Evaluating the Supplies in a Disaster ‘Go Bag’

I spend a ludicrous amount of time thinking about the apocalypse. Never about dying in it though; I’m not some kind of sad sack. I think long and hard about life after the apocalypse and the kinds of supplies I might need not only to survive but also to thrive happily.
What will I eat? What should I wear? Do I currently own appropriate footwear? Could it be that hard to fire a gun; bludgeon a grown man; or not get bodily fluids in my eyes, nose, or mouth?
It’s hard to say.
I mean I don’t go running every day on the off chance there might be a race between a zombie, some other survivor, and me. I’ve got Blackness and determination on my side. I may be chubby, but I strongly believe that as long as something is chasing me, I can run fast. It might be the ugliest running anyone has ever witnessed, but it’ll get me there. And when I get there, I’m locking the door behind me whether or not you’re still with me.

Running for you life is a moot point, though if you’re locked up without supplies, food, or a toy of some sort.
I’m the girl with a purse and a half filled with pens, highlighters, extra jewelery (essential in it’s own way), three different eyeliners, binder clips, foreign coins, linoleum samples (true story), four lip balms, and no money or Advil. I need help, possibly an intervention.
So, Googled around to see what essentials I should look into having on hand, just in case. Not like an axe or hand gun, more like a backpack full of actually useful things.

The rational for the dozens of supplies recommended by MEMA according to their Disaster Supply Kit list:

“Every home and business should have a stocked basic emergency supply kit that could be used for any emergency, regardless of the time of year,” states MEMA Acting Director Kurt Schwartz. “Everyone should keep certain items around the house and workplace in the event you are isolated for three to five days without power”
Each kit will be unique to each family, but should include a portable radio, flashlight, extra batteries, a supply of non-perishable foods, along with bottled water, a first aid kit, extra prescription medication, and extra food and supplies for infants and pets.

Develop a Disaster Supply Kit ‘Go Bag’, with essentials in case you must evacuate quickly.

Um, the provided list is only one page but includes things like an ice chest, a camping stove, and a tarp. I see what they’re saying, but no thanks.

Some things I do agree with:

Canned meats and fish (Campbell’s Firehouse Chili, Chef Boyardee – without the serving of vegetables that you can totally taste, tomato basil tuna? Yes, please!)

Water purification tablets (Brilliant! thought it kind of makes me not want to lug around a gallon of water per person per day as the list also advises. I just need to find a tap or well.)
Work Gloves (‘Cause I’m delicate, but willing to work.)
All-Purpose Cleaner (Because you don’t know where that’s been. personally I’d go with the wipes so as to avoid spilling and then I’d have a clean container for later use.

My one concern about the recommenced supplies:

Food banks are always asking for non-perishable food. Non-perishable makes me think, because of the definition of the word, that the food will stay good forever. However, even cans of food have expiration dates. These dates are rarely more than two years out. This means we’ll need gardens, or infrastructure, or hunter-gatherer abilities. All these things are mentally exhausting simply as ideas. I was sick of my house plant after a few months. And growing in New England seems like such a futile concept.  A steady diet of pumpkins, apples, and root vegetables. Barf. I’d rather eat squirrels.

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