I’m kind of obsessed with my hair. And, by kind of, I mean I have to start listing it as a hobby to justify the amount of time I spend paying attention to it. It’s not even tricked out. Just hair on top of a head. an inordinate amount of hair that took years to grow and takes hours to condition and comb or style, but really, just hair.
In a post-apocalyptic world, I’m going to be throughly screwed on the hair front.
In this civilized world of luxury goods and running water, I have an adorable natural curly afro (when maintained properly), with pencil curls and a side part and bounce (on a good day). But left to its own devices without products and a wide-toothed comb? A giant angry knot of chaos and tears.
Good hair days:
Bad hair day:
I spend nearly an hour (average of 45 minutes) combing my hair out WITH detangler in it. When the water is being rationed and Paul Mitchell is a memory, I’m going to have to make a serious decision.
No way in hell am I going to talk around looking like a feral child scratching and itching, wondering what’s inside the nest on my head. No way, no how.
If I’m able to understand what’s happening soon enough, I think I’ll be able to take some time and style it out. I’d start with twists. I know, eventually, the twists would turn to dreads. I’d like to fool myself into thinking I didn’t go straight to dreads. I spent too much time on my hair to just knot it up and be done. it’d be like leaving a pet behind. you could if you had to but, you’d have to live with it…
Scary plan B? Cut it all off like I’m in college again. But i was thinner then, with cheek and jaw bones. I’ll look like a Russian nesting doll with no hair (that is, like I have no neck and it will emphasize my rounded muscle-less shoulders).
I’m starting to evaluate styles that might indicate to others that I have wearwithall, that I’m not scared, and that, most of all, I’m unfuckwithable.
Tia Dalma pulled it off but that was a strategic commitment to the scary voodoo priestess look.
- Tia Dalma – Pirates of the Caribbean
Something like this, for instance, says, “feminine, fun and fierce.” It’ll go perfectly with my laser gun!
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