and all that for killing Rose. And then she tells Junior that they were about to rape Angie (OMG LINDA WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.) So Junior’s all, “Let’s KICK THEIR ASSES!” and Linda’s all, “But THE LAW!” and I’m like :facepalm:. (Seriously, how does Linda’s idealism survive in this place?)
Julia’s taking Pregnant Lady to the clinic. On the way, they get gasjacked by the Dundee brothers (I THOUGHT BARBIE KILLED ONE OF THEM?!) because gas is more valuable than the car or something. Barbie comes to their rescue (because of course he does) and shoots one of them in the leg. (The same brother he strangled last week, so maybe the Dundees are like cats and have nine lives or something.) He tells Linda and Junior where the brothers are headed and then helps Julia take Pregnant Lady the rest of the way to Alice’s. Why Alice’s? Because the clinic’s closed and Alice is apparently the only doctor (or anyone with medical training) left in the entire town. (Except, if you’ll remember, Alice is actually a psychiatrist so I don’t know.)
Alice of course takes charge and Pregnant Lady’s in active labor blah blah blah. But THEN Alice starts to get weak (she’s run out of insulin, remember?) and Barbie has to take over as midwife. Alice talks him through clamping the umbilical cord because it’s wrapped around the baby’s neck, and of course Barbie can do it. With a shoelace. And of course he can deliver the baby LIKE A PRO. (WHAT. THE. FUCK. This guy’s Marty Stu-ness is irritating as hell.)
You may be wondering what happened with Joe and Norrie and their weird connection with the dome. (Or not. But I’ll tell you anyway.) They find a little dome in the woods after Joe’s all “What if the dome is like an ATOM?! That means it’ll have a NUCLEUS IN THE MIDDLE!” (What? Seriously, what? I mean, okay, an atom will have a nucleus and electrons and shit but where the hell does he come up with this stuff?)
Inside the dome is…a black egg. (Oooo, aliens! Maybe?) They try talking to the little dome, but nothing happens so someone suggests they touch it. When they do, Norrie sees an image of her mom, and she automatically knows that something’s wrong (HOW?) so she rushes back to Joe’s house.
Where Alice has a heart attack and dies. What. (Also, crap, the town lost its last doctor.)
Meanwhile, Linda and Junior find the Dundees and Linda tries to arrest them. Of course that doesn’t work, so shooting and shit. Both of the Dundees die. (Well, I think they did. I thought one of them died last week but apparently not so who the hell knows.)
Oh, and Big Jim loses his (drunken) shit and goes to the propane supply place, shoots a fuel tank or something on the guard’s truck, and watches the truck blow up. With the guard inside. (Can that actually happen? Didn’t Mythbusters do a segment on that?)
And in the woods… the black egg starts to light up. (I really hope it’s phoning home…)
Under the Dome airs on Mondays on CBS.
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