Post-apocalyptic Fashion: Resident Evil – Alice

When roving the desert cities that were once California or the untamed wilderness in Western Mass, what will you wear?

Some examples of post-apocalyptic outfit options from Resident Evil’s Alice.

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Post-apocalyptic beauty tips

With Tavia being concerned about where to get her hair done, and me being the vainest creature on two legs, this is a genuine concern for me.  And people look strangely at you when you admit that, when you tell them that among the normal concerns about post-apocalyptic living you are also worried about how to keep your skin from shrinking in on itself like a moldy apple.

Looking like this- not ideal

So I’ve put a lot of thought into this- usually while lounging in a hot bath and applying one of a dozen quirkily named expensive products to myself. And I have decided that after initial concerns have passed that the first thing I’m going to do is raid the beauty section of the department store.

But what about when that stuff’s gone? What will I do? I will make my own cosmetics, with readily available ingredients.

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The Mythical Land of Safety and Security and Free Food

It’s in the North. Unless you’re from the North, then it’s in the East. Well if, like me, you’re in the Northeast, it’s in Canada or out West. Maybe down south in Florida.

Wherever it may be, it’s a vague and general direction far from where you currently are. There’s someone in your party who wants desperately to go there. It’s the brand new Promised Land where fast food and hot showers still exist, who wouldn’t want to go there? A Smarty Pants is who.

Just like weight loss pills that not only work but also won’t eventually blow your heart up or destroy your metabolism, it doesn’t exist. Never wholly at least.

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Shelter, and how to choose it.

The MOST important thing for your survival is shelter, both short term and long term.  The right shelter could keep you not only alive, but content and successful. The wrong shelter could leave you diseased, injured or dead.

I thought that a list of shelter types, with pros and cons would be the most helpful.

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Post-apocalyptic Video Game: RAGE

Set for release in September 2011, Rage embraces the notion of a chaotic, violent and indulgent future. It has a similar vibe to the Max Max or A Boy and His Dog universes. It’s some how dark and dangerous while still being light and fun.

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But, where will I get my hair done?

I’m kind of obsessed with my hair. And, by kind of, I mean I have to start listing it as a hobby to justify the amount of time I spend paying attention to it. It’s not even tricked out. Just hair on top of a head. an inordinate amount of hair that took years to grow and takes hours to condition and comb or style, but really, just hair.

In a post-apocalyptic world, I’m going to be throughly screwed on the hair front.

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exploiting your friends for better survival.

I’ll level with you: In recent years my friendships have been based on a complex calculation that is deciding only two things- how likely the person is to survive an apocalypse and how useful they’ll be in the aftermath. And if that sounds harsh and cold-hearted to you, you just aren’t invested enough in your survival to make this work.

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Movie: STASIS

Stasis, by Jason Hite, is an 8 minute stop-motion film based on the idea of a future made of bio-mechanical… something. That’s really the most I could understand form reading the blurb and watching it. But, after reading the blurb and watching it, my imagination is running wild.

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How Will You Know?

Most scenarios resulting in the end of the world would ease us into apocalypse. There might be a phase of war, or panic, or confusion before everyone left is certain that this is definitely The End.

How long would your power need to be out before you started to think it wasn’t ever coming back on? How long would you wait to hear from anyone you know who lives outside of your area before you guessed you might be cut off from the rest of the world? How many people would have to fall fatally ill before you came to the grim realization that there is no cure, no quarantine, nothing but getting comfortable and waiting?

Me, personally? I imagine it taking me a while. At least a month. Maybe.

I’d drive around; and as long as I kept seeing people, I’d stave off the panic.

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Post-Apocalyptic Eating

So, today I’ve been eating only non-perishables and drinking water. I’m planing to grab a Powerade, depending on the expiration date. If the date is March 9th 2012 or later it’s mine.

I’m trying to see what it’d be like to only eat food that would still be good a year into the post-apocalyptic world.

I can’t churn butter and I don’t have a chicken or a cow, so dairy is out. I don’t even understand how to make bread with modern electronic tools so that’s not happening.

There were free baked goods everywhere in the office today but I didn’t have any. Bagels would have been a wrap in the first 2 weeks, much less a year later.

I like to think of this as a reverse Old Sturbridge Village experience. Instead of thinking of how our ancestors lived, I’m trying to think of what like might be like in the future.

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