Knitting: A post-apocalyptic skill you MUST learn.

I’ve decided to learn how to knit. Not just because I want to make my own bloody scarves, but because I think it will be useful.
Of course, to the people who get a little concerned about me when I start yammering on about the end of the world, I’m pointing out the accepted benefits- it’s relaxing, it keeps your hands busy so you snack less, you get a pretty jumper out of the deal, learning new skills keeps the brain sharp- but as with all things, I’m mainly thinking about it’s usefulness post apocalypse.
Continue reading “Knitting: A post-apocalyptic skill you MUST learn.”

The pre-apocalypse apocalyptic library

So, I’m a geek. (This isn’t news.) But because I’m geeky and would be a professional student if I could get paid for it, it’s no surprise that I like to read up on things. Partly so I have more useless trivia to spout during really awkward dinners with my in-laws, but partly so I’m prepared for all sorts of random things.
Continue reading “The pre-apocalypse apocalyptic library”

Routine Will Keep You Alive in the Post-Apocalypse

ann would punch me in the face if I missed another week. We’ve got a schedule and I fail to stick to it.
If I was supposed to patrol every other night to ensure no baddies encroached on my camp, I’d be dead by my third turn. I’d forget what day of the week  it was by day four. But I am trying.
I don’t have anything to write about so I’m going to throw a bunch of links and resources at you.
1.  Nerve-Flu Pandemic Contest 

The AChE (Nerve) Flu Pandemic is part of a “viral” campaign to promote our short film, and to raise awareness for ourKickstarter Campaign (http://kck.st/o8eDB4) to raise funds for our budget.
Within the universe of our film, the Nerve-Flu Pandemic caused mass-hysteria and brought the world’s societies crumbling down. The interesting twist is, as in reality, the pandemic was a work of fiction… it never existed.
JOIN THE CAMPAIGN
Help us spread the rumor of the Nerve-Flu Pandemic and we will give you a very special reward, being listed in the credits of our film as “Bringers of the Apocalypse”.

We already got someone posting a buzzfeed link about it on our Facebook group. Continue reading “Routine Will Keep You Alive in the Post-Apocalypse”

So, you're stuck eating insects.

It’s a nasty little fact that if you’re in a survival situation and you’re desperate for food, you’re going to have to eat insects. They’re high in protein and nutrients. I know, I know, your pampered little stomachs are in revolt at the very idea. Well, I’m going to ask you: Whats better? Eating an insect or slowly starving to death? Thought so.
By the way, if you chose starving? You’re an idiot.
Continue reading “So, you're stuck eating insects.”

Skills you'll need in the post apocalypse

A couple weeks ago, Ann wrote about post apocalyptic jobs. To do any job well, you’ll need a certain skill set. (Well, in theory, anyway.) Which is great for people who, you know, have skills that translate well in the post apocalypse. So people who have speed and endurance, people who can live in the wilderness of wherever for unknown lengths of time, people who can cook meals with random ingredients, and people who can break other people in half like twigs will probably have a leg up on everybody else. You know, like the people who sit in front of a computer all day (unless the post apocalypse has a lot of computers in it; in which case, there might be hope for me).
But let’s think about our individual (present) skills for a moment, shall we? Why? Well, because these are the skills that we’ll take with us into the post apocalypse, should the apocalypse happen tomorrow, next week, or December 21, 2012.
Continue reading “Skills you'll need in the post apocalypse”

ROBOT UPRISING [a handy guide, just in case.]

So there’s this book, by Daniel H. Wilson, “How to Survive a Robot Uprising“. In the words of Laurie Beth Dimberg: This is vital information for your everyday life.
This could one day replace the Bible as the most read and referenced book in the world.  In the future, no one will be wondering which berries are safe to eat or who Abraham’s son was. They will, however, want to know How to Spot a Rebellious Robot Servant, or How to Spot a Hostile Robot.
Why? Because Robots will be everywhere, and they eat old people’s medicine for fuel.
Personally I like to believe in a world where humans and robots get along in a healthy prosperous society with hover-cars, time travel, and a few noteworthy space bandits.
I also like to believe that when the vampires and werewolves reveal themselves as an under culture we only nightmared about there will only be a few riots and no cataclysmic power struggle.
But, just in case shit gets technological and then goes awry, buy, or just look into it: \\\ ROBOT UPRISING ///.

small but mighty.

