The last time my toddler tried to climb the oven door to see the fun things that were happening on the stove, I had this crazy picture flash into my head. It was of my toddler climbing the ruins of a building somewhere in post-apocalyptic Earth and then falling off, only to be impaled by some random ruins below (or eaten by zombies that happened to be wandering by).
I realized a few things after this mental image popped into my head:
1. My daughter follows this climb-fall cycle far too often.
2. I have an overactive imagination.
3. What the hell are parents going to do for babyproofing post-apocalypse?
I’m going to guess that baby gates will be a little hard to find after the world ends, even though there likely won’t be a shortage of things to climb onto or fall off of. And if kids can pry outlet covers off the outlets now—you know, when there are still outlet covers—what’s going to happen when all of those fun safety things disappear? (My kid can’t be the only one who does that…right?)
Kids are naturally curious, so they tend to get into things they shouldn’t. And they usually get into them because they know they shouldn’t, which makes those fun forbidden things all the more appealing. Today, those things are electric outlets, the stove, the poisonous things cabinet, the medicine cabinet, Mommy’s perfume, sunblock, mosquito repellent, Daddy’s tools, and…well, the list goes on.
Post-apocalypse, those things could be guns and other defensive weapons, ruins of old buildings, ruins of mountains/rocks/volcanoes, half-destroyed cars, other people’s tents in the survivor camp, the nearby zombie encampment, the aliens’ ship, and…well, I’m sure there are all sorts of things I’m not thinking of.
So how will parents of the post-apocalypse keep their kids safe? Since, you know, one of the goals of parenting is to make sure your kid lives to reach adulthood.
I think one of the easiest things to do would be to put kids in an enclosed space (at least during the day). By this I mean keep all kids under the age of two (or whatever age your survivor group decides on) in one place, away from the others. That place is then kept as clear as possible of all things that could possibly kill, maim, or eat the babies and toddlers.
What other ways can parents of the future keep their kids safe?
I know kids are a lot of work (trust me, I know. I have two of them). But, you know, they’re also kind of necessary to the survival of the human race. Which makes them slightly important.
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