Learning to Live With Small Inconveniences Now Will Pay Off Big in a Post-Apocalyptic World


Husband and I both had buffalo chicken for dinner. His was boneless, mine had bones. He sees no point in chicken with bones. I’m not totally sure why I like it. However, I do know that come world’s end, no one will be de-boning your chicken for you. You’ll need to get on board with tearing flesh from bone like a predator or get hip to eating grass and the like.
Chicken and other meats having bones is one of many little inconveniences you’ll have to deal with. Thing is, where the fuck do you find chickens? In addition, if you currently know where to find a chicken, I’m sure they’re not smart enough to save themselves. You’ll either have to save the chicken or go back and hope it’s still there. They’re not like dogs, they won’t wait for you.
However, if you’re smart, and you find a chicken, you’ll be smart enough not to slaughter it immediately. Chickens make eggs[1. Don’t worry about chicken eggs being filled with chickens. Chickens only make chickens if they’re exposed to male chickens (roosters or cocks, depending on where you’re from). Otherwise, they’re just eggs that can be stolen and eaten]. Eggs are food. You can have a dozen eggs a month or one chicken for one day. Small inconvenience, big pay off. Also, a lot of people are particular about eggs. The smell, the texture.. Personally, I love eggs. Get over it or eat grass.
Unfortunately, some days we’re actually going to have to eat grass and the like. It’ll be everywhere. Well, unless you live where I live and for four months, there’s no foliage aside from evergreen trees, evergreen bushes, and evergreen shrubs. And even that shit’s buried under a foot of snow on every level. The branches, five, ten, fifteen feet of the ground, hold on to a foot of snow each. It’s bizarre. While I’m taunting about eating grass, I should familiarize myself with the act and figuring out what is actually edible. I sure hope evergreens are edible.
Some other shit you should put up with:
1. A little bit of mold on your bread. Start by not tossing a whole bag because a few slices at one end have a spot or two.
2. Not having any salt[2. Condiments in generally will be on short supply]. You won’t have salt in the wild and I hear it’s not good for you anyway.
3. Uncomfortable shoes. Now, you should probably find some comfortable shoes, but if you find yourself in an uncomfortable pair for some reason, think to yourself, Self, what would post-apocalyptic Me do?
4. Walking farther than you thought you’d have to. Get over it, a little exercise won’t kill you. Actually, it’s good for you. And if you’re hungry and uncomfortable while walking, even better. Consider it practice or  research.
5. Power outages. When the robots come, or the aliens invade, or the dead rise, the power will go out. There is never any power in a post-apocalyptic world. Learn to have conversations, find a flashlight that lasts a while, invest in candles, buy some cards and books.

0 thoughts on “Learning to Live With Small Inconveniences Now Will Pay Off Big in a Post-Apocalyptic World”

  1. Good think I learned to like eggs a few years back. Being a university student is a good way of preparing for the apocalypse, since quite often you have to go without basic amenities (minus booze). So as long as we can wean everyone off the sauce, students will have the best chance of survival 😛

  2. Some random thoughts before bed:
    According to the guys on Dual Survival, a pine tree’s needles contain vitamin C and can be made into a tea that will help keep you alive, if need be. But I’d be careful to find out now which species of pine this applies to. I know some evergreens, like the yew bushes we had out front of my house when I was a kid, have poisonous berries and that might or might not extend to the evergreen leafy bits
    Too much salt isn’t good for you but you do need a certain amount of salt to stay alive.
    Unless the terrain was something like hot asphalt or gravel or there was the possibility of broken glass, I think I might honestly choose going barefoot over uncomfortable shoes because bad shoes can very quickly mess up your feet and make walking more difficult. And even under bad terrain, I might just wear several pairs of socks, maybe with duct tape for a sole.

  3. You just succeeded in making me happy about my childhood on a not so very modern farm. Congratulations – if Armaggedon comes I’ll think of you and my grandmother, who tought me how to keep cows, butcher chickens and kill pigs with a hammer (I’m not joking, 20 years ago that was actually done where I live)

  4. You just succeeded in making me happy about my childhood on a not so very modern farm. Congratulations – if Armaggedon comes I’ll think of you and my grandmother, who tought me how to keep cows, butcher chickens and kill pigs with a hammer (I’m not joking, 20 years ago that was actually done where I live)

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