Is Lollipop Chainsaw the Utopia of Apocalypses?

Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment announced their upcoming game Lollipop Chainsaw via a trailer featuring a blood-covered, chainsaw wielding, giggling cheerleader. She also has the talking head of her boyfriend clipped to her hip, because why not?

Lollipop Chainsaw is the ‘un-deadly’ story of sweet and killer zombie hunter Juliet Starling and her quest to uncover the root of a colossal zombie outbreak. With her wickedly awesome chainsaw in hand, Juliet slices, dices and splits her way through hordes of the undead, but soon realizes the horde is only the opening act to a festival of zombie rock lords determined to kill the chainsaw wielding cheerleader.

It’s kind of adorable in a hack and slash all your friends are dead, flesh-eating monster you get to glefully murder way… The game really reminds me of High School of the Dead in its big-breasted light-hearted approach to zombie slaying.
Check out the mature-rated trailer:

Post-Apocalyptic Personal Hygiene: Brush Your Teeth or Die.

It seems to be the common perception that in the post-apocalyptic world everyone will be happily filthy and there will be a beautiful sea of unwashed masses who eat grubs and live in abandoned basements.
This hypothesis overlooks the fact that for the last 100 years or so people have gotten used to being clean and coddled. The issue of personal hygiene is not simply about comfort, it’s about safety and survival. Do you want to be the asshole who died from an infected pimple or an abscessed tooth?
Many of the daily grooming habits we’ll have to do without are things we’ve grown so accustomed to physiologically, that once they’re removed from our daily lives there will be a noticeable and traumatic impact.

Potential apocalypse alert: Scientists breed hyper-agressive rats.

 

This is how the apocalypse starts people. Right here.  Russian scientists have bred a type of particularly agressive rat. Geneticist Svante Paabo was ‘stunned’ by the agressiveness of the rats, and stated  that he felt that if ’10 or 20′ got out of their cages they ‘would probably kill [him]’

Let’s hope they don’t get out of their cages, huh?

Short Sharp Science: Beyond Room 101: The hyperaggressive rat.

The normal wild rat is a clever creature, typically non-agressive to humans unless there a lot of rats and a weak human.  I shouldn’t need to point out the risks of hyper-agressive rats.

Scientists say that through this research they are discovering genetic links to agressive and timid behaviour. I say they’re planning to take over the world with the use of rats.

So what can you do to survive this one? Well, poison and traps are your first priority. After that get as far from a population centre as possible and ensure your barricades have no gaps rats could get into. If you have time, put chicken wire 8 foot under the ground and ensure your wall and building foundations touch it. After a while, interbreeding with the normal rat population will reduce agressiveness to handleable levels (within about ten years,) and you’re set to rebuild. Good luck!

 

 

Maintaining a healthy relationship post-apocalypse

In most of the western world romantic love is the ideal. From day one we are told it will conquer all, that there is a specific kind of ‘true’ love that overwhelms all obstacles and ensures your safety and happiness. This is a lie. Love exists, but a happy and successful relationship post-apocalypse will need a lot more than just love.  I decided to talk about how to keep yourself- and your relationship- alive and healthy in the hellish future.
Lets talk for a bit about the sort of love we’re told to expect by the media. This love is wild, dramatic. It happens when two people who seem to really dislike each other meet in a stressful circumstance. Regardless of how incompatible they are, they fall in love, which makes it great. Because that totally works in real life. If you’ve had more than one or two relationships I shouldn’t need to tell you this is nonsense. That kind of ‘love’ rarely lasts, and is rarely healthy or supportive when it does. More to the point, if required to survive, it will get you killed.
Picture this. You are hunting for food. Just you and your lover. Awww. But you disagree on which way to go! Your hollywood-approved belligerent sexual tension means you argue, and snipe at each other over which way to go. You’re distracted- so distracted you don’t hear the threat sneaking up on you. BAM. You’re now slaves to a set of raiders. How could you have solved this? Well, several ways, but for the purposes of this post we’ll talk about the ideal Apocalypse survival relationship skills.
Continue reading “Maintaining a healthy relationship post-apocalypse